Now, WTF?

[DonJuanit0]

Today I show a girl that used to hang around with some old friends of mine! She is HB 9! So, I went to her and said:

Me: Hey, I remember you! You used to hang out with bla bla bla!
Her: Yeah, I remember you too!
Me: I also recall you were fanatically playing backgammon (I'm not sure if this is the correct game anyway)
Her: Yeah I was and still are! I was fanatic cause I was always winning due to lack!
Me: Let's play then sometime, they say I'm lucky too so it will be fun winning you!
Her: Haha, you will lose anyway!
Me: Ok, next time I see you around we can deal this!
Her: I'll be here tomorrow around 5pm!
Me: What day is tomorrow?
Her: Friday
Me: (thinking a bit) Ok, I think I'll make it
Her: Be here! (in a command way)
Me: Laughed and went back to my friends!


So this is how it started yesterday! She invited me!

I went today there by myself and i saw her playing backgammon with a guy! I have no idea WTF so I go there:

Me:Hey
her: Hey how are you?
Me: Fine, you already play
her: yeah we started before
Me: It's ok

And I go to the bar order a cafe and go to the second level of the place and sit by myself, I call my dudes to come asap.

After 5 mins she comes up

Her: Why didn't you sit down? We could play! We're finished now with my best friend and i won! Come now!
Me: It's ok you were playing and staff, you guys can come up here cause I'm expecting some friends
Her: We won't know anyone so it will be akward to just sit with you guys
Me: W/e you feel like
Her: Come by tomorrow with your friends I'll be here too, so YOU (NOT WE) can have a drink or something!
Me: Maybe I will!

And she left!

Now, wtf happened there? If she didn't want to hang out with me she wouldn't give me a place and a time in the first place! She could have agreed that maybe sometime we can play! And after she does that she is simply playing with someone else, and didn't come up with me to play afterwards but she left with him! He is certainly not her BF btw! I'm not sure if I'm dissapointed or kinda angry by the way she behaved! I simply don't understand...

 

[Alle_Gory]

She's not comfortable enough with you 1 on 1. Do it her way for a meetup or two (seems very casual) and then ask her out. 1 on 1.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Not comfortable? That's a reliefing explanation but I don't believe this is it! Simply because her reactions when we talk are different! She is all smiles and she doesn't look like a shy girl! She could also sit with me and my friends would soon appear, so we wouldn't be 1 on 1! So what you suggest to go tomorrow for the drinks she said? I won't have anything to tell her and she didn't invite me so that WE can have a drink! Rather just to be around with my friends!

 

[Iceberg]

Well it doesn't sound like you planned a date. It seems like you included yourself in something that she was going to be doing anyway.

It's like if I saw you at a park playing soccer and said, "Hey DonJuanit0, will you be playing here tomorrow? If so, I'll stop by and play soccer with you." You didn't PLAN anything specifically 1 on 1 with her. You just offered to join in plans that she already had for herself.

So, it's not like you asked for a number, or invited her for drinks, or anything specific. You just said, "You're playing backgammon? Maybe I'll come play with you tomorrow." That's not an offer of a Male asking a Female on a date. It's two friends making plans to play a game.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Yeah, certainly I wasn't aggresive! But she invited me, I didn't say anything about today! She could not even be there today! It's not like she's there all the time! And I did show that I got a bit frustrated from what happened there! Any move now? Anything I can do? Fack I can't advice my self on such things!

 

[Alle_Gory]

Yeah, certainly I wasn't aggresive! But she invited me i didn't say anything about today! She might not even be there today! It's not like she's there all the time! And i did show that I got a bit frustrated from what happened there! Any move now? Anything I can do? Fack I can't advice my self on such things!

Calm down! This means nothing. My advice? Talk to her, see what kind of girl she is. If you want to date her, then go and try to be her friend. That's right, hang out with her as a friend! Why? So you can calm the fvck down. Once you have calmed down and you're comfortable and she's comfortable make it a date!

How? Be playful, be touchy ask her about herself her life... whatever. Key word is touch. You want to nail this girl, she has to be comfortable with your touch. She'll get the message.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Calm down! This means nothing. My advice? Talk to her, see what kind of girl she is. If you want to date her, then go and try to be her friend. That's right, hang out with her as a friend! Why? So you can calm the fvck down. Once you have calmed down and you're comfortable and she's comfortable make it a date!

How? Be playful, be touchy ask her about herself her life... whatever. Key word is touch. You want to nail this girl, she has to be comfortable with your touch. She'll get the message.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Yeah, I went today cause it was actually for today but the programme had been changed and she worked the early shift so I didn't see her! I'm thinking that if she come and say let's say:

her: I'm sorry for the other days (since she looked quit sorry when she came to talk to me)
Me: You know I can't trust your words anymore right? I'd like to see actions of regret such as buying me a drink sometime somewhere else!

Or else I'll just do what is said is here!

