Objective assessment of how you look

[EternalBachelor]

I have always been very self-conscious of how I look, and cannot stand looking at myself in the mirror as my face is still quite blotchy from acne and this shows especially under any form of bright light, and I have lots of lines from stress over the years.

Often I am feeling kind of confident and ready to DJ, but I catch an unflattering reflection of myself in the mirror and I immediately feel like crap.

However for some reason I always look fabulous in photos and on video screens, like a completely different person. My face looks entirely different and less round and more masculine and all the lines and red marks on my face do not seem to really show.

Now I have done a bit of physics and I am trying to work this out. Do mirrors give a true reflection of how you look or do they distort your features, making your face seem smaller than it is in real life or making it seem asymettrical.

Lighting obviously makes a difference as well, but is looking at yourself in a mirror with bright light a realistic reflection of how you look to other people?

Sorry if this seems all a little bit confused. I do get some attention from the girls, but my insecurities about my looks and lack of confidence in my looks definitely harms my success with girls, and a major source of these insecurities is when I look in the mirror i look like crap.

 

[Brak86]

im willing to bed you dont look bad at all. But the mind has incredible powers to make someone think they look hideous....i feel the same way as you and people tell me im pretty good looking...you can look atmy link...anyways...im just getting over the same problem as you. But remember, you are your own worst critic. Im positive that most of the people you know dont study your face like you do and im assured that they dont notice nearly as much as you do.

 

[diablo]

AE...

 

[shrewd]

I have the exact same problem. My friends tell me they didn't even notice my complexion until i started complaining about it and asking for cures, but i still obsess over it. Now, even if i do look good in some lighting, i'll assume its just the lighting that makes me look good and look until i find a mirror that i look bad in.

 

[Bonhomme]

better in real life

I look beter in real life than in photos, generally.

And look better than I did in high school, too. Thanks to a bit of bodybuilding...

 

[ketostix]

I have just the opposite problem. I think I look much better in a mirror than in photographs.

 

[M2k961]

I've been noticing and thinking about this lately.

You've all heard the expressions, "You are your own worst critic", "other people don't notice", etc. It really is true - here's why.

When you look at your face in the mirror, it's the same thing you've seen all your life. You know your face better than anyone - and you remember the best it has looked and the worst.

Each time you look at your face in the mirror you notice the things that do not make it the best you've ever looked (in your mind) - acne, wrinkles, red spots, etc.

Now, the best way to understand how people see YOU is to think about how you see OTHERS. Think about the last person you talked to. What shoes was he/she wearing? Where did he/she have acne? How was his hair?

Most likely, you won't know how to answer ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS. You know why? You look at others radically different than you look at yourself - you perceive the "whole person" rather than just concentrating on his/her pimple.

You DON'T know others faces like the back of your hand. You DON'T know what their best/worst has been and generally don't criticize.

Besides, don't we generally just give people a break for having mild acne or similar ****? I mean, it's partly not their fault, so let 'em slide.

Ever notice that people treat you exactly the same whether you have glaring pimples on your face and when you're completely clear? I have, trust me. I've gone through so many cycles of clear/bad skin to honestly say that people don't care as much as YOU make it out to be.

 

[Fenderules]

Re: better in real life

Originally posted by Bonhomme
I look beter in real life than in photos, generally.

And look better than I did in high school, too. Thanks to a bit of bodybuilding...

yeah same here, except not so much bodybuilding but toning the belly fat away. and actually having a sense of style with my clothing instead of cheap ass ****.

 

[EternalBachelor]

Girls say I am quite good looking, handsome and has a handsome face, but considering none of them are interested in me I figure they are just saying it to make me feel good about myself.

It is weird as in some mirrors i look good and in others i look hideous. I know it is to do with the lighting and stuff but i still find a bad reflection shatters my confidence. I also don't understand why I look completely diffenret in photos to how I do in the mirror, as I look good in photos.

I know it is silly to obsess over this as in the end girls either like you or don't, and you cannot do much to change your looks, but I don't like the way I look and it definitely hurts my confidence as if I don't like the way I look how can I expect girls to?

Intersting about the powers of the mind to fool yourself, but surely you cannot be fooled by a mirror as you see what you see

 

[pimpin_since_85]

I know I'm goodlooking, b/c of other peoples opinions... I'm a lightskinned black male... i dress nice all the time...everybody calls me a prettyboy

but I didn't start pulling broads til i built up the confidence to start trying, and i've been looking the same for a while... so its the way you carry yaself that determines a lot about how others see you...in my opinion

 

[Jay-X]

i am considered pretty handsome (the most girls think of me as an 8, while others say that they don't understand why i'm seen as beautiful, since they consider me a 6, maybe less), however many mirrors make me rather ugly. in photos, i'm usually more handsome than normal, because they're always taken when i'm reflectin' about something, so i look pretty viril