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odd situtatoin wtih old F-buddy

backbreaker

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There was a girl that I used to post about that I mentioned that was married and we were sleeping together.

Okay here's what's going on...

It's been around a month since the last time we had sex. We don't see each other anywhere near as much, maybe once a week. She does have kids, a job and lives 40 mintues away from me and is married, so I can understand that it might not be the most convenient thing on earth to come and see me and I mean, it is just sex.

however, I am keen to lend a helping hand. 2 months ago, she and her husband had a falling out and I let her stay with me for around a week until she got her **** taken care of. I also was going to pull some strings to help her get a pretty nice job.

Monday I found out that her and her husband filed for divorice earlier that day.

here is where it gets wacky. Me and her get together and have sex. That's what we do. Her job is literarly 1 mintue away from my condo. So usually, she gets off like at 1:30 in the morning, she comes over my house, we go at it, and she gets home before her husband wakes up. I know they are in some fiancial trouble and I know she is working double shifts now so I don't ask anywhere near as much becuase I know shes tired.

So last night I call her to see what's going on and to see how work was going. She sound pissy and I knew she was having a bad day. She asked did I have female company, which at the time I did, so I said yes. So she tells me she wouldn't mind going out for drinks later tonight or just hanging out so to call her when my company leaves, which basically means she wants to ****.

So I pop in Kill Bill (never seen it) and half way thought the movie she calls me and so I ask her what time is she coming over. She then tells me she is too tired to come over and needs to go home and wash her work clothes becuase she has to be back at 10am, which I know is all true, plus she wanted to see her kids. So I leave it at that and tell her to take care, I was kinda tired anyway.

So when she gets off of work, I call her to tell her that she can stay the night at my house since she has to be at work in the morning, and she can use my washer and dryer (she does this from time to time when she is too tired to drive home; her husband actually knows me and is cool with it, he just dosn't know I have had sex with his wife more int he last 4 months then he has) She then tells me she is not going home, she is going over her friend Aaron's house (a girl). I ask why? She then says that alot of **** just happend and she doens't want to go home.

I tell her you could just come over here... She isn't staying with me, and it wouldn't be the first time you came to me when you and your husband had a falling out. Turns out that while she was driving home her and her husband had a convo about him finering another women.

She then tells me to stop being so ****ing shelfish.

I told her, in a very calm voice, never to curse at me again, espically given the fact that I never cursed at you and I am not raising my voice.

She then tells me that I need to shut the **** up and that I am not one of my "sluts" that I have over my house all the time and I can't talk to her anyway like that.

I told her she was the one disrespecting me, not the other way around. I am sorry about your husband and all, I really am, but I am trying to do what I can.

She then tells me that it has nothing to do with me, but she has alot of **** in her life that she needs to take care of. So I tell her to come over so we can talk about what's going on (happy=sex, angery, sad, confused=no sex).

I then tell her that ovbiously something is wrong becuase she has been somewhat advoiding me the last 3 weeks. We see each other, but 2 months ago I had to literarly kick her out of my house.

I wasn't mad or accusing her of any thing, just stating the ovbious that something has happened to where she feels she doesn't want to see me as much any more. Granted, I have other girls over my house, and also granted that I know she is working more, but still my gut tells me it's different. I tell her that if she doesn't want to have sex any more , just let me know so I won't watse my time.

I then tell her that she is really disrespecting me giving the cirsumstances.

She then tells me "what have you done for me to respect you"... (Besides give you a place to stay when times where hard, help you get on your feet and **** your bains out when necessary, and even hooked her husband up with my ex when they were seperated, I guess nothing)

She tells me she doesn't want to have anything to do with me because "it's all about me" and hung up the phone in my face.

After calming down, I decided just to go ahead and watch Kill Bill vol 2 and call it a night. She is giong though a divorice and is emotional. I can get sex from other people, so her she is walking a tight rope to begin with.

I figure if she doesn't call to apologize and then **** me thoroguhly afterwards, **** it.
 

jiro77

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I am not sure where you stand in this situation right now, but her having a bad day, and the emotional state she was in is probably what caused your altercation. Your best bet is just to stay away and not talk to her when she's having a bad day. If you assiociate with her when she's having negative feelings, she'll also assiociate those same feelings with you even though you had nothing to do with what caused them. Your best bet is just to disappear during this type of emotional state...you want to be around her when she's more stable. This isn't the best situation to be in with all the drama involved. Do you really want to deal with that?...I'd hope for the best, but expect the worst.

