Ok. What's my problem?

[snowdog]

Let me introduce myself.

I'm a 20 year old college dude. Brown hair, blue eyes, good looking. I have a lot of friends, in my area i know everyone and everyone knows me. I have no problem having conversations with girls, socializing, or being around them.

Now, i'm a die hard rocker (mind you, i walk around in normal clothes and when i mean 'rock' i'm not talking about EMO gayness and metal). The only thing i listen to is rock music. I also play the electric guitar for 6 years now and since a few months i play in a band. I can't stand the rubbish they play on MTV and in clubs. I look deeply down upon it and don't see why it's classified in the category "music" in the first place. But the truth is, a lot of nice girls are in clubs so i take it for granted. I've been going out just since a couple of years now. I do it every once in a while with friends. I can ignore the ****ty music instantly when i see all those asses shaking. After a few drinks we usually move to the dancefloor.

Yesterday i was in a club again. There where a whole lot of chicks there, plenty of opportunities. The thing is, i never managed to score with a chick in a club, ever. I know i'm lying to myself if i say i just had a bad night because i'm always ****in it up in clubs. When i'm on the dancefloor i dance to the music in the same sense as everyone else. But how do i approach a girl at that moment when the music is way too loud to talk? Do i go dancing in front of them, or behind them..., making eye contact first...? I just feel completely out of place, even when i've had enough beers to the point where i just don't give a ****. I just can't get completely into the whole 'vibe'.

Help me out here please.

 

[Docs]

From what I can tell, make EC if you have to, but let them know you're there, and lead them into you.

For the dancing with a girl, move with them. They'll do a lot of the work , just be creative with your hand placement, and feel free to spin them around or something. Have fun. Key point.

At least, that seems to be how it's working for me.

 

[Kings_royalty]

Picking up girls in a club can be very challenging.

Most girls that go out want to have fun with their girlfriends and not be bothered. Some want to flirt and be noticed (shocker huh), but aren’t looking to hook up. Some girls want to use guys for drinks (you should be able to spot these a mile away).

Your best bet is to go out and have fun, without making it a priority to pick up girls. Girls can tell when a guy is on the hunt and it’s a major turn off. Hell, even I can tell when a guy is on the hunt because it’s so obvious. If you can, bring along some girls so you don’t look like a group of horny guys trying to get laid.

The big key is to have fun, people (especially girls) will start to notice you if you're having a good time (that’s how it starts).

Ever notice how most guys in a club stand around in groups, talking to each other without interacting with anyone? Don’t be one of those guys, try to mingle but in a casual way.

Wear something that will attract attention, but nothing obvious. The key is to get a girls attention, but play it cool once you do. Get some eye contact; girls love to flirt with their eyes. If they are interested, you will know.

Good Luck

 

[snowdog]

Hmm... i'll keep those in mind. Thanks. Any more tips from anyone are always appreciated. I'll keep watching this thread.

 

[BluEyes]

What's with your fixation on music?

I don't go to the bars or clubs to listen to the DJ spin techno mixes...

I go to the bars and clubs to have a good time and pickup. Most of the time I don't even pay attention to the music, regardless of whether its good or bad.

Get your priorities straight, you're there to have a good time and get laid, not critique other people's music preferences.

I have a friend just like you, who doesn't go anywhere without his Bob Dylan, Hendrix, Neil Young, and Incubus albums...It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. His world is governed by music.

I suggest you lose the headphones and turn off iTunes for awhile, and take a hiatus from music to ween yourself from it.

Good luck

 

[snowdog]

What's with your fixation on music?

I don't go to the bars or clubs to listen to the DJ spin techno mixes...

I go to the bars and clubs to have a good time and pickup. Most of the time I don't even pay attention to the music, regardless of whether its good or bad.

Get your priorities straight, you're there to have a good time and get laid, not critique other people's music preferences.

I have a friend just like you, who doesn't go anywhere without his Bob Dylan, Hendrix, Neil Young, and Incubus albums...It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. His world is governed by music.

I suggest you lose the headphones and turn off iTunes for awhile, and take a hiatus from music to ween yourself from it.

Good luck

I dunno, music has always been very important in my life. It will always be probably. I've been to many concerts and playing in a band made it even crazier. I go to jam sessions in random places all over the country everywhere whenever i get the chance, just to rock out. It just feels so good. Music is always on my mind.

Like i said, when i'm at a club, i tolerate the music there and have a good time. When i'm with good friends and there's enough alcohol i can even enjoy listening to a broken radio that isn't even on a channel but playing just static. I don't give a **** actually at that point. But when i get home and make my anti-hangover tea (basically a big can of tea to flush the alcohol out), i just have to put up some proper music. Kinda the idea of washing dirt off my face before going to bed.

 

[Obsidian]

When they either play pure rap or just techno (especially if there are no lyrics to the techno) it can be pretty hard to dance to. Usually that isn't the case, tho. A good mix is nice, imo. You kinda need a pop-ish/rockish/old-fashioned type song if you want to do any real dance moves. Then the rap songs are good for spicing it up a bit with some grinding.

I'm still not real sure what techno is good for, altho it's one of my favorite types of music. Techno rhythms are kinda weird.

For success in clubs,

1) Dress well

2) Learn some cool moves, and be able to dance without getting drunk first (somehow, drinking usually seems to hurt my game at dances)

3) Be prepared not to hook up. As others have mentioned, don't be fixated on girls. Luck is somewhat important in a competitive arena such as clubs. Try to have fun and look like you're having fun no matter what.

4) Study the kino escalation ladder (http://www.theseductionbible.com/2006/10/17/a-step-by-step-ladder-of-escalation/)

5) Be willing to initiate contact. You will get blown off many times when you do this, but overall it's still a good strategy. Just dance close to a girl and if it looks like she's comfortable with you then just grab her. Sometimes a hand on her elbow or her hand/wrist will get her attention and she will fall right into your arms. Other times you may have to use force pull her up against you a little bit. Alternatively, if she's getting close enough to you it may be an indication that she wants you to start grinding on her so DO IT. (As I said, some of them will freak and run away when you do this, but if you don't do anything then you're just stuck with waiting for h0rs to come initiate contact with you.)

6) Look for EC and other IOIs and then just go for it. These girls are even more likely to dance with you than ones who don't show interest.

 

[snowdog]

Thanks for that post. That link is VERY interesting.