"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Oh not again...how do I navigate this?

Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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I fear "dipping your pen in the company ink" to an extent. I don't want to risk getting into any trouble or getting fired. This viewpoint was driven home a couple of years ago. I was interning at a company and became attracted to another intern, who certainly had looks (HB 8.5). Before realizing she is a guidette and is as smart as a rock, my co-workers could sense I was attracted to her. I never made a move (because of work), but my department acting like eager middle schoolers was annoying enough. Somehow, this did not affect my performance at work and I managed to do very well there.

Currently, I am working a part-time position with a pro sports team. The position lasts about three months and I began 2-3 weeks ago. The team I work for is in its league's playoffs, and our department has brought on some volunteers to help work games with us (they're college students). One of the volunteers had a gorgeous pair of eyes and is overall quite attractive (HB 8). Being a confident DJ-in-the-making, I made sure to get to know her a little bit, as well as the other volunteers (there were only 4 of them). Almost immediately, HB8 and I got into playful banter - she is a sports fan, and roots for all of my team's arch rivals. When she asked me about my teams, she started counting "strikes" when I told her the "correct" teams. :crackup: Later on, she joked - in front of my supervisor - that she was going to smack me when I made a wisecrack about one of her teams getting pummeled that night. I did catch her looking at me once, and we exchanged numbers. We briefly texted the next day (I initiated it) because one of her favorite teams got lucky and won their game. The playful jabs went both ways.

Overall, I didn't think much of it. She has a good personality and good looks, but I have misinterpreted signals before. More importantly, I feel compromised to even try anything because I see her in a work setting. HOWEVER, one of my friends who also works during games (works with local media) tells me that she told him I, "look good and am funny" and it seems she told him this because he and I are friends. Not bad...not bad at all. :up:

Fortunately, there aren't many games left. I can always ask her to do something on an off-day even though she is in college about 45 minutes from where I live (the games are late at night). How would you go about this? I don't need anyone I work with to know what I am up to, and don't want to risk a situation where she says no and word gets to my supervisor.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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Any suggestions on the best way to go through with this would be appreciated. While she is done with her volunteering soon, I don't want anything to catch wind of others at work. Don't need that drama again.
 

loveshogun

Master Don Juan
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Wait it out

For now, keep it light, funny, and brief. Do what you're doing and maintain professional conduct, and let that little bit of tension grow.

Never talk about your personal life or plans outside of work. Go out with other people in the meantime so that you don't start one-itising.

Wait and ask her out after she leaves the team. She's an intern. Those positions don't last long.

Getting fired because things go south, however, can stick with you for a while.

Good luck.
 

Mr. Goods

Don Juan
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loveshogun said:
For now, keep it light, funny, and brief. Do what you're doing and maintain professional conduct, and let that little bit of tension grow.

Never talk about your personal life or plans outside of work. Go out with other people in the meantime so that you don't start one-itising.

Wait and ask her out after she leaves the team. She's an intern. Those positions don't last long.

Getting fired because things go south, however, can stick with you for a while.

Good luck.
Thanks for the advice. I usually like to strike while the iron is hot, but I am unsure if I can do that in this situation. Letting the tension grow - something I can use some work on anyway - is good.

Keeping my life outside of work a mystery isn't bad, though I will need to ask her out to something at some point lol. Going out with other girls normally is a good idea; however, where I live, nothing will be happening there (long story).

My part-time job will be over in 2 1/2 months, but it's still a good job for the time being. Getting fired or in trouble would not be good. Towards the end of her time here, I will directly ask her out. I only see her when my team is home during the playoffs, so it won't be an everyday thing.
 
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