OK everyone need some help replying to her emailllll calling all MDJ and SDJs!!!!!!

[Pancho84]

Hey guys. So I met this chick over the net not long ago and we've been emailing back and forth basically every day. Everything was going great and last night I wrote her an email that was pretty sarcastic and just picked on her like I had in the previous emails you know... - however you can't exactly read sarcasm all the time in an email you know what I'm saying.. anyway, things turned sour and she took it in ALL the wrong ways. I just pick on her a lot and it had been fine in the other emails she always had a positive and funny/smartassy response which is good. Anyway, please read up her response and let me know how you guys feel I should respond.

THANK YOU

Here's what she wrote:

Hey hun....
I dunno why u have to be so mean replying to my messages....God man! geez guys these days---always complaining among the smallest things----lol......

But u seem to be VERY silly--to a point were it'll get to annoying later. I mean can we carry a convo w/out u criticizing everything I say. And yes i was a super baby-why is that hard to believe. COme on genius---u shouldve been able to answer that all by urself--i didnt have to put in a way were it explained every detail of ME comin to America. so u kno that i was wit my family. Or do u have to be such a smartass and say something about it....its ok i still luv u....

FYI-as an undecided student, it means that i take all general classes that every1 takes until i figure out my major. im still a undergrad---and every undergrad student takes general courses and then they take all their major classes—or if they already kno their major then they can take some of their major classes along wit the general courses. I dunno why I should explain this to u---I mean u’ll jus say something retard about it anyways. I mean geez—not every1 knos what they want to do when they get to college and u don’t have to be so critical about it either.

And FYI once mor- I was able to get the scholarship if I went to that skool---I was guaranteed that scholarship when I was in the 11th grade---and even if I didn’t get the scholarship and my parents let me go, I still would’ve done fine w/out the scholarship. Once again no need to explain…lol… u kno, u seemed to be such a sweet guy in the beginning—I dunno whether that was jus an act or what---j/k….ur still a sweet guy jus a little too silly—but that’s fine to…lol….

And if u weren’t soo mean and critical, mayb I could’ve thought about pickin u up. But even after being that---u label me as a dirty Iraqi? Umm ok… I dunno what way to take that---but i wont take that in a bad way—lol—ill jus leave it at that. You’ll probably be in Detroit by the time u get this so jus wanted 2 welcome u back… Hope u had a great time in Florida!!!!!! Ok silly---ill await for my next grammar lesson---don’t be so late wit it sir, I mean u don’t wanna disappoint ur student….lol… TTUL
Byeeeeeeeee………..



=================

just a little note here - the dirty iraqui comment was meant in a "dirty dirty girrrl" kind of manner not in a literal manner. I don't want to upset anyone here lol

Guys help me out this was a cold bucket of water lol

 

[Wyldfire]

Sounds to me like your teasing hit on a couple of areas where she's likely insecure. She kept defending her intelligence and she likely feels a bit insecure about her heritage in light of the level of bigotry toward muslims and Iraqis. So, explain that you were joking with her and didn't intend to offend her. Then don't ever pick on her about those two areas again.

 

[Jariel]

It looks like this girl just wants to get to know you and you have been trying too hard to integrate the techniques and stuff you have been reading.

You don't need to be teasing or neg hitting her unless her ego is getting over inflated.

She clearly wants to talk on a serious level, so all you need to do is be yourself and talk to her about your interests, and work on rapport. Connecting with a woman is infinitely more effective than humour, so try to find things you have in common, show interest in her and her life.

I think this is salvagable, but as Wyldfire said, it may be a good idea to explain it was a joke and apologise.

 

[Pancho84]

thank you both. I will give you guys an update on this later. Anyone else has an opinion???
thank you

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Pancho84
however you can't exactly read sarcasm all the time in an email you know what I'm saying.. anyway, things turned sour and she took it in ALL the wrong ways. I just pick on her a lot and it had been fine in the other emails she always had a positive and funny/smartassy response which is good.

1) "Dirty Iraqi" is going to far. Usually the quickest way to a woman's heart is NOT insulting her heritage.

2) Sarcasm all the time gets old...no woman likes a man who's bitter all the time, even in a funny way.

3) You said it yourself, you can't tell via E-mail how to take that sh!t.

Here's how you respond:


xxx,

I didn't mean offense by what I said, you should know that. Trying to have a fun conversation over E-mail is impossible, though. Why don't you call/meet me at...

