Objective: The Quality Man Question!

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops!


SALUTE!:rockon:

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted, because I’ve been away on maneuvers------some MORE exciting than others, but still my mission CONTINUES.

So welcome to my shortest thread-----EVER.

Much is said here, and on other forums about the rarity of “quality women”, “good women”, “worthy women”, or any other descriptive terminology you would use to describe a woman YOU would consider WORTH being with EXCLUSIVELY.

I happen to share in the belief that finding these women----these women that have my most sought after, and desired attributes, these women who are also both available FOR me, and compatible enough WITH me has been a rare occurrence indeed.

But here’s my 2-part question to all of you soldiers on here:

• As a MAN, do you really think that YOU are a “quality man”, a “good man”, or a “worthy man” YOURSELF???
• And if so, WHY do you think that you ARE?

I’m interested in hearing how you men would HONESTLY answer these two questions.


Discuss!

 

[penkitten]

20 views with no responses?
everyone chime in and share a little.

 

[synergy1]

As a MAN, do you really think that YOU are a “quality man”, a “good man”, or a “worthy man” YOURSELF???

I believe I am a quality individual.

And if so, WHY do you think that you ARE?

I believe a quality person is someone who embraces who they are and continues to strive to improve themselves, and make everyone else around them better as well. Quality doesn't imply perfection, obviously, but it does imply a genuine effort to try to excel in any endeavors they chose to pursue. This is my definition, and I am sure many would disagree.

In short I like who I am. Sometimes I am rude, obnoxious and arrogant, but still embrace the good with the bad. I have always been an advocate of improvement, and its evident in my college background both academically, and physically. I am no doctor or pro athlete, but I continue to challenge myself in both regards to improve. Another thing I pride myself in is surrounding myself with people who I perceive to be quality individuals. In turn, I try to bring something to my social groups and keep all the good friends I have.

Am I a quality person? In some peoples eyes, no. In my own, sure. Most of my friends would agree with me though At the end of the day, all that matters is what you think about yourself.

 

[Trader]

Yo Troops!


SALUTE!:rockon:

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted, because I’ve been away on maneuvers------some MORE exciting than others, but still my mission CONTINUES.

So welcome to my shortest thread-----EVER.

Much is said here, and on other forums about the rarity of “quality women”, “good women”, “worthy women”, or any other descriptive terminology you would use to describe a woman YOU would consider WORTH being with EXCLUSIVELY.

I happen to share in the belief that finding these women----these women that have my most sought after, and desired attributes, these women who are also both available FOR me, and compatible enough WITH me has been a rare occurrence indeed.

But here’s my 2-part question to all of you soldiers on here:

• As a MAN, do you really think that YOU are a “quality man”, a “good man”, or a “worthy man” YOURSELF???
• And if so, WHY do you think that you ARE?

I’m interested in hearing how you men would HONESTLY answer these two questions.


Discuss!

This is a great subject.

There is too much complaining about girls and talking about 'finding a high quality girl.'

The focus for us should be on being a man and how to 'man up.' Take care of that and the girls you get will naturally be high quality.

Of course I think I am a 'worthy man' - the reason why is because every day, in everything I do, I am working towards that ideal.

We all know the qualities of the ideal man - they are UNIVERSAL

Bravery

Courage

Confidence

Self-Control

Determination

Decisiveness

Activity (i.e. being hard-working, taking action quickly to solve a problem)

Strength (physical and mental)

Acceptance of Responsibility

Patience

Morals and Conviction

Self-Reliance (financially, emotionally)


Looking back at my problems with girls - the problem wasn't with the girl, it was with me. So I started to focus on myself and work towards that ideal of 'Man.' Pook put it best: "Just because you have a d*ck, doesn't automatically mean you are a man."

