"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Off-shoot from Loner thread

knglerxt

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Location
South Carolina
How do you meet women if you're naturally not a social person?

Let me explain. I only want female companionship. I have no interest in developing a circle of friends. I know this goes against rules in the "Bible", but that's just the way I am. I'm pretty much alone all the time. If I go anywhere or do anything, I'm alone. The only exception is visiting family sometimes. The only problem I have with it is that it makes it almost impossible to meet women in today's society. I like my solitude, but I also have a sex drive like everyone else. So going the rest of my life without a woman is not an option. I'm not paying for sex, either.

Is walking up to random women in stores and on the street the only chance I have? Granted, most people don't meet like this, but I don't really see any other way. My personality and lifestyle don't give me many options.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Nexus Polaris

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
452
Reaction score
13
You have to modify it, man. If you don't learn to adapt, you won't get what you want. Adaptability is an alpha trait anyway.

I'm the same way. I spend a lot of time alone because I enjoy my own company. But I also have a circle of friends that I hang out with when I want to be social. I can still do both. I just had to strike a balance.

But realistically, if you don't enjoy being social with people, you won't enjoy being social with women either. Since women are people. Instead, you'll sit there bored and annoyed and waiting for sex which you won't get.
 

steve38

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2007
Messages
98
Reaction score
3
I'm pretty much the same way, a solitary creature. The whole 'group dynamics' thing baffles me. And I'm no stud, but I have picked up more girls when alone than when with friends. Your attitude means SO much more than who you are with. If your DJ game is on, you are gonna do well no matter what. But the best thing is that being alone, you are gonna attract girls like you and repel the social butterflies. And that's a good thing.
 

Mr Autobahn

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2006
Messages
71
Reaction score
0
I don't think you need to be an extrovert to get the women but you need to have a life. I certainly hope you are doing stuff other than sitting in front of the TV or computer screen...

Like me for instance replying to your post! :)
 

DogFashionDisco

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2005
Messages
296
Reaction score
0
Nexus Polaris said:
You have to modify it, man. If you don't learn to adapt, you won't get what you want. Adaptability is an alpha trait anyway.

I'm the same way. I spend a lot of time alone because I enjoy my own company. But I also have a circle of friends that I hang out with when I want to be social. I can still do both. I just had to strike a balance.

But realistically, if you don't enjoy being social with people, you won't enjoy being social with women either. Since women are people. Instead, you'll sit there bored and annoyed and waiting for sex which you won't get.
Not every woman is a carbon copy of Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex in the City.



There are hermit girls out there, you just have to look.

But not online...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

young_gun

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
556
Reaction score
9
Don't you have friends from college / high school you can go out with?
 

NickSCFC2000

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2007
Messages
218
Reaction score
1
Think that's what I'm after DogFashionDisco, a girl who doesn't have many friends. They're alot more interesting than girls who have nothing in life but their job and getting drunk with the girls every night/
 

JackBauer24

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2007
Messages
105
Reaction score
4
Maybe I'm generalizing, but to most women, at least in the 18-30 range, their social life is their identity, even UGs and fatties. I suppose you could eventually find an UG or fattie that isn't social, but I can't think of an attractive girl I've known that accepted the fact that I'm a homebody, let alone lived a lifestyle similar to mine.
 

knglerxt

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Location
South Carolina
young_gun said:
Don't you have friends from college / high school you can go out with?

I was a loner in high school, too. Plus, I graduated 8 years ago. I don't even live in the same town I went to school in.
 

knglerxt

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Location
South Carolina
JackBauer24 said:
I suppose you could eventually find an UG or fattie that isn't social,
That's not going to work. I like attractive women. I'd rather be alone than to be with someone I'm not attracted to. Not to sound arrogant, but I'm not an ugly guy by any means. If some of the guys I see can get with attractive women, I shouldn't have to settle for a girl I don't really like. Of course, it's not all about looks, but you see what I'm getting at.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

knglerxt

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
0
Age
45
Location
South Carolina
Nexus Polaris said:
But realistically, if you don't enjoy being social with people, you won't enjoy being social with women either. Since women are people. Instead, you'll sit there bored and annoyed and waiting for sex which you won't get.

I think I could make an exception for a woman. Sex isn't the only reason, but it's definitely the main reason. I think that's the case for most guys, though. Why else would guys pursue women if not for sex? That's the main motivating factor. If you take sex out of the equation, you're just friends. Nothing more. You could just have a bunch of guy friends and be done with it. Of course, that's not going to fly for most guys for the aforementioned reason.
 

JackBauer24

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2007
Messages
105
Reaction score
4
knglerxt said:
That's not going to work. I like attractive women. I'd rather be alone than to be with someone I'm not attracted to. Not to sound arrogant, but I'm not an ugly guy by any means. If some of the guys I see can get with attractive women, I shouldn't have to settle for a girl I don't really like. Of course, it's not all about looks, but you see what I'm getting at.
Yeah, you sound just like me man.
 

Nygard

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2007
Messages
463
Reaction score
12
Location
Medellin - Colombia
I completly get you. I used to be a loner, and I enjoyed it. However, you'll see you'll enjoy the most of your time if you're with somebody else, or a group. Give it a try. And i'm not one of those "Ha, I get laid every 15 minutes" guy, i barely meet any woman because i'm like the anthitesis of what a woman is looking for in a relationship. But as i've seen,. the best you can do right now is try to be more sociable.
 

young_gun

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2004
Messages
556
Reaction score
9
I used to go out to dance clubs by myself. It forced me to get to know other people there. It pushed my comfort zone TO THE MAX.

If you have a hobby (an actual cool hobby) join a group. You'll get to know a lot of people like yourself that have the same interests. I know you don't want the whole "circle of friends", but I really don't see why not. Your friends will introduce you to new girls, and it's so much more fun to go out with friends to meet women. Plus, I guarantee at least one of them will teach you a thing or two about picking up girls. Personally, I've made friends with guys who are DAMN GOOD with girls, and they have taught me A LOT.
 
Top