 

[Alle_Gory]

her: I'm sorry for the other days (since she looked quit sorry when she came to talk to me)
Me: You know I can't trust your words anymore right? I'd like to see actions of regret such as buying me a drink sometime somewhere else!

Or else I'll just do what is said is here!

Me: Didn't even notice. You want to show me how to play this game? I'm pretty ok, but I'm no expert... etc.

Get her away with some kind of excuse.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Ok, I got the point! I'll act like it didn't bother me at all (which i know it shouldn't bother that much) and I'll try to act friendly until we get to know each other! Then I'll make my self clear by asking her out!

Thanks guys!

 

[Johnnyventana]

Self-sabotage I'd say.

You couldn't wait 5 minutes before calling your friends. You should of. You were [past tense] in. Chill.

I'm sure you're still okay. Stop playing game though.

 

[IamJosan]

OP, you need to control the situation. Instead of waiting for her to invite you to play, invite yourself and tell her to play with you. Like when you asked her if she played already and she said yes, instead of leaving you could've said: Okay, I'm next, or something like that.

Also, you should've played with her even if she was with her guy friend. Like you said yourself, they are just friends so you should've made friends with the guy. If you can make friends with her friends and win them over, you have a better chance of winning over the girl. A social person= valuable= attractive.

 

[runner83]

You rejected her through your insecurity once you thought another guy might be involved.

Advice from above is what you should do from here:


"OP, you need to control the situation. Instead of waiting for her to invite you to play, invite yourself and tell her to play with you. Like when you asked her if she played already and she said yes, instead of leaving you could've said: Okay, I'm next, or something like that."

Play your cards right (or whatever the fvck is used in backgammon) and she will be "playing with you"...literally!

 

[Alle_Gory]

Ok, I got the point! I'll act like it didn't bother me at all (which i know it shouldn't bother that much) and I'll try to act friendly until we get to know each other! Then I'll make my self clear by asking her out!

Thanks guys!

So why does it?

 

[DonJuanit0]

So why does it?

Oneitis? I think I got over it anyway, flirting helped a lot! I simply w8 for the next time I will see her and see what happens!

Johnyventana she didn't see me calling my dudes and we are there all the time! So she probably thought that they would come anyway! I didn't look insecure cause of that! I'd say my body language seemed like I was shocked (can't translate how I was in English).

IamJosan and Runner you're right and I've seen my mistake here! I just hope to simply find the balls and go do what you guys say! If I have a small problem talking to a woman when she is alone, I have a big problem talking to a woman sitting with others! Despite that, I'll try!

 

[roman81]

Today I show a girl that used to hang around with some old friends of mine! She is HB 9! So, I went to her and said:

Me: Hey, I remember you! You used to hang out with bla bla bla!
Her: Yeah, I remember you too!
Me: I also recall you were fanatically playing backgammon (I'm not sure if this is the correct game anyway)
Her: Yeah I was and still are! I was fanatic cause I was always winning due to lack!
Me: Let's play then sometime, they say I'm lucky too so it will be fun winning you!
Her: Haha, you will lose anyway!
Me: Ok, next time I see you around we can deal this!
Her: I'll be here tomorrow around 5pm!
Me: What day is tomorrow?
Her: Friday
Me: (thinking a bit) Ok, I think I'll make it
Her: Be here! (in a command way)
Me: Laughed and went back to my friends!


So this is how it started yesterday! She invited me!

I went today there by myself and i saw her playing backgammon with a guy! I have no idea WTF so I go there:

Me:Hey
her: Hey how are you?
Me: Fine, you already play
her: yeah we started before
Me: It's ok

And I go to the bar order a cafe and go to the second level of the place and sit by myself, I call my dudes to come asap.

After 5 mins she comes up

Her: Why didn't you sit down? We could play! We're finished now with my best friend and i won! Come now!
Me: It's ok you were playing and staff, you guys can come up here cause I'm expecting some friends
Her: We won't know anyone so it will be akward to just sit with you guys
Me: W/e you feel like
Her: Come by tomorrow with your friends I'll be here too, so YOU (NOT WE) can have a drink or something!
Me: Maybe I will!

And she left!

Now, wtf happened there? If she didn't want to hang out with me she wouldn't give me a place and a time in the first place! She could have agreed that maybe sometime we can play! And after she does that she is simply playing with someone else, and didn't come up with me to play afterwards but she left with him! He is certainly not her BF btw! I'm not sure if I'm dissapointed or kinda angry by the way she behaved! I simply don't understand...

My experience of Greek girls and Greek culture in general is that platonic friendships between the sexes is a normal thing. Also when it comes to displaying sexual interest greek girls tend to be very subtle in how they show it. My opinion is that she brought the guy in order to get his opinion on you, also she probably feels more secure in this kind of situation. From her conversation i see a fair bit of subtle interest but she feels unsure of you that's why she brought the friend along. I think you still have a chance with her. I would try to isolate her, so next time you see her ask her out for a coffee/portis date, go to a different place, make sure it's one on one, if she brings a friend again point out that you wanted to be alone with her and depending on her reaction you will know where you stand.