Once I strove to improve myself - the high quality girls came. And I actually ended up getting the class flower (Chinese term - the cutest girl in the class)

 

[RecoveringAFC]

My list includes the following:
- Financially stable with no debt and decent savings
- Self Reliant
- Calm
- Intelligent
- Well Read
- Well Travelled
- Patience of a saint
- Hard working
- Goal Oriented and get what I achieve
- An awesome kisser (so I've been told)
- Live in a nice place
- Have a good but not flashy car

 

[Victory Unlimited]

There is always a "conspicuousness" in silence.

In light of some of So Suave's current postings, and in reference to recent skirmishes within the ranks that have taken place on this particular forum, I have made the decision to "surface" THIS thread.

Much is said on here, and in other places about the IMPORTANCE of qualifying others (WOMEN especially), before we allow them entrance into our lives.

But, again, what I have noticed recently in internet life AND in "real life" is a variation of flinching, bluffing, shyt-talking-----OR, just plain a COWARDLY "turning away" from the kind of self reflection NEEDED for men to deliberately advance forward in their relationships with women.

What makes YOU "qualified" to feel like you should be successful out here in this Relationship War?

What mutherfukking medals, stars, or stripes do YOU use to measure YOURSELF as deserving of the title "Man of DISTINCTION"?

Or, are you not really one of the few, the proud, and the brave...but maybe just a beggar, whiner, or a loser who takes COMFORT in his perrenial sense of LOSS.

Which is it?

Dare you EVEN ask?

I, personally, have found that whenever I am HALF as observant, critical, and TRUTHFUL about my OWN holistic value as I am of the women that I meet-----then I immediately CREATE a new opportunity to GROW, to RE-ADJUST, or to CHANGE in some beneficial way------in some form or another---and "EXPONENTIALLY" so.

It's always easy to blame the girls, the women, the babes, or the BYTCHES(and yes...there are MANY) for lacking some quality of worthiness we're looking for...but how many of "us" are willing to call our OURSELVES out on our OWN bullshyt?

And I mean this not necessarily in a condemning way, but rather, in a way that inspires us to make the necessary adjustments that we need to BETTER ourselves.

Do you see what I'm getting at, troops?

Isn't it about time we started doing less finger-pointing and MORE skill sharpening?

I have found that the more I "train"...the less I "blame".

Is this NOT a path worthy of traveling, men?

Is this NOT what a large part of what being "mature men" is all about?

Check the tiny cracks on the face of those "real life" watches you're wearing, soldiers....

...because it's TOO LATE in the motherfukkin' day for bullshying ourselves.

So again I ask of you the SAME two questions:

As a MAN, do you really think that YOU are a “quality man”, a “good man”, or a “worthy man” YOURSELF???

And if so, WHY do you think that you ARE?

And remember, for those who choose NOT to chime in and answer these questions for BULLSHYT reasons...then, as I have also already stated at the top of this very post...

There is always a "conspicuousness" in SILENCE.


Soldier on!

VU

 

[Warrior74]

Good thread.

I'll say this. I know where I'm lacking and what I'm doing about it. Self reflection sometimes only comes on the heels of massive failure. At least for me it did. I know what I'm responsible for and how my actions have gotten me to where I am. And I know where I want to go and what I need to do to get there.

That alone makes me quality in my own eyes. I stopped blaming everyone else and started making things happen for myself.

 

[backbreaker]

see.. he says it and it's a great thread. I say the exact same damn thing.. what the hell do YOU bring to the table to desere the high quality peices of asss they you want, and "you are qualifying yourself" and "she would dump you, blah blah balh, i'm a fat lazy loser, blah blah.."

 

[Warrior74]

it ain't what you say son. its how you say it.

and your thread will probably come off as bragging to those with lower self esteem. At the end of the day I'm not going to write a list in either thread of why I am quality. I'll tell you about my mindstate and if your smart you can figure it out.

 

[thedeparted]

Actually, this thread stucks. Making a long list of why you're a quality man won't help you at all with a woman. You need to use the established techniques. The biggest losers in the world can walk away with -- and keep -- the hottest women. It has nothing to do with anything on these long lists of what makes a quality man. It has everything to do with how those guys make her feel. So don't waste your time on threads like this, Victory.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

All...

This thread is not necessarily meant to be used as a catalyst to generate lists of accomplishments or even excuses for a perceived lack of accomplishments.

Rather, my main motivation is to use it to point out that "realistically", in MY opinion, most of us would be much better off giving more attention to why we get the outcomes that we get.

For some, the outcomes are mostly positive. While for others, the outcomes are so obviously negative-----as it is readily seen in how it sets the themes that we stress in our posts. Sure, there are certain things that are beyond our control when it comes to interacting with women, like:

"What kind of woman IS she?"

That shyt is definitey OUT of our control.

But what IS in our control (for the most part) is "What kind of man AM I-----regardless of what kind of woman SHE is?"

I believe, and I know that it's a belief that's in the minority opinion on this forum, that a man has little right to expect his woman to be of a higher character, integrity, loyalty, or respect-level than "HE" is. And because I hold that particular belief, it would be disingenious of me to EVER hold a woman to a higher standard than I hold myself.

But also, let's not get it twisted:

I do, and will ALWAYS, hold a woman (everybody else that I come in CLOSE contact with) to the standards of respect and value that I show towards them.

So...to answer my OWN questions.

I believe I am a man who recognizes his imperfections, refuses to make nonstop excuses for his fukk ups, and KEEPS that shyt in mind when I'm dealing with the women I meet. No, I'm not always hitting the mark----but I do keep aiming for the goddamned target.

"I" find there is a value in this attitude----for me.

And for those women that SHARE my desire to not necessarily strive be "perfect", or some other unrealistically unattainable goal-----but to instead always strive to cultivate and KEEP a good attitude in regards to ULTIMATELY experiencing good relationship outcomes...then I am surely a man with the kinds of qualities that would be worth her time getting to know.

But if these things are NOT of primary interest to her...then we are better off FAR apart.

I've had enough pusssy to know that the NEXT one I'll be getting will probably be far more the SAME than it'll be different. This is where MUTUAL standards and qualifications come in.

It is more important to ME these days to not necessarily attract women----but to attract the women "I" want. And not by trying to please her, but by being the kind of man that is pleasing to himself. And I've found that the women who connect with me when I'm in THIS state of mind and attitude are always better for my life than the others.

For me...when babe-shyt is NOT going right is when I face the greatest temptation to start doing more BLAMING, when I should instead be investing my time in doing more internal TRAINING. And I must admit, yes----the shyt gets hard sometimes.

But the trick for me has been to HOLD THE LINE----and to not allow my temporary, unfavorable perceptions of male/female relationships to cloud my long term view of possible, more favorable male/female relationships that may await me in the future.

So, in a sense, this thread is a way of asking other men if there is any value in THEM taking a survey of their own attitudes.

Because it could very well be that some of our ATTITUDES may be the very things that are blocking our way------as we fight to gain more victory in our lives in the area of women.


Peace...one day.

 

[Radharc]

Interesting topic this one, I´ve been thinking about this kind of questions a lot lately and I can say some points are getting clearer to me:

1) "Quality man" is not a monolithic standard in some aspects, I mean, to me is more about your own inner standars, what do you want in life, your values, becoming the best possible version of yourself and in that fullfilling your own "nature", this has a lot to do with introspection and knowing yourself, the problem with humans is that we have free will, we make choices, we create social models in which we try to have the best possible collective existence. From a biological perspective mostly, the biological imperatives are omni-present even if a lot of ppl are too numb to notice it. What i´m getting at here is something like this: lets imagine an orange tree and an apple tree, they both are trees, but they have different natures in the sense that one produces oranges and the other apples, expecting an orange tree to produce apples would be foolish, and the orange tree would be likely to become quite frustrated and possibly neurotic. Of course plants and animals have it easy, they are not faced with multiple choices regarding the fullfilling of their own nature as we are - this is why knowing yourself and where you stand in life is crucial regarding the possibility of becoming "who you are meant to be" (cliche, i know).

2)I believe this possibility takes into account mostly two factors: biological imperatives and social conditioning. The biological imperatives aspect set in place standards that are mostly objective and "monolithic": reproduction, guaranteeing resources, protection of the group, balanced social models that allow and ensure this are an outcome. Here intelligence and culture come into play, a deeper grasp of reality and its multiple variables and contradictions requires coping methods, here symbolic and religious functions, values, come into play as essencial adaptative tools, to ignore this is a bad investment in evolutionary terms. Conclusion: some standards of what a quality men is are pretty straight forward: being able to provide for your family, able to protect them, to lead them.
Other standards are a lot more subjective and have more to do with social conditioning, like... some basic example: i might be a more discreet person and have a non flashy car, or a ****y person and have flashy car, this to me as nothing to do with being a quality men but with personal inclination.

3) This leads me to the notion that you should live by your own personal standards (provided the biological imperative factors are accounted for) and not by someone elses standard - that is women; seems much more sensible to me to live on your own terms, and that will naturally attract the "right" kind of women for you, instead if you try to remake yourself by some standards that are social stereotypical measures of sucess to attract women that might bring you success on that department but it will become a full time job of yours to wear that "mask" and be that persona. This is also about optimization, playing on your strenghts and minimizing your shortcomings, finding the environments that suit you the best. If you have your sh1t together women will come as consequence, getting out of your way to attract women is not a good option: 1)they become the center of your existence and hold to much power regarding your personal validation 2)you are a lot more likely to not have your sh1t together and that mostly is a recipe to long term failure with women.

I´m likely not saying anything new here, but i´m just writing this from the top of my head. This all being said i feel i have some areas where i need to work on some self improvement, I need to create a more stable financial situation for me, and creating a stronger mental frame regarding what is a high quality women, being more selective, controlling the frame and not being controlled by it - this after an history of crash and burns relationship-wise.

 

[SXS]

As a MAN, do you really think that YOU are a “quality man”, a “good man”, or a “worthy man” YOURSELF???
And if so, WHY do you think that you ARE?

That depends on who is looking. I am a quality man, a good man, for myself. I do everything for me, my indepence and confort and happyness. As far as a woman is concerned, I coudnt care less, as I dont try to look at myself with other peoples eyes.

 

[Duffdog]

This thread kind of sucks. It makes no difference whatsoever what a man thinks of himself in terms of what a female wants. The only thing that matters is whether or not what you ARE aligns with what she WANTS...I can think anything I would like about myself, but I still won't get the 10 I am looking for with any amount of self reflection.

No matter how good you think you are, it will be very humbling if you attempt to go for females who are outside of your social strata and constantly get rejected because you aren't what you think you are. It sort of reminds me of little guys who act very tough and confrontational to attract attention. Its all good to think of yourself as superman until a real superman comes along and stomps you back to where you should be. In short, realizing ones true position in the world is both very helpful and eye opening. It allows one to see just what they should be doing and not aiming for things which are completely out of their reach.

And here is another thing which bothers me. I have never seen a really hot girl actually respect an average guy they were dating. Regardless of what you may read on stupid websites, complete losers don't actually get hot girls, the girls are with those guys because they don't have to respect them. The girl can replace the guy in a minute, but the guy has no hope of scoring another girl as hot as her. The girl knows this, and uses this fact to do whatever the fvck she wants behind his back because there will be no consequences for her. This is known as being a cuckold. Look that up. I find it interesting that that term is not thrown around more on this site because that is what I feel is the dirty little secret of the seduction community. Here is something interesting I might add, when I see a hot girl with an average guy or loser, I know intrinsically that I can approach her because he is not going to say or do sh1t...sometimes I am even guilty of looking for that situation and laughing a little on the inside because I know I could have her in a few seconds if I wanted.

Yeah, great, you scored a hottie because of your "game", but she is fvcking some hot guy you don't know about and using you for emotional validation...yet you can't see it because you believe it was your "game" that got her. It kind of makes me sad actually, knowing that 3 of the hot girls I am fvcking are upstanding "quality" females with boyfriends who actually believe the stories and bs these girls make up to sustain their relationships.

I for one do not believe that I am a quality guy, yet for some reason the females do. I am not nice, I am not considerate and am highly calculating and confrontational. I went to a club last night with the specific intent to show off my body-in-progress (I almost have a 6 pack now) and was surprised at just how superficial girls are on the inside. Sure I got lots of attention and compliments and blah, blah, blah...but the real shock came when I spotted two 10's at the bar. They were rejecting absolutely every guy I saw in the bar! I wondered to myself what type of guy gets these girls until I saw with my own eyes who they chose. The guy they chose was ridiculous-- he was like 6'8" and probably wieghed 305. Keep in mind that I am 6'2" and wiegh 230 and I was so surprised that there was even a person like that in the whole club. I immediately thought about the concept of "quality guy" and decided that there is really no use in trying to inflate ones ego to the point where they actually believe that they are a 10 when they are not. All that needs to happen is for a real 10 to show up and then you are screwed. This happens with females ALL the time, especially when I would be out dancing. A 6 or 7 will be dancing with me until an 8 or 9 comes along and ruthlessly tells the other less attractive girl to 'get lost' with nothing more than a look. How devastating that must feel I can't imagine, but as a male, it probably would suck even more to know that with all your internal rectification and self-esteem padding, its only a matter of time until she is taken from you.

It is slightly disheartening to know that yes, females will talk to you and listen to what you have to say and participate in all the dialogue you put forth and even cooperate with your advances...unless...they know inside that they can get something better and they are just using you for a distraction. I strongly feel that mankind is developing into a caste system, where there are those who are genetically lucky and will have tons of options to reproduce and those who are not lucky and will have to settle for whatever they can get...or...not reproduce at all because they are dead ends.

 

[SXS]

The guy they chose was ridiculous-- he was like 6'8" and probably wieghed 305. Keep in mind that I am 6'2" and wiegh 230 and I was so surprised that there was even a person like that in the whole club.

6'8" and 305 ? There were giants in the club ?

 

[Duffdog]

6'8" and 305 ? There were giants in the club ?

Well, this guy ducked to get through the doorframe and into the club. I guess you could call him a giant.

 

[SXS]

How did he react when you were measuring his body weigh ? Cause I would be pretty pissed...

 

[Duffdog]

How did he react when you were measuring his body weigh ? Cause I would be pretty pissed...

?wtf?

 

[game.r]

duffdog

You seem entirely too concerned with your physical self. When i see a guy in a club in a tight shirt with the sole purpose of showing off his body, i always think loser. But Maybe that's because i'm not from the US. Most guys don't behave like that here and the ones that do don't get all the hot girls.

 

[Zonder]

It makes no difference whatsoever what a man thinks of himself in terms of what a female wants.

This is a great thread. It is not about what a female wants. It's about how and if the man objectively assesses himself in relation to society. Then that assessment can be used for self-improvement that will result in success. It was clearly prompted by keyboard jockeys who keep making posts about how there are no quality women when they have absolutely nothing that could attract one. Your post is spot on in so many ways.

Men need to realize that refusing to accept who they are and how society works can be extremely damaging to them both in the short and in the long run.

Making a long list of why you're a quality man won't help you at all with a woman. You need to use the established techniques. The biggest losers in the world can walk away with -- and keep -- the hottest women.

You might be able to walk away with hot women but you can't keep them for long. If the woman has a good personality to go with the looks something terrible for you will happen at some point. She will meet a real man. None of your glorified techniques will help you then. A giant might be enough too.