I don't even know what to really say but I'm banging this hot little number that has four kids and now i find out she is preggers. I want her to have a paternity test done but i know she'll blow up if I even mention it. She says I'm the only one she's been messing around with but you know how that goes. God damn am I screwed now. I feel so crappy now because she already has four from 2 other guys and now the dumbass I am has fallen into the trap.
Oh boy did I mess up bad!
- Thread starter cognac
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Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
So what? You're having a kid, just like your parents had you. Life goes on. Lots of guys regret knocking a chick up at first, but everyone loves their kid once they arrive. Your baby-momma-to-be is also hot, and probably pretty good at raising babies by now. This could be a lot worse.
Happens!
What trap? She's insanely smart to remove the condom without you noticing that moist feeling when you don't wear one. Yeah right! Blame the women why don't you.
What advice do you expect really when the damage is already done?
Why not ask us how to become a good father of one plus four!?
What trap? She's insanely smart to remove the condom without you noticing that moist feeling when you don't wear one. Yeah right! Blame the women why don't you.
What advice do you expect really when the damage is already done?
Why not ask us how to become a good father of one plus four!?
STR8UP said:
Absolutely! That could be the beginning of the end of a once promising life. It happened to a friend of mine after a ONS at a frat party. The girl (I use the term loosely) was a heffer from out of town. Then came the registered letter saying he's the father of a newborn. He didn't find out until after the birth. He denied it and fought it tooth and nail. It cost him plenty. Eventually, they settled on him providing his medical history with no admission of paternity. He's one of the lucky ones.
Say "No" to pigs! :nono:
Señor Fingers
Master Don Juan
Oh boy, you really screwed up bad!
Somehow you are going to have to be positive about this or YOU ARE going to live a living hell.
Maybe even turn it into a positive, which is get it out of your life or be responsible for your actions and be happy about it.
First make sure it is yours!!
I see you having 3 options or 4 which is the cowards way.
1. Abortion, which I personally would not try and have done. And considering she already has 4 other kids I would not think this would be in her mindset. Shes a mom. So this option is very slim, not going to happen in my opinion.
2. Abandon her and get socked with child support for 18 years or more if he or she goes to college. I dont like this option either because your not being responsible for your actions. The kid needs a dad.
3. Can you make a life with this women? Are you 2 at the age where you would be ready to settle down. Do you see her being able to be in a relationship? This could be something different for both of you, raising a family as a couple. Its a long shot but not impossible. It depends on the adults attitude. Are they mature enough? Lots of soul searching...............
The positive of this is she probally recieves a minimum of $600.00 a week in child support for the other 4 children, if the dads are paying, Along with your salary you could probally move into a house with that kind of weekly income. Yes its a long shot but nothing is impossible and I'm trying to give you some positives which is about impossible in your situation. Is this how she lives, off the child support?
4. Dissapear......................to another country or state and leave her with the problems...............I would not recommend it but some deadbeat dads do it this way.
If you stay with her get a fricken vasectomy pronto!!!!
My 2 cents trying to be a little positive. Its not the end of the world but came dam close.
Somehow you are going to have to be positive about this or YOU ARE going to live a living hell.
Maybe even turn it into a positive, which is get it out of your life or be responsible for your actions and be happy about it.
First make sure it is yours!!
I see you having 3 options or 4 which is the cowards way.
1. Abortion, which I personally would not try and have done. And considering she already has 4 other kids I would not think this would be in her mindset. Shes a mom. So this option is very slim, not going to happen in my opinion.
2. Abandon her and get socked with child support for 18 years or more if he or she goes to college. I dont like this option either because your not being responsible for your actions. The kid needs a dad.
3. Can you make a life with this women? Are you 2 at the age where you would be ready to settle down. Do you see her being able to be in a relationship? This could be something different for both of you, raising a family as a couple. Its a long shot but not impossible. It depends on the adults attitude. Are they mature enough? Lots of soul searching...............
The positive of this is she probally recieves a minimum of $600.00 a week in child support for the other 4 children, if the dads are paying, Along with your salary you could probally move into a house with that kind of weekly income. Yes its a long shot but nothing is impossible and I'm trying to give you some positives which is about impossible in your situation. Is this how she lives, off the child support?
4. Dissapear......................to another country or state and leave her with the problems...............I would not recommend it but some deadbeat dads do it this way.
If you stay with her get a fricken vasectomy pronto!!!!
My 2 cents trying to be a little positive. Its not the end of the world but came dam close.
Rumpelstiltskin
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Is she that fat?cognac said:
She is not the pig that fingers displayed, is she?
I have two words for you, and one is contracted, "You're Fawked!"
Another one in the matrix line.
So…you want to room a woman and FIVE kids (80% of which are from other men) in your trailer?
Dude, child support in America is crazy to the point that even years LATER you can end up paying for it. And here is the beauty…even if the child is not yours…the fact you are living with him could be more than enough for you to be forced to pay child support.
If a woman have 4 children from two different men…what make you think she won’t even go for a fifth one? Lot of $$$ for a woman that is getting child support from 3 different men. Lot of $$$.
