Objective: The Infinity Gauntlet: Why you fight WARS WITHOUT END!

[Rudra]

i agree.

+1
Got all his posts in a separate file on my desktop. The stuff we need. Keep going, VU.

 

[danny62]

Another GREAT post. Thanks VU.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

YO JOE!

That quote would have been great if it were a reference to G.I. Joe.

This was an excellent post. We citizens men for thinking all women are the same, but it's hard to break away from that mode of thought. I've sat around with older, married men who discussed their wives. It was like they were married to the same woman, finishing each other sentences about their wives and everything.

I became fully aware that I was developing that way of thinking too. What I try to do now is focus on what I liked about a woman - and think I will eventually meet a woman with that trait again, minus the negative aspect of her personality that divided us. So far, I have a list of traits I must have... but I've made sure to make it a short list.

 

[Interceptor]

Bombs away, gentlemen.

get ready for the shockwaves.........

 

[afrojiggles]

good stuff man

 

[LovelyLady]

Bump

 

[reset]

Committing Premature Evacuation

These types of reckless recruiters are the strangest and saddest of all. These are men who actually know who they are and what they want. Their Achilles heel is exposed only AFTER they have actually found a woman who may be of good quality. These men say all the right things and make all the right moves, but when they finally have the heart of their ideal woman in site, they fail to pull the trigger.

These men are skilled in the deadly art of self-sabotage. What they experience is the male version of last minute resistance. Except, unlike women, following through with sex is not the problem, but following through with establishing a meaningful, emotional, and spiritual connection with a woman IS.

On the verge of allowing themselves to become truly intimate with a woman, they allow their minds to be bombarded by the plethora of negative voices that they've heard in the past. They let things like their age, their financial situation, their past, their hormones, their fears, their friends, and embittered posters on seduction forums STOP them from taking that one more step that COULD make a positive difference in their lives.

I thought I had this down last time I read it. :box:

This happened to me recently when I was really hitting it off with the girl. Things were going great and as it progressed I had these same BS thoughts take me out of the moment: my age, how much money I make, what my living situation was, and all the "game" I've learned which was forcing me to look for IOI's instead of being in the moment with the girl. It's like I couldn't accept that she wanted to be there with ME. I was looking at her like a science experiment when before it was just the two of us being cool together.

I think a lot of what I have learned has helped, but at the same time a lot of the stuff I've learned has taken me out of the moment and forced me to be analytical when in the presence of the woman. That doesn't bring out your true self. It turns them off.

Anyway I bumped this because the whole thread is required reading.

 

[Interceptor]

Reset, you're the best, bro.

All this is is you being aware of the 'steps' in the interaction.
You want to have a good result,so you pay attention to what you're doing.


I think one important thing to consider, is to look at those factors you entered, that in a sense, disqualify you....
...and then stop to think that this particular female IS NOT ALL THAT.
Do you see?
This female is just someone you're attracted to.

She is not perfect, nor an Angel, or Goddess.


And most women simply want a Man who is confident, relaxed, has a job, a car, goals and ambition, doesnt take drugs, has sexual confidence, and can be fun and interesting........

dude...

.......that is NOT a hard or difficult list of things to meet. This criteria, despite what people say, or women say, is usually all you really need.

be respectful.
Be masculine, and stay confident.
Be a leader.
Be in your own paradigm as much as possible, follow your dreams.
Have fun with her, until something happens where she wants to make a move 'and take you off the market'. Until then, have fun with her.
Most women are not that demanding. And are usually weirded out when men immediately start disqualifying themselves before the interaction has begun.
Women will test for confidence. And a lot of women do have the 'prove yourself to me' attitude, but you just have to rise above all that.

be confident in yourSELF
That you have VALUE in your Uniqueness.
That you are different and not perfect are good things. That you want to improve yourself and your environment is a good thing.

You are not the average Joe. And THAT IS good enough.

And that you have drive and ambition, and a desire to improve, and cultivate yourself, and your talents, is extremely important.

Ultimately, the ONE key directive every man must have and follow without deviation is to his MISSION in Life.
The Mission HE has decided for himself.

Women will either fall into line with that, or not.

