Ok I give up......I need help guys

[uwoshdave]

I know a lot of you will say read the bible and what not.....ok I will but I just want to make a thread and hopefully get some input.

Here's my story....I'm bad at talking to women. Why? I don't know....I rarely get a good conversation going or spark any interesest. This is obviously a problem. Now, I'm not ugly whatsoever.....most girls think I'm really hot actually, its when they get to know me that the interest usually fades away unfortunately. After I broke up with my last gf back in february, I've only had random drunken hook-ups. All but one of the girls I've hooked up with since have been drunk.....and it seems as if none of them are ever interested in anything else (except for this girl who was a 6, but i have no idea why I fooled around with her).

A thing that does hold me back a lot of times is that I was born in spain and came over to the US when I was 12. So I do have an accent....and although most people don't mind when someone says anything or makes fun of me for it.....well, it crushes all my confidence. I don't think my accent is too nototrious tho, so its not like you can't understand what I say, but yeah its hard sometimes.

I recently graduated high school two months ago, and I'm about to go to college in the fall, so I have a chance for a fresh start there. But looking back at high school I don't have any really good female friends, which is sad.....just a ton of casual friends, the "hey how you been?" type but never call to hang out. I don't want this to repeat in college. Maybe its because I always tried to talk to the hottest girls and almost ignored the so-so ones.....but is that really bad?

Another thing that doesnt help is that my best friend is going out with a jr to be in high school, so he's always hanging out with younger girls. My other friends have gf's so they don't really do much with girls other than their own.

I have been talking to girls from my college through facebook, and I've managed decent convos with them (yea just online though). Anyways, what kind of things would you say to them right now....seems like everything everyone says is "hey you excited for school! We gotta party up there!" If you guys could help me here that'd be awesome to get a head start when I go down there.

Another good thing I have going right now is I just got a job at hollister (told you guys, girls think im hot) where there's a ton of hot girls. I've talked to a few and I already feel akward trying to talk to them sometimes....like I have no idea what to say other than "what time do you get off.....wow this job is boring" or stuff like that. I don't want that to be me. I did recently find out that a couple of my hot co-workers are going to be attending my same college, so I don't wanna f*** things up there.

So right now I'm staying home on a saturday night, feeling defeated. I was invited to two parties, but one of them its all people I never talked to in high school (it would be weird) and the other one is with a bunch of younger high school kids (who I find to be immature and I find no use in trying anything with any of them since I leave in a month). Besides that I have to work tomorrow morning at 8 am so sleep could help. So instead of going to parties to do nothing I thought I'd stay home and try to figure out what I can do to make things better. Am I doing wrong and should I have gone out to party with a bunch of people who I don't know well, and I will rarely ever see again?

One of my best friends always says things like "you're the most beautiful girl ever and I would kill to be with you." He never means it....but it seems to work. I even tried it once and it worked but the girl turned out to not be over her ex......but I've read here that stuff like that is bad to say usually?

So if any of you guys actually read that whole thing I appreaciate much. If you help me out too I'll appreciate it even more.

 

[Phyzzle]

Maybe its because I always tried to talk to the hottest girls and almost ignored the so-so ones.....but is that really bad?

Yes. It is. Some will say you should set high standards for yourself. Fine. Set high standards for your future wife. But when you've only had one gf, and you're dating around for life experience, you don't need a professional model for a coffee date and a make-out session. Just get some girls for now.

should I have gone out to party with a bunch of people who I don't know well, and I will rarely ever see again?

I would have just for social practice. You need to get girls talking about themselves. In college, you talk about their major (psychology) and what they want to do with life.

 

[mattb717]

Starting conversations is easy. Just let them do most of the talking. Ask a lot of open-ended questions. Where are they from? What brought them to that college? More often than not if you're really listening to a girl you can find other questions in their answers. If they ask you the same questions, give short answers and turn the attention back to them.

 

[uwoshdave]

Next I suggest you start going to the univeristy gym, ASAP!!!!. You will meet tons of people their that might even be in your class and socialize their as well. If you live on campus, its even better because people get loose in the dorms and socialize ridiculously. I don't live on campus so things can be a little tough.

Oh that's already taken care of bro. See, I basically turned into a meathead 4 years ago fr year in hs. Even now in the summer I get up at 7am to go work out for 2 hours. I have the bodybuilding.com forums bookmarked. And my major is excercise science. So fitness is pretty much my life (or will be).

And thanx to all of you for your help. I have been reading a few articles on the bible and damn that's good sh*t. I tried some of that last night while talking to a couple of girls online and now they both really want to hang out 1st day of classes. I was going to try this at work today but unfortunately I had to open (3 hrs before store opens) and basically all I did even after we opened was clean. So I didn't have the chances to socialize that I usually have at work. But I'll def work on that tmm.

But yeah overall I loved that bible thing....couldnt fall asleep last night so I read a lot of it until 3 am. Specially loved the 10 commandments article.

Any more advice?