Oh I cant decide!!

[griffon65]

Ok Im having some problems with my approach. Well actually deciding which one to use. I've never had problems approaching any girl. But lately theres been stuff going on thats making me doubt every single desicion I make, so Im doubting my approach and thinking of other ones. Well heres the scenario, theres a whole bunch of girls in my classes (college), that I want to talk to but Im trying to decide just how to do it. Heres my approaches

A. Aggressive(this is my approach): Talk to a girl 1 or 2 times (5-10 min convos) and ask her for her number. But dont call her any time soon. Just talk to her a few times in class afterwords. This shows your interested but not desperate. And you also build a friendship but not the "pansy" type of friendship. Then call her 1-2 weeks afterwords. Talk and if convo goes well ask her out. If convos not smooth keep talking and try again later or drop her.

Pros: you look aggressive, confident but not too interested. Makes you more seem like your a ladies man and shes just another girl your talking to.
Cons: you may come off like every other guy hitting on her the first time you talk to her. Can seem like you might just be trying to get in her pants by hitting on her so quick.

B. The slower approach: Talk to the girls in my class. Since shes in my class I can get to know her w/o hitting on her immediatly. So I wont ask for a number quick. Talk mabye for a few week (5-6) and flirt occasionaly. But dont talk to her every day. This is so you dont seem too interested. Build up a friendship. Then after that ask for her number. Talk on the phone and ask her out.

A. Pros: Still shows confidence because you talked to her. Is orginal because you dont come off as just another guy whos just hitting on her. You already have a connection with her by the time you get her number.

B. Cons: May come of as not confident because you took your time before asking her number. May make you look like a nice guy. Slow so she might have a BF by the end of the 6 weeks.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

You're right about all those pros and cons. What approach you take needs to be determined based off the kind of girl it is and what you want out of the relationship. Sometimes the aggressive approach works best, sometimes the slower one does. If you're trying to get laid as fast as possible then go with the aggressive. If you're just trying to meet new people then go with the slower.

 

[griffon65]

well I want to get laid but I want a realationship. Do you think useing the first approach hurts your chances at a relationship? And what kind of girl do you think each is apprpopriete for?

 

[Dapper Swindler]

I'm not a DJ at all so I can't give you expert advice. But after taking another look at your "aggressive" approach, I don't think it's really that aggressive at all. There are people here who talk about spanking girls within 30 seconds of meeting them. That's aggressive. Talking to them twice before asking for their number is not. And your "slower" approach is way too slow under any circumstances. "Building up a friendship" first is what you do NOT want to do. There's nothing wrong with hitting on someone. Society has such a negative perception of "hitting" on girls. All "hitting" on a girl means is that you think she seems like someone you might want to be involved with and you'd like to get to know her more. You need to SHOW them you're interested on day one. There are a bunch of topics about what to say to meet girls in classes. It's very easy.

 

[griffon65]

Good to see that you agree with my approach. Hopefully i'll get a few more opnions on this

 

[griffon65]

lol guess I shouldnt expect too many responses at 3am

 

[backbreaker]

here is the thing with that.


if you have to progress all of that information everytime you talk to a woman, you don't look confident... as a matter of fact it would be kinda freaky because your words are not matching your actions.

dude, it's a woman, it's not that hard. I promise it isn't. just tell her you are interested in her and would like to meet up with her sometime.