now or never?

[aballer2323]

Gentlemen, I'm in the middle of a situation that I'm not sure what to do and was hoping to hear some of your thoughts.

So I'm a college student, and I met a girl this semester and have known her for almost 3 months now. I've kinda taken it slow with her and kept my distance so I don't give off the aura of being too desperate (no online chatting, minimal texting, etc). I see her on campus quite a bit and I've grabbed meals with her a few times. I've really enjoyed getting to know her and have really enjoyed her company; she's a really interesting girl and in my opinion is LTR material.

The problem is, I'm going abroad next semester and will essentially be gone from campus for about 8 months. So basically, I have from between now and Christmas break to do something. Like I said, I've played it cool, but since time is kind of running out, should I just make a move and let her know my intentions? Generally speaking, I know you guys are against telling a girl that you like her, but I don't really know if there's any other options.

What do you guys think? Appreciate the help.

 

[window]

I would forget about her...you are going away for 8 months so it is pointless of trying to put pressure on what is already a good thing ? Before you go just say hey I'm going away can I get your email. If you come back and still feel the same way (which you probably wont) ask her out.

Here is a good link for you to read...

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/letting-go-of-invisible-friend/

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

^ No.

You ask her to hang out by your place.

If I think a girl is cute I qualify her. If I still like her you hang out with her whether it be a date or you just chillin at the house. When you are chillin everything else will come naturally.... at least I hope.

 

[Desdinova]

You cannot build a deep enough relationship after one date to keep her interested for the 8 months you won't be seeing her. Keeping her is not an option for such a long time apart, especially since you've done nothing with her.

Your best bet is to take her out a couple of times, show her some fun, and leave her to focus on other prospects during your 8 months away. Once you get back, she'll likely keep you as an option.... but that depends on how you handle the time you have before you leave. If you have no fvcking clue what to do on a date nor how to 'ask' for one, you're going to be SOL when it comes to raising her IL back up.

 

[aballer2323]

^ thanks for the responses.

@Destinova, what would you say is the optimal way to handle the time before I leave?

 

[Desdinova]

what would you say is the optimal way to handle the time before I leave?

What I would do personally is take her out on a couple of fun action dates, initiate kino, and kiss her. Then leave her to think about me for 8 months, no contact.

However, I have a feeling you're a bit clueless when it comes to dating, so what you'll likely do is keep pu55yfooting around her and getting nowhere, then end up feeling regret when you leave for 8 months.

You can't look for a quick fix to make a woman feel attraction toward you. You need to learn how to interact with women effectively, getting them to feel attraction toward you. You NEED to go out there and practice interacting with them. Everything is hit or miss, and it'll mostly be miss in the beginning.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, focusing on one girl in particular. Once you strike out with a woman, you won't have another opportunity to successfully get a date with her until a year or so has passed. You need to accept the fact that you're going to risk rejection and even get rejected learning how to attract women. After you realize this, you'll be able to go outside your comfort zone and approach many women, trying to land yourself a date. Once you increase your odds, build a thick skin against rejection and develop confidence, you will be able to land a date.

Now, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the link that says "The DJ Bible"

 

[aballer2323]

@Desdinova, thanks for the response. But I'm not as clueless as you make me out to be. I do look at the DJ bible. This is a girl that I actually met randomly at the bus stop and made small talk/got her number. I am "spinning other plates" as well and I'm not "*****footing." IT's just that I think she's a little more interesting and I connect with her more than the others, so I'm a little reluctant to just move on and forget about her. But I guess the right thing to do is just to move on.

 

[Desdinova]

IT's just that I think she's a little more interesting and I connect with her more than the others, so I'm a little reluctant to just move on and forget about her.

It doesn't matter if you just want to fvck her or get into a relationship with her, the same initial techniques you use to attract women will work for both situations. Taking things 'slow' is not the way to get either result. When you take things 'slow' and do absolutely nothing to communicate your sexual interest in her, the initial impression she gets from you is that you only want to be friends.

You need to communicate your sexual interest in a woman as soon as you can after the initial meeting. Do this with EVERY girl you meet. This puts you in control of whether you want to date her or make her just a friend.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

@Desdinova, thanks for the response. But I'm not as clueless as you make me out to be. I do look at the DJ bible. This is a girl that I actually met randomly at the bus stop and made small talk/got her number. I am "spinning other plates" as well and I'm not "*****footing." IT's just that I think she's a little more interesting and I connect with her more than the others, so I'm a little reluctant to just move on and forget about her. But I guess the right thing to do is just to move on.

Why would you just move on? I don't get it.

Back in May I was preparing to leave my city, spend the summer in Europe, and return to the states with a new job in New York.

I dated several girls who knew I was leaving and were more than happy to f**k me throughout that period of time.

For all you know, this girl would love to have a short-term fling with you. You're doing that thing where you envision women as wanting long term, emotional relationships. Sometimes they want something fun and quick. So if you only end up hooking up with her for 2 months, maybe that's all she needs.