Dude, child support in America is crazy to the point that even years LATER you can end up paying for it. And here is the beauty…even if the child is not yours…the fact you are living with him could be more than enough for you to be forced to pay child support.
If a woman have 4 children from two different men…what make you think she won’t even go for a fifth one? Lot of $$$ for a woman that is getting child support from 3 different men. Lot of $$$.
Child support is NOT supposed to be used for boarding of boyfriend/husband. It is supposed to be used to contribute toward the children expenses.logic1 said:
I would not consider #3 in the decision making scheme.
Abandonment can get him into jail as in today's society...lot of men in jail are due to non-payment of child support.
You are correct but thats not the way it ends up. In the state I live the men pay x amount of dollars to the court every week then a check is issued to the parent with custody of the child.Latinoman said:
They have no idea how it is spent nor do they care as long as it is paid.
This guy would never have to pay support for the other 4 children. Even if they got married the women would still recieve the payments each week. It COULD be adjusted if the men took her back to court and showed she had more income coming in. Even if they divorced he would only pay on his child.
These are the laws in my state they might vary from state to state.
I have never heard of an organization checking to see how the child support money is being spent. They dont care as long as it is paid weekly to the mom.
What I meant by abandon, is start a life as if this didn't happen but pay the child support for the child which is based off his income. If he is interested in being part of the childs life he does have rights for visitation. There is no law requiring him to marry this women........but......................as I stated in #3 he could start a different type life if the women is willing and use the support from the other 4 kids to help the family survive.
He is in a big mess but its not going away. He needs some options as in what to do and not women at the moment.
I pay child support...and I check to make sure it is spent correctly.logic1 said:
Why would he want to be the father figure of those 4 kids? What if one of the fathers do not pass child support or for that matter die and HE eventually becomes the father figure of the other children? What if he leaves and the court forces him to pay child support for the other children?
And what is to say that she would not rather use HIS child support to supplement HER income?
I'm sure this is her game as of now, using the support to live on.
He would NEVER have to pay support on the other 4 kids. Even if one of the fathers die. Yes his contribution to the support the family would go up.
Hell maybe the child would recieve an inheritance??
The system is screwed, There are women who make this their job. A lot of child support payments and welfare. She could be one of them.
As far as him being their father figure??????? Well I guess it depends on where he is at in life. You can look at it in a positive way????? He could be ready for being involved in kids lifes. Depends on the women. What is she like, probally not the best in the head but who knows. Maybe she is ready to raise a family with a father figure. These were some of the best times of my life.
If it was me I would not marry the women and pay support for the child and be the best dad I could be under the circumstances. I would go for as much visitation as possible. If you get joint custody your child support is lower.
I'm trying to give ideas because I'm sure there are other people on this board in similiar situations. The bottom line is he has the last call and hope it is the best for everyone involved.
Maybe someone else has a solution. The only way it goes away is a abortion and I dont see it happening. I could not see it in my mind.
He would NEVER have to pay support on the other 4 kids. Even if one of the fathers die. Yes his contribution to the support the family would go up.
Hell maybe the child would recieve an inheritance??
The system is screwed, There are women who make this their job. A lot of child support payments and welfare. She could be one of them.
As far as him being their father figure??????? Well I guess it depends on where he is at in life. You can look at it in a positive way????? He could be ready for being involved in kids lifes. Depends on the women. What is she like, probally not the best in the head but who knows. Maybe she is ready to raise a family with a father figure. These were some of the best times of my life.
If it was me I would not marry the women and pay support for the child and be the best dad I could be under the circumstances. I would go for as much visitation as possible. If you get joint custody your child support is lower.
I'm trying to give ideas because I'm sure there are other people on this board in similiar situations. The bottom line is he has the last call and hope it is the best for everyone involved.
Maybe someone else has a solution. The only way it goes away is a abortion and I dont see it happening. I could not see it in my mind.
Never say never...logic1 said:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpa...1A35750C0A961948260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all
“While courts in some states seem to be showing greater willingness to grant stepparents visitation and, to a lesser extent, custody, the issue of child support remains much murkier. Under common law, stepparents have no obligation to support stepchildren. However, stepparents may be charged with child support after a divorce if they have stood in loco parentis (in place of a parent) in such ways as providing financial support and assuming custodial duties.”
Below are other links of some bizarre child support situations (not related to step-parenhood).
http://ancpr.com/blog/2007/12/03/lesbians-sperm-donor-must-pay-child-support-the-daily-mail/ (sperm donor got stuck with child support)
http://www.ejfi.org/family/family-77.htm
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/11/paternity.cases/index.html
http://www.reason.com/news/show/28570.html
Latinoman your right on never say never!! I should have known that. Used different words.
Yes I skimmed the bizzare cases. Anything can happen. Wild!!
I was researching the laws from my state and I could almost say it would never (oops theres that word) happen here, but in the crazy cases with the lawyers you never know.
I think I could wager you a cold one though.
Later
Yes I skimmed the bizzare cases. Anything can happen. Wild!!
I was researching the laws from my state and I could almost say it would never (oops theres that word) happen here, but in the crazy cases with the lawyers you never know.
I think I could wager you a cold one though.
Later