 

[MetalFortress]

Can't tell via email how to take that MY EYE. That's why I use emoticons to denote something not totally serious. You know, , , ;P, etc, as well as a well placed "haha j/k", or even spelling like an idiot. It's not hard to get a joke across via internet communication unless you're a total dunce.

 

[Pancho84]

Oh you better believe I used emoticons. The way in which it was all typed was not in a serious manner, it had lols smilies and winks - it was typed in the same context/manner the previous emails had been typed and her responses were positive.
well, I guess I'll try to make the best out of the situation and use what I know to turn the tables over. I guess you could say it's a great chance to walk the talk lol

Leaving back to Dtown at 10 am. I'll keep you guys posted
thank you all
Pancho.

 

[Pancho84]

The turn-around....

Hey ya'll lol
OK so here's an update as to what hapenned with this situation. I think I have successfuly turned the table around and we are set to go out this tuesday or so.

Here are the main sections of the reply I sent her and the emails there after. Any comments??? Enjoy.

(btw I've noticed that the last emails she has paid a lot more attention to her grammar and the reduction of abbreviations... which is good, Im not too fond of bad syntax.)
==============================================
So here's my reply to her rather defensive email...:

I read your email last night and gave it a lot of thought overnight and that is why you’ll be getting this by this afternoon(hopefully). About the last email I’m not so sure if this is a call to take things back.. however whatever was said was never meant in a serious, literal manner; let alone to offend you. If it was a serious email.. that’d have sure made a mean mean email! lol and if I was in your shoes and interpreted an email like that literally, I would probably be offended too so.. I mean .. what’s done is done but what I want to do right now is to let you know that there wasn’t a cell in my being that meant any smart remarks to be absorbed whole or taken literally. If I offended you in any way -- I’m honestly sorry. If anything, I just sought to crack a laugh from you and that was the extent of the purpose of whatever I said and in the manners they were written. Unfortunately, you can’t always communicate intention, sarcasm or wit through email since phrases can still be taken in the wrong context. Emailing back and forth just doesn’t cut it sometimes you know?

I definitely want to thank you though for making it a point to bring this up, I cannot tell you how many people I have met that have taken things personally and kept it in - and sooner or later that’s only hurtful to both. Most people would rather hold something in rather than take some form of action to solve the issue and risk momentary unease. Needless to say, you’ve proven different and I definitely value that in someone–it certainly shows a lot of maturity, integrity and even uniqueness. Think about it – when most don’t, you do. You should also know that I feel very fortunate to get to know someone with your apparent qualities and certainly, beauty. I appreciate clear communication from people I talk to, so I guess what I’m saying is thank you for giving me a chance to clarify things instead of simply walking away or holding things in. Some people almost expect mind reading and that just isn’t one of my current talents lol but I’m working on it though, I’m working on it!!

Well, I’ll make it up to you – you just let me know. After all, you are right… I don’t want to disappoint you.
I do want to ask you to meet me for some coffee sometime this week but I don’t know what your schedule is like for the week so obviously I can’t suggest a time. If you let me know and think its ok, then I’m positive we could work out a day and time. I would love to meet you. Hows that?

Well I’m going to go night nights. I’m sooooo exhausted it’s ridiculous, I only slept 4 hours last night and it’s almost 3 am. In any case, I certainly hope you understand and accept my apologies and realize that I’m very intrigued by a certain girl called Katherine… do you know who I’m talking about by any chance? BTW, intrigued is good. Very very good indeed

Well you are probably as sleep already…
sweet dreams
Buona sera princepessa =o)




============ HER REPLY: (note she took about 3 days to reply although she would usually reply right away... btw I didnt send her any emails during that time..)

Hey there...
How have u been? Sorry for replying so late...but been kinda hectic for me @ skool, wrk, and @ home. But anyways, all is good now...we're coool. As long as we both kno that clear communication is what we seek for when talking wit some1 via mail or what....
man u mustve been very tired when typing this, i mean b4 gettin on the plane, gettin on the plane and when u were @ home....however i do appreaciate u respondin back....and there really isnt any need for apologizes.....Id figure that all was not meant, however, sometimes u gotta let the other person kno when theyre comin close to breakin the line....U seem like a very sweet guy and u truely seem like a nice gentlemen, so thats why there isnt any hard feelings.... As far as meeting wit other----for sur, why not...jus let me kno when u want and ill see what i could do...i have classes Mon, Wed, Fri from 8:30am-11:45am and on Tues from 8am-10am.....Will anyways let me kno what u wanna do---(this week will probably not work, but mayb next week, ok)....I have to go im at wrk now and i need to get back to work, so ill ttu some other time, ok....
BTW---what does this phrase mean.... (Buona sera princepessa)
Ok hun...take care...Byeee....



