NYC 23yo in need of some assistance

[Clever]

Hey, I was browsing the web and found these forums. I'm a 23 year old guy who's never been with a girl before (never even kissed a girl). I make the 40-year-old virgin look like a pimp. I've been very badly socially programmed. I grew up in a very bad area. Went to a dangerous JHS and because of it, built a wall around myself which has made it hard for me to not only meet girls but regular friends as well. Throughout high school and college, I was a loner, never even acknowledging the opposite sex. I was a little overweight and wore really bad clothes because I didn't know any better. Things changed about a year ago when I met one of my best friends. He got me into bodybuilding, told me to burn my clothes and showed me what good clothes look like, etc. Now I feel a whole lot better about what I look like and have more confidence in myself but I still have problems with girls. Not even with girls, but approaching girls.

My friends are like "You can bench press 250lbs, you're a martial artist, you're wearing $200 Prada's and you have trouble talking to a 90lb girl." Unfortunately, for some reason or another, it's true. A perfect example is yesterday night. My friend and I went to the club Avalon in the city. It was my first time going to a club so I didn't really know what to expect. I was feeling confident as we're walking to the club. I'm dressed good, have a positive attitude. We're in line and I still have the positive attitude, good body language (chest out, legs shoulder length apart, smile on my face, etc). I spoke to some people behind us but they were Russians with thick accents so I couldn't really get a good conversation started. We go in. They had 2 rooms the hip hop room and the techno/dance room. My friend likes hip hop and grinding so we go into that room. He just gets behind a girl and starts grinding and putting his hands on first her hips, then her stomach, then briefly her chest, and she didn't seem to mind. It was the most amazing thing I've ever. I was standing to the side. So after 5 minutes he comes over to me and says 'that's how it's done, next time, I'll find 2 girls, I'll get one, you get the other.' He finds 2 girls, he gets one and I stand to the side again, frozen stiff. After 5 minutes, he comes to me and says that I should probably get a drink to 'loosen up a bit.' So I overpay for some cranberry/gray goose vodka and drink it. We go back, he grinds, I stand in the corner. It wasn't working for me, so we left. Maybe a club was too intense for a first timer like me. Maybe I need to go to a lounge or something.

Any NYC DJ's, pua's or whoever interested in giving me advice or helping me out (in person if possible) ?

Thanks.

 

[Fitch]

Hey.

Look, you have to face your fear of rejection. You KNOW why you act a certain way; you understand your own behavior, yet you do nothing about it.

I went to the worst High School in New York; I later transfered to a prep school since my grades were spectacular. I never let that get to me.

You act differently around your parents then your friends; same concept. In school: different environment--you need to survive; after school: be lax; chill out.

Your just whining, desiring someone to hold you through this process and guide you like a child. Get up off your ass, and just do it. Yes, it's intimidating because your laying out all your cards when you approach a woman--don't do that. Remain mysterious; don't make it seem you want ass, not right away.

Just keep it cool, and say hi. I don't care what your thinking right now, JUST try it. Today when your walking on the street, just say hi to the cutest chick you see on the street. See how it goes from there.

Yo, that's what I did. That girl I spoke to ended up being a N.Y.U. student (I'm still in High School) and we ended up going for coffee. At the end of the day, she gave me her number AND I got an invite to my first college party.

Anyone can do it; you just need to TRY. How can you act defeated.. if you never really tried?

If you want to hit on a russian girl: learn a few words of russian. they'll think it's cute. believe me. :woo: