OK now what

[lawbreaker]

Ok. I've gained 20lbs. I've bought better clothes. I moved to a location with more women. I started working out and have good definition in my muscles. I have a great job. I have a nice car. I have a great apartment. I am intelligent, witty, and intuitive. I can hold my own in a conversation about any topic. I can play guitar and piano. I have done everything Pook said, I think. I've been lingering on this site since 2007 absorbing the knowledge. It's not working, now what do I do?

I sometimes go out, and girls check me out. I talk to them, and they leave. I think I am a great F**king guy! But what gives? I see guys that look just like me, and they have girlfriends. I haven't had one for ten years. Should I just kill myself now and get it over with? I'm 37 already; this is geting ridiculous.

My last real girlfriend and I, broke up when I was 27. It's been ten years, and EVERY girl has rejected me since then. Three of the girls I've met actually went and dated dudes that LOOKED like me, but not ME. It's never me. I get laid often enough, but never anything deeper. I never have dates for family and friends outings, and every picture of me on facebook is only me, by myself.

I am so embarrassed I want to die. I am single, can't get a girlfriend, and EVERYONE knows and asks me about it. It's unbearable, wondering what they must think of me.

 

[Boilermaker]

OP:

They are gazelles, and you are the cheetah.

Stop complaining and go catch some.

Cheers,

 

[betheman]

Ok. I've gained 20lbs. I've bought better clothes. I moved to a location with more women. I started working out and have good definition in my muscles. I have a great job. I have a nice car. I have a great apartment. I am intelligent, witty, and intuitive. I can hold my own in a conversation about any topic. I can play guitar and piano. I have done everything Pook said, I think. I've been lingering on this site since 2007 absorbing the knowledge. It's not working, now what do I do?

I sometimes go out, and girls check me out. I talk to them, and they leave. I think I am a great F**king guy! But what gives? I see guys that look just like me, and they have girlfriends. I haven't had one for ten years. Should I just kill myself now and get it over with? I'm 37 already; this is geting ridiculous.

My last real girlfriend and I, broke up when I was 27. It's been ten years, and EVERY girl has rejected me since then. Three of the girls I've met actually went and dated dudes that LOOKED like me, but not ME. It's never me. I get laid often enough, but never anything deeper. I never have dates for family and friends outings, and every picture of me on facebook is only me, by myself.

I am so embarrassed I want to die. I am single, can't get a girlfriend, and EVERYONE knows and asks me about it. It's unbearable, wondering what they must think of me.

what feedback are you getting from the women you are getting laid with?

 

[EastvsWest]

Yeah I am with you here. I am in the same situation but I know it has to be something I am doing. I meet lots of girls but I can't seem to turn it into a lay or even a date. Sometimes it's just unlucky where the chick has a boyfriend (happened twice this week where i met a badass chick but then she had a bf) but other times I get the number but just can't get farther than that. I meet these chicks everywhere so it's not the place as so many people say. Online, Bars, festivals, on the side of the road you name it. I can't be unattractive because these chicks are always very receptive. It's something else but I just can't put my finger on it. It's getting really frustrating!! On top of it all I keep sending my EX messages when I get drunk, which is a terrible idea! We have a good relationship, but it's just dumb to even think of going back. But in such a dry spell what you had always seems better than what you can't get.

Just a couple points. First I won't settle for any chick to just bang. I don't want fatties. Second I have a few chicks at work that are "ready to go" but just can't pull the trigger with a work chick. Don't want it to mess things up. I really need to just get a few plates spinning and all will be good but man it's frustrating to get those plates!

 

[zekko]

I'm guessing that because of lack of experience, you don't know how to smoothly transition from talking to someone casually to turning it into a situaton where you are hanging out with them. You're not comfortable with it because you're not doing it, sort of a catch 22. It's a lack of social skills type of thing. You're stuck in your routine, and old habits die hard. You need to get out of your comfort zone.

 

[Big Nuts]

The "poor me, I can't get a GF" comes off as extremely needy and beta. That is what I think and I actually empathize with you.

Now try to imagine what women are thinking if you give off this aura or vibe.

Until you BELIEVE that you are "the man" you will be forever, the beta.

 

[lawbreaker]

Some guesses from someone who finds himself in prolonged dry spells as well:

1. Not outgoing enough. Have you been asking out enough women? Its a numbers game
.
2. Not maintaining eye contact.

3. Overrating your own value. Are you factoring in height, hair loss, teeth, voice, hand size, **** size(if you got that far for this to even be relevant, congrats ), etc?

4. Are you approaching women below your league for "practice"?

5. No fap. This will make you so horny you will lower your standards to "anything that moves". A healthy mindset in your condition. And you might even find a diamond in the rough. These things tend to have a downhill snowball effect. Also helps with eye contact.

6. Bad personality. Rude? Not in a "jerk" or "c+f" macho way but in a know-it-all nerd way. A great test is to look at your male friends. If you have a horrible personality then you wont have many of them(on the flip side super narcissistic men that are chick crack to women also tend to lack true male friends). http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp take this test to learn about your personality and what you can do to fix it

7. Social circle game. Have you broadened your social circle?

8. Positive attitude. I know your failures are tough, but your view of how people look at you seems a bit paranoid. And this is from a guy that was so AFC he was accused of being gay b/c he was good looking yet a virgin. A lot of guys look up to bachelors like you that get laid a lot.

9. If you get laid a lot but no relationships, are you getting laid with slvts? Maybe you give off a player vibe that scares nice girls. Or maybe you're not good enough to bed for them to stick around.

At the end of the day it will be slim pickens at your age regardless when it comes to LTR material.

Wow, you are quite wise. Let me check out each point you made:

1. Yes, I could go out more. Though I honestly don't know where to go usually. I'm not good at any sports, and I don't have any real hobbies. I don't know where to go, besides bars and clubs, which is getting tiring.

2. I'm good at eye contact so I can definitely say this is not it

3. Damn, I keep forgetting I'm bald and short. THIS is probably the main reason. That's why I'm bulking up now. I'm 5'6 and 144lbs. I think once I hit 160 it will really help. I go tanning a lot. Everyone looks better with a tan!

4. Never even considered approaching women below my league, lol. I guess it's a good idea, but if they start refusing me, it will be quite a blow to my confidence.

5. I had to google "fap". Really? Stop doing it? I do twice a day sometimes. So you're saying never? I will go totally insane, I think. Hmm. I will consider it.

6. My male friends? I had to ditch them, so now I don't have any. They preferred socializing in their backyards to going out, and their girlfriends or wives rarely have single friends over. I just did the humanmetrics test and I'm an ISTJ.

7. I am working on this. I have three new male friends. All they ever want to do is go to the strip-bar, so I've been practising my game on strippers for the past month or two. Good response from the strippers actually. Haven't brought one home yet or anything though.

8. I think I have a positive attitude. In fact, most people say I'm too nice. I think being positive is helping me, but my kindness and easy smile might be too "gay" or "beta" so now I'm trying to be less smiley, and less eager to please. I honestly love helping others, and making them feel good, but this comes across as approval seeking. I get called gay alllll the time. As I bulk up, it's happening less.

9. Yes, I can only usually get slvts actually. The girls I get, any guy could get. I honestly believe I'm good in bed. I can last as long as I need to, and I make them feel good. I know where all the hotspots are on a woman.

Maybe from my answers you could provide some insight. I need all the help I can get.

 

[lawbreaker]

Boilermaker...I can catch them. I'd just prefer if they stayed when I released them from my paws.

 

[lawbreaker]

Thanks guys for your help. I had spent the last 45 minutes typing up a response to pairplusroyalflush, and it was posted, and now it's gone. I don't have the energy to retype everything, and I don't appreciate having it deleted by the administrators, so I'm out of here.

But thanks! I will consider everything that was written in regards to my original post.

I appreciate the feedback.