"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Odd scenario

volkme68

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So apparently my roommate's gf has been trying to set me up with a girl she knows. (I just found this out) I went out with the girl once prior, it was a successful date, high interest on her part. (Did not know we knew people in common)

Date two comes around, we meet and almost immediately gets a call about a emergency, and had to go. I got busy and never really pursued again. By the time things settled, she was seeing someone, so we were kinda friends. Not much contact really. text here and there

Well apparently she was single again, so roommate's gf decided to play matchmaker. Starts selling me to this girl. Her response, "should have told me sooner. I am kinda seeing someone now. maybe"

Now if a girl said this to me it'd be an immediate next. Question is does it mean the same thing when a girl says that to another girl? The girl is aware that I have no idea this matchmaking has been going on, so that isn't a factor. Although, it is pretty AFCish for a guy to get set up like this.



Thoughts?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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j0n24

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I am kinda seeing someone now maybe?

What the hell does that even mean, is that word for word what she said??

I think you might have a shot...IF this is word for word what she said then "Kinda," An "maybe," Are big indicators that she still hasnt figured out if the guy shes with is worth it or not.

Since your friend or whatever is playing matchmaking for you then you should set up a date through her and see what happens.

Tell your friend to tell her that you have no idea what the hell "Im kinda seeing someone right now maybe," Means and set up a date that you want to see her at this place at this time and whatever happens happens.

Fastest way to see if she likes you or not..if not then well forget about her ...maybe hahah.

good luck and updates on what you do :D.
 

volkme68

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yeah she showed me the text.haha except there was a period between now and maybe.

and as far as the friend set up thing, I think it comes off AFCish to let her do it. I still have the girls number, should I just ask her myself?
 

j0n24

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Why would it look afcish?? She has been talking about you behind your back already trying to hook you up so who cares?

I would just say if you have a party or going to be somwhere with a few people to tell your friend ot tell the target you were going to be there at this time and if she wanted to hang with you to be there. Simples as that.

Then again you can just call her up and make it obvious that you like her even though she rejected you already and is playing games now ...but to each his own..

good luck and keep updating :D.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Just a Shot Away

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She probably doesn't want to look like a slut to her friend so she downgraded what she REALLY has been doing (getting DPed and subsequently taking both loads on the face) to a much cleaner scenario (kinda seeing someone.) I guess it depends on how bad you want this chick.
 

volkme68

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I was gonna update sooner, but I maxed out my posts. She texted me this morning saying that my buddy's gf kept trying to set me up. Telling her how good we would be for each other, etc. I laughed and told HB that my buddy's gf seemed into her she should hurry up and make a move.

she replied back with something like yeah seems she is on team jake (my name). I told her "I told you before, its all about team Jacob". She told replied, "why yes you did, guess I needed some convincing." I'm out of town this week, and she told me she already has plans with this other guy this coming weekend anyway, but we got a time/date set to hang out when I get back.
 

BritBoy

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No no no mate!!! Low interest level alert!! She's either hasn't got the guts (or too weak) to tell you, or your matchmaking friend to back off (if you or your friend confront her she'll probably say something like 'I'm only being polite and want to protect your (and your matchmaker's) feeling') or just stringing you along (spinning plates?!)

'Just A Shot Away' might be cynical but he's probably spot on with this.

You'd better move on I reckon.
 

volkme68

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BritBoy said:
No no no mate!!! Low interest level alert!! She's either hasn't got the guts (or too weak) to tell you, or your matchmaking friend to back off (if you or your friend confront her she'll probably say something like 'I'm only being polite and want to protect your (and your matchmaker's) feeling') or just stringing you along (spinning plates?!)

'Just A Shot Away' might be cynical but he's probably spot on with this.

You'd better move on I reckon.

She texted me, and i told my friend to back off last night anyway. why do you say low interest? to me, texting first is a IOI. and a date is a date, not like its a real loss for me.
 

BritBoy

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Well I'm only reading between the (your) lines, I thought with her text she might just be complaining about your friend's constant matchmaking, and hell, she might even think you are the one who instigates it. And your reply 'you should have been on team Jacob' might have confirmed that to her. Hence her reply 'need convincing' and 'I'm seeing some other guy this weekend' as a throw back, to put some distance back between you two.

I think she is at best spinning plates herself. She probably thinks you have higher interest level in her than her in you already (rightly or wrongly).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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