"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Now it's starting to make sense

The LadyKiller

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Recently, I met a HB8. I don't know her really well yet, but she is of interest. She is attractive, smart and we have several similarities, but something about her is "different." I finally learned why (answer below).

- Her guy friends are of the "nice guy" variety. No knock here, though you expect her to try and linger near guys she "likes" if she is a HB8.
- A lot of HB's I know like getting attention and bask in the spotlight. HB8 shies away from the spotlight. Again not a knock, but it's going against the grain.
- Many HB's try to play dumb for whatever reason. Maybe it's to seek attention like the above point. HB8 prefers showing that she is smart (which she is). It's probably one of the reasons we get along because we can debate things or have an intelligent conversation seamlessly.
- She is super-protective of herself. Seems to play a lot of hard-to-get and is "afraid" of letting guys get too close to her. She doesn't even have many pics of guys on her facebook page.
- The biggie was a party we were at last week. HB8 was all made up, nice outfit, etc. She is also single, so how many guys did she flirt with? Umm...0. She hung by one of her platonic guy friends the entire night. I know the guy and I know they're not involved.

It was at this party where all the clues added up. She's a virgin. I found this out because one of her guy friends let it slip in a conversation and she was right there. Someone had mentioned the same thing to me awhile back, so I presume this is true.

My question is, should this change anything I do when approaching, conversing or trying to set up a date with her?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Buddha_Mind

Master Don Juan
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How is she responding to you right now? Keep at it man, if you're getting IOI's keep teasing that out. Don't overmack her, just bring up attraction and see if you can get her comfortable being sexual with you. There are many reasons she could be a virgin -- you don't know yet if