"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Oh damn I just ate.

T

This Times For Real

Don Juan
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Is it just me, or do people look fatter after they eat? Usually I eat and I look alot fatter than before. To me it looks like ecerything on me has gotten fatter. Is it just me? That is also one of the main reasons I do not eat before going to school.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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D

DJBen

Master Don Juan
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Your food has to go SOMEWHERE. It's completely normal, although some people look a bit plumper after they eat than others.

Dont sweat it - and dont worry about looking fatter before school. People really wouldnt notice.
 
M

MetalFortress

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by This Times For Real
Is it just me, or do people look fatter after they eat? Usually I eat and I look alot fatter than before. To me it looks like ecerything on me has gotten fatter. Is it just me? That is also one of the main reasons I do not eat before going to school.
Click to expand...
geesh, you sound like an anorexic teenage girl. PLEASE, DEAL WITH IT.
 
L

Levex

Master Don Juan
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Re: Re: Oh damn I just ate.

Originally posted by MetalFortress
geesh, you sound like an anorexic teenage girl. PLEASE, DEAL WITH IT.
Click to expand...
werd.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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M

madgame

Master Don Juan
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of course u might look "a bit" fatter or whateva but ur actual body fat levels wont rise or anything.
 
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