===================== (note - I took my time to reply, I took a good 2 and a half days but she's used to a 1 day turnaround.. the next day she sent this note since I had not replied yet )


Hey buddy....
i sent u a message but then when i checked to c if u responded...it didnt say that i had replied to ur message...so i dunno if u got my message or not...but let me kno if u did or didnt...cause i kno i sent u a message but its soo weird why it didnt say replied by message u sent me....i dunno...will let me kno...i dont want to make u think that im ignoring u...Ok buddy...TTUL!!!!!
Byeeeeee....


===================== a day after this note I replied:

Hey you ! =o)

How’s It hanging?
I can’t believe it hit 60 the other night! It was nice… anyhow, did you hear about the 200 car crash pile up by Lansing? It’s crazy..

So I’m glad to see that you had a positive response for me and chose that instead of getting resentful… that speaks very loudly - I like positive attitudes. =) I’m sorry I took a while to respond to your email but lately I have been rather busy with my projects, and school, last night I took some time off for myself and right now I’m typing to you from Java Hutt in downtown Birmingham. This is like my second home lol I spend so much time around here it’s crazy. So for now, I’m just relaxing and taking some time out for myself before I need to get back to work --- As far as my trip back to the D went… I was like… way the heck too exhausted hahaha omg I slept from the minute I sent you that email until like 12 the next day. That felt good …

Well, so apparently I pass the test so I can get to meet you ! yayyyy haha tell you what, how does lunch at the Avalon pastry shop sound ---- perhaps for Tuesday? Ideally I would ask you to just meet me up in Royal Oak since I spend a lot of time in that area, but I don’t know at what time you have to work or whatnot. Well, the Avalon has amazing yummi things, so if that sounds good to you, then by all means lets go ahead and do that.

Well, I’m going to get back to reading and drinking some cider haha but make sure you get back to me! And “buona sera princepessa..” hey no cheating! that’s your homework to find out it’s a good thing though so…. You’ll have to find a way to find out if you really want to know..

============================= her reply:

Hey buddy,
How r u? Glad to hear that ur classes started out well....unlike mine....But its ok....it didnt start out well but its gettin better. I registered late for my classes cause WSU had a hold on my account and it took them forever to take the hold out. So all the classes that i wanted to register for were ALL full! But it worked out well cause every1 started droppin after the 2nd day of class. So, in the end, i got some of the classes i want and it all fit perfect wit my wrk schedule.

ummm Avalon? Havent heard of that...As long as its close to campus....or even better if its on campus....I dont wanna seem to weird, and no offense at all, but since this is our 1st time meeting and since i dont usually do this...id rather stay somewhere near campus....i dunno its long story to that, but let me kno....what u think?...ok.....Will Tuesday i go to wrk after class---10-5....the only day that i dont wrk is Monday....will @ least not until 4:30 that is.....I got nothin from 12-4....Umm i dunno what else i should tell u, but let me kno.......

Ok if u dont tell what that phrase means, how am i gonna find out.....jus let me kno.....

=============


ANYHOW, I sent her a reply but everything seems to be flowing good.
Feedback anyone?
BTW, is anyone here going to the Detroit Auto Show? I'm going tomorrow...

take it easy guys(and gurls )
Me.

 

[MindOverMatter]

your next email should include you telling her that spelling "school" as "skool" makes her sound like a dumb b!tch, in your best C&F/neg-hit way.

haha just kidding, but for the future references man, don't go into conversations with guns blazing, throwing every neg-hit, sarcastic comment you can. be yourself. if she gives you a b!tch vibe, then feel free to throw a neg (a real neg, not an insult like "dirty iraqi" lol, if i knew you in real life i'd buy you a beer for telling that to a girl haha)

 

[backbreaker]

You messed up a long time ago.

When you meet someone on the internet, something I don't believe in, but if you do, the goal isn't to exchange emails every day, but to get them on the phone.

After you get them on the phone, the goal is to get them in person.

If it's not possible to meet this person in person, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS TALKING TO THEM.

She wants to be serious, get her number and call her.

You might find out she is a nutcase. it's easy to be the perfect person when you can think before you type.