"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Oh wow, what the hell do I do with this girl?

L

LostAndConfused

Master Don Juan
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Heres a new one.

So this girl I'm dating (im casual with her at the moment) is also "casual" with about 2 (maybe 3, maybe OVER 9000) other guys.

Anyways, she wants to take me on the same date she took the other 2(+) guys to....some movie date. You can probably guess the movie, its out in theaters now.

Whenever I suggest one other date she shows interest but she ends up wanting to go on the same date that she went with the others.

She's not really a one-itis, im seeing 2 other girls and talking to a third one, but shes the one i want the most out of all of them...

What do I do? I know I could drop her but I might as well ride the whole thing out (no homo) until I HAVE to drop her, you know?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

A

AlexTheGreat

Senior Don Juan
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The simplest thing to do (also probably the hardest) is to tell her that you don't want to go to "that date", that you don,t feel like it (don't tell her any deep reason, she doesn't need to know), and propose something else. And don't accept counteroffers if they don't satisfy you. :)
 
T

The Comeback Kid

Master Don Juan
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She said she wants to go on this movie date because she went on the same date with two other guys - and she told you this?? :trouble: As the smiley suggests, this could be trouble.

It seems like she wants to directly compare you to her other recent dates like some sort of game show. You always want to separate yourself from the pack, going to this movie doesn't do that. Suggest an actual place and time (i.e. bowling, Monday, 5:00). If the girl keeps persisting that she wants to see the movie for the 3rd time...to see how each movie date stacks up...I don't think it's worth it. She's trying to have her cake and eat it too.

You have two other more-normal-sounding options...see what they're up to if this girl keeps acting so stubbornly.
 
L

LostAndConfused

Master Don Juan
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Alex: I've told her that. So she's tried more desperate ways to get me to go. ie: "Lets get drunk then see this movie."

Comeback: Funny you say that, I actually did suggest an actual place (and general time), and she flaked.

Already went out on a first date with her, it went well.

You know the concept of wanting what you can't have? I already have the other two so I don't want them *half* as much as this other girl. Man I'm fvcked up....

btw she just send me a text, i didn't even bother to respond.
 
M

Metacomet

Don Juan
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Huh. Maybe she just really likes that movie....

If she wants to 'compare' you it will happen within the first five minutes of the date. Doesn't really matter what activity you do or where you go.

If you're not interested move on. If you're interested - stop over analyzing.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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