Ok,so I feel now is the time...

[CapedCrusader08]

I have to get better. I have been living in this quiet desperation for too long. I want to change,but want to do it for the right reasons. I want to improve and get better for myself,not out of some inferiority complex or insecuritie,which I have,but I have managed to control them around people.

I have to change my ways,but feel so settled in some of them,esp my own worldview,that changing and seeing things differently is hard. I often feel I am right,and everyone else is wrong,or all this stuff that comes off as superficial nonsensical b.s,which most of it is,doesn't matter and the people who get hung up on it are idiots.

My own personality. I have my own quirks,esp one being often times pissing people off,well,certain people,to get a rise. I have done this as long as I can remember. I am trying to cut down on it. I also have this individiual rather than I guess,"group" mindset,if that makes sense. I guess I have to develop some serious strength of personality. As for that,how do you go from sort of I guess shy, to out going and having people come toward you.

I am going to try and lose as much weight as I can. I weigh 220,and would like to get down to 190-180.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Stop making random threads so you can wallow in your own depression. This is a forum where we help each other, not cater to one dude in multiple threads. Please, be courteous rather than acting like your problems are so unique that they require a multitude of threads.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

That's not what I meant. I am trying to motivate myself and get feedback from others. Do I act like my problems are so unique?

 

[CapedCrusader08]

That's it. I am trying to focus on changing my ways. But what has killed me, is not taking care of what I need to. I feel I have become my own worst enemy. I mean, you know what I mean. I just come home and complain,and can't see anything past that. Yet what I really want to do is meet women/get a social life. Perhaps I just need to start going out/to bars more.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

You've answered your own questions. Sure wallowing in self defeat can have a bitter-sweet sense of fulfillment, but that is only temporary. If you maintain a self defeated attitude you will come to find yourself much worse off in the future. The time to act is now. Use your anger to better yourself, not to feel sorry for yourself.

Recognizing that you need to go out is the first step. I have been reading your threads and this one for once has a glimmer of motivation and don juan in it. Feed off the way you felt upon writing this thread. I have been angry like you before. Let all the anger and frustration build up inside your veins and then use it productively. Change awaits you, I can feel it.