Also with her emotional state, this is maybe why she might have wanted to go over to her friends house instead of yours...
 

urbanwhite

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You're in a mess. You're too emotionally involved with a married woman and she's using you. I'd get out of this situation ASAP and stay away from married women.
 

backbreaker

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i think the fact that she was married had little to do with it. She just has baggage.

thinking about it, I probably wont' keep her around, it's just not worth it.
 

urbanwhite

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Accordind to your own post it was worth it. You let yourself be her 'slut' and emotional tampon just for some sex. You made the post, I didn't.
 

christz

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i would never involve myself in a sutaiton where i'm haveing sex with somebody else's g/f / wife

the guilt trip it would give me would be way to much to bear i'm not a ***** but i would feel like total **** if that was happening behind my back.
 
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Originally posted by christz
i would never involve myself in a sutaiton where i'm haveing sex with somebody else's g/f / wife

the guilt trip it would give me would be way to much to bear i'm not a ***** but i would feel like total **** if that was happening behind my back.
id enjoy it, id just make sure to wear a condom every damn time.
 

Maverick001

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Originally posted by urbanwhite
You're in a mess. You're too emotionally involved with a married woman and she's using you. I'd get out of this situation ASAP and stay away from married women.
Ditto.
 

backbreaker

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First, she's not married anymore.

IF it's sex and only sex, why should I stay away. If you read the post I made 3 months ago, everyone pretty much aggreed I did nothing wrong, she practially threw herself at me
 

urbanwhite

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But you began your relationship with her while she was married. She had more than just baggage. She had a husband and KIDS. If you want to find people to validate your screwed up actions then that's your business.
 

backbreaker

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weather or not I was morally right isn't up for discussion... different people have different viewpoints.

Mine is, they were heading for a divorice WELL before I was invloved. Me not being in the picture changes nothing whatsoever.
So don't give me a g uilt trip about being morally wrong for sleepign with a married women. Under the cicumstances, I don't think I did anything wrong.
 

backbreaker

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urbanwhite, did you even bother to read the post?

I don't give a damn about feeling guilty because I don't whatsoever. Hell, me, this chick, my current GF and this girls Husband went on a double date around 2 motnhs ago and he slipped my Girl his cell phone number while I wasn't looking. **** him, the dude can't hold his own and can't keep his woman under control, why should I suffer when she literary throws herself at me?

The only reason I made this post, is simply because thinking what happened last night on the phone with her, I don't think where i necessary did anything wrong, but at the same time, I can see how she could be upset. I'd be lying if I said I asn't trying to have sex with her, and that is being shelfish when this girl is going though a divorice (although I didn't tell her that).

However, the way she clicked on me was uncalled for.

My plan of action was to wait and see if she calls and apologizes for what happened. If she does, keep her around and if she doesn't, just move on. I wanted to get you guys advice about that plan of action.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by backbreaker
After calming down, I decided just to go ahead and watch Kill Bill vol 2 and call it a night.
Kill Bill vol 2 was a let-down after vol 1. Hell of a way to end a great night. :p

As you can see, I'm not responding to the initial problem...because I believe that you've responded to it well enough and now is the time to do exactly what you're doing...say "FVCK it" and get on with your life. She's just an f-buddy.

Don't get sucked into an AFC mentality because she decides to throw a hissy. BIG mistake a lot of guys make...when the woman pulls back or starts acting all emotional/out of control, the chump scrambles to figure out what's wrong and how he can make it better. And loses respect because of it.

Just shrug it off as bad behavior. These are HER issues and she IS disrespecting you by trying to dump them on you and/or make you feel responsible.

Lay off for a while. If she wants the c@ck again, she knows where to find it. ;)
 

Porky

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I don't read that Backbreaker is emotionally involved as anything more than a friend.

honestly, he offers to help her out with her problems - I would do the same for any of my female friends who I'm NOT having sex with.

Moral problems aside, why should he give up? He's getting sex from her, and there is absolutely no reason for him to give that up. Since it's just casual sex, he should put forth the extra effort to keep her in the picture.
 

djbr

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If you're not involved, why you're thinking about it so much?

If it is just sex, why can't you find another women? They are literally everywhere, and many of them wants the same thing that you do!!

Why do you have to go so far just for sex? Man, you're now dealing with HER DIVORCE!

Get out FAST. Being just sex doesn't mean it can't be BIG TROUBLE FOR YOU.
 

Hollowpoint

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FFS, don't you hate it when you are dealing with a woman, she gets mad about something, doesn't have to be related to you, and suddenly all the good things you did for her suddenly evaporate?

I am so jaded.....
 

backbreaker

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Originally posted by Porky
I don't read that Backbreaker is emotionally involved as anything more than a friend.

honestly, he offers to help her out with her problems - I would do the same for any of my female friends who I'm NOT having sex with.

Moral problems aside, why should he give up? He's getting sex from her, and there is absolutely no reason for him to give that up. Since it's just casual sex, he should put forth the extra effort to keep her in the picture.
my point exactly. In hindsight, I could have handled the situation better. I was thinking about having sex while this girl is over here crying because of somethign her husband did and she called me on it. H owever, I am not sorry, she knows whenever I call, it's about sex so she didn't have to pick up the phone.
 
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