Now that I know the truth, now what?

[confusedstate]

I sometimes think things were easier when I was an AFC.

I don’t feel any connection with the majority of women, and when I do, it’s just strong physical attraction disguised as a connection. Pretty much, I never expect to find a woman that is my personality match, even an UG (not that I’d want an UG, but just for argument’s sake.)

It seems my only interest in women now is just for their looks. Even when I “fall” for someone, it’s because they’re my type lookswise and they don’t have an outlandishly bad personality to ruin the attraction.

Yet, part of me deep down inside still believes in the idea of the connection, despite what I know about women (from my experiences firsthand and what I read and hear from other people.)

It also seems that I’m still susceptible to one-it-is…Eddie Murphy in Boomerang type one-it-is…where he just likes the chick's looks and is obsessed with the sex and he gets hung up on her and mistakes it for love. (Only I don’t believe in the movie’s happily ever after where he meets Halle Berry who’s “perfect.”)

On one hand, I’m glad I’m not in “Oh I need some special girlfriend” mode…but knowing the truth doesn’t make it any easier. Just makes things more of a headache.

Anyone else ever feel or felt like this?

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

I sometimes think things were easier when I was an AFC.

You still are an AFC, just not as AFC as you use to be.

I don’t feel any connection with the majority of women, and when I do, it’s just strong physical attraction disguised as a connection. Pretty much, I never expect to find a woman that is my personality match, even an UG (not that I’d want an UG, but just for argument’s sake.)

It's not easy to find a woman that has the same personality as yourself. It's good to have some things in common but not everything. When two people come together its always good to have balance. What's most important is for them to have the same life goals as yourself.

If you have a career, work full time and find yourself dating a girl in college, she won't have the same goals as yourself. It's nice at first but she'll most likely want to go left when you want to go right.

It seems my only interest in women now is just for their looks. Even when I “fall” for someone, it’s because they’re my type lookswise and they don’t have an outlandishly bad personality to ruin the attraction.

The first step is attraction in most cases.

Yet, part of me deep down inside still believes in the idea of the connection, despite what I know about women (from my experiences firsthand and what I read and hear from other people.)

If you wanna STR that moves into an LTR there should a good connection of course...

It also seems that I’m still susceptible to one-it-is…Eddie Murphy in Boomerang type one-it-is…where he just likes the chick's looks and is obsessed with the sex and he gets hung up on her and mistakes it for love. (Only I don’t believe in the movie’s happily ever after where he meets Halle Berry who’s “perfect.”)

You are only susceptible to one-it-is because you may be only dating one girl or giving that girl most of your attention. This won't happen if you spin plates.

On one hand, I’m glad I’m not in “Oh I need some special girlfriend” mode…but knowing the truth doesn’t make it any easier. Just makes things more of a headache.

Anyone else ever feel or felt like this?

It's a hard game to play, but if you play your cards right, women will notice. Maybe you won't screw up with the hot girl you'll meet next week.

I for one feel more confident that I can control my frame better with women now than before. It's a big difference actually. if you're not noticing women acting different around you in regards to their responses, your most likely doing something wrong.

 

[Jitterbug]

It takes a couple of years for the Red Pill to go from your throat to being completely dissolved in your stomach. Don't rush.

 

[confusedstate]

I’m not looking for an LTR in the traditional sense. I never want to get married or have kids (no interest whatsoever.) Sometime in my 30s or 40s, I’d like to meet a woman who also feels the same way (and is either divorced or never married and regardless, no kids) and have an LTR with her…but that’s way down the road.

For now, I just want dating/friends with benefits with a woman I’m physically attracted to. The reason I get one-it-is easily is because I’m picky lookswise. Spinning plates didn’t work for me because if I’m not that attracted to the other plates, it doesn’t matter.

My biggest problem, still, I’d say, is that I end up falling for women purely for their looks. Of course like one of you said, the physical attraction comes first with most people…but as an example, I was talking to a girl on a dating site…goth girl, low quality, tattoos all over her body, smoker, heavy drinker…and when she flaked and blocked me on aim, I was offended, based on just the fact that I found her sexually attractive and let it affect my ego temporarily.

I don’t see anything wrong with me going for looks and strong attraction especially since I’m looking for short term and not looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with…but I seem to get attached way too easily, even online.

The women I’ve had sex with have all been not my type (even though they weren’t ugly) but I can easily see myself becoming like some of the guys on this site after they bang “their HB10” and get depressed over her.

My goal is to find a new frame during this transitional period…where I can have conversation with my type or sleep with them, but maintain an even keel. Any suggestions besides spinning plates? (In a perfect world, we’d all have 3 or 4 women that are “our type” to play around with.)