Numbers about...numbers

[DharmaBear]

Well said, Tony; I couldn't agree more.

 

[TheBends86]

As a transitional AFC, my ratio is probably 1:50 atm.

So to counteract that, I am trying to meet as many women as possible for practice, while trying to improve my DJ skills.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by al77
Why? the rest 7 numbers were fake?
You should tell us how you managed to get so high success rate without having supe handsome looks and not a lot fo experience?
The only thing I can say you look somewhat better than average
...if the convo never goes beyond "what school you go to to..."? It is a mystery to me. Maybe it is about connection - when you just "click" with a girl - and she talks.. talks and talks... and yeah ready to go on a date with you?

no, the other 7 were real. 1 already had plans, but promised she really wanted to still hang out? 2 said they'd call back...never did; 1 i left a message for...i think she'd already left the dorm for the summer (just my luck); 1 has no answering machine and wasn't there...i may call back; 2 i haven't called yet because i don't think they had enough IL on the approach...and i don't think i will, so they might as well be fake too.

the convo does go beyond "what school you go to..." i guess though i'm not setting a great impression, so i can't comment much on this myself. i need to work on this too. yeah, basically, i've tried to find something common right off the bat and talk about that, then just joke/flirt if possible.

this is very true:

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
...Don't ask her for her number, ask her to do sh!t with you first, and if she is into you, she will say yes and offer the number herself, and you wont have her flaking over the phone.
Doing this, you get a 100% calling success rate.

but, you have to be specific. i made the mistake of just saying "let's go for coffee sometime" and sure, most of the times they offered their phone number, one even asked for mine. but i should have said "what are you doing tomorrow/later?" and gone from there...i have to be more specific, and Francisco d'Anconia's post opened my eyes to this.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by h2o
i made the mistake of just saying "let's go for coffee sometime" and sure, most of the times they offered their phone number, one even asked for mine. but i should have said "what are you doing tomorrow/later?"

I guess you have to catch her off guard. i.e. even if she is interested but het IL is medium lets say, when you come with ""what are you doing tomorrow?" she may still resist and play "hard to get" just cuz she is a girl.. and you are a stranger.
So you have to catch her off guard by "Nice talking to you"... and start walking.. but dont walk much, keep her in view and immediately say "by the way what are you doing tomorrow? <small pause here, but don't let her say anything> Lets get together for coffee at XXXX. what coffee do you like?"

It is much more relaxing for her and engaging... When you start walking she lower her "shield"...so the question may come through... when you say "what coffee do you like" it is much harder to answer it with "I am busy".

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
...
Anyway, if you can lead convo to that extent that she is willing to go on a date .. yes, it is due to true skills. Much better than anythig else. Would you elaborate on you conversational approach that leads to a date in teh end istaed of just a row of digits? That would be very interesting.

Rapport is the key. Women by nature are EXTREMELY talkative. You only need to do two things:

1. Have her feel 'familiar' with you.
2. Find out what she is passionate about.
   [/list=1]
   Becoming familiar could be as easy as acknowledging that the two of you have the same opinion about the situation the two of you are sharing at the moment. It could be as difficult as acknowledging that the two of you had the same math teacher in grade school. The only other way for me to explain it is a line from a sci-fi movie, "We mean you no harm..."
   
   After gaining that familiarity (hopefully in an interesting way) you would have keyed in on something she is passionate about. Unless you are truly interested in her, you'll surely miss it. Understand that being interested has nothing to do with you what so ever, it's all about her. Until you get that, you'll just be wasting your time. I believe there is a thread about 'charisma' that would help on this topic.
   
   You can also read the works of Leil Lowndes for more in depth information. One of her titles stands out WAY above the others and guys usually gravitate to that one. I'd suggest starting with one of her earlier works which is more general and could be used in any situation. Just a suggestion...
   
   The most important thing in all of this is her interest level (IL). This is based on a combination of your personality, presentation AND if you are good, knowledge of her passions. If she's receptive to getting to know someone new on a more than superficial level AND you have at least two of the three things I listed, she will agree to continue your conversation more intimately (this does not necessarily mean in a candle lit room with a bottle of wine and Barry White playing in the background).
   
   If she's receptive, she'll be as interested in speaking more about YOUR passions too (yes, she knows yours as well or at least she should). The problem most guys have at this point is that they don't strike when the iron is hot. They do the half @ssed thing of asking for a telephone number so that they can call her later. That's like spending 15 minutes having foreplay and telling her that you aren't going to fvck her until the next time you see her and then wait for 3 days or a week before you do. Does this paint a vivid enough picture?
   
   If she's interested, why not just ask her out for coffee, a walk, to sit on a bench, ANYTHING right then and there? If she's interested she will either accept or counter, but only if she is interested. There's no tricks, there's no lines. YOU either make her feel a particular way which she enjoys or you don't.