And those who do not are not to be blamed, and despite the heartache , if you really loved her, simply cannot 'poke holes in your battleship'.

And if you truly resonate with only multiple casual dating partners, with varying degrees of intimacy, then do that.
Be honest to them.
Look deep into their eyes and without shame TELL them what you are truly looking for with relationships with women.
Dont be afraid or ashamed of your desires and whatyou really want.
And never apoligize for being a man, and your 'manly biological wiring.'


You're a man. She either accepts that or not.
You're this kind of man (tolerant, non judgemental, into music, adventurous, etc etc...) and that is WHO you are...

She either accepts that or not.

At best, you have the potential for a great relationship, at worst, she may be annoyed that you're so not AFC and unapologtically Masculine.

Many women actually get short circuited and sometimes uncomfortable around men who are deeeply in their masculine core.

 

[reset]

Thanks dude.

At best, you have the potential for a great relationship, at worst, she may be annoyed that you're so not AFC and unapologtically Masculine.

Many women actually get short circuited and sometimes uncomfortable around men who are deeeply in their masculine core.

This could be it. On the date I was overcompensating and maybe being a little too forward, I was indirectly moving the conversation towards sexual things (not in a weird way but just trying to vibe with her) and to her, it may have seemed too forward. I should have slowed down a little and not been in a rush to CLOSE. That's all I was thinking "close, close, make the move". But, better to do that than hesitate. It's all calibration.

In any case I stopped contact and now of course she's contacting me again, and I know how to handle this part, hang back and make her work for it.

You're totally right though. I have ingested these standards that are like a cookie-cutter, but in reality, we're not competing with anyone but ourselves. There is only one of us. I have to learn to accept my strengths and value them for what they are.

No she's not all that. There is more to life than women. They are not my salvation, my old programming says they are, but I know they are not.

I'm looking forward to my new gym membership, and doing things differently than I used to. I'm done with being a "spectator" and having life pass me by. I'm thinking the physical fitness is going to give me that extra boost and clarity that I need to be making good decisions, and to feel good just for being me.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

A curious epiphany occured to me yesterday when I re-read this thread after someone PM'd me about it:

It occured to me that as the years have gone by, the more time I spend CHANGING me for "my" BETTER, the less time I spend BLAMING women for whenever they're guilty of being "their" WORST.


PEACE...one day.


VU

 

[MrAddiction]

Bump. Think it is Time to bump some of the old stuff.

 

[sazc]

Committing Premature Evacuation
<snip>

These men are skilled in the deadly art of self-sabotage. What they experience is the male version of last minute resistance. Except, unlike women, following through with sex is not the problem, but following through with establishing a meaningful, emotional, and spiritual connection with a woman IS.

On the verge of allowing themselves to become truly intimate with a woman, they allow their minds to be bombarded by the plethora of negative voices that they've heard in the past. They let things like their age, their financial situation, their past, their hormones, their fears, their friends, and embittered posters on seduction forums STOP them from taking that one more step that COULD make a positive difference in their lives.

And even when they fight bravely through those forces of resistance, another even more formidable adversary to their embarking into emotional exclusivity with a woman emerges----their CRITICAL MINDS gone wild. Yes, soldiers, this is when these hapless men drive themselves delusional by trying to force the women in their lives to SUDDENLY meet a level of perfection that even they THEMSELVES routinely fall far short of.

</snip>

This is only for my LTR minded friends. I know you guys want love, real, loyal, love. Maybe this will slant a different angel on it, that will help. I'm not advocating against the DJ ways. DJ and find her, for sure. This may help once you think you have her.....

Establishing a meaningful, emotional and spiritual connection with a person is terrifying. This is the reason why people who seem to be enjoying your company, may go cold - fear of intimacy. I found Brene Brown informative in terms of developing a strategy on how to give people very small tests to see if they were worthy of intimacy with me. She a;so makes you realize that people who fail the intimacy test arent worth your time so dont give them a second thought, they just dont know 'how' and/or are afraid.

Never push an intimacy test prematurely, and never be afraid to do so until it's too late. You'll know when the time is right - it's that time you start to wonder "maybe...."

"Daring Greatly" is a great read.
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=brene+brown

Ted Talks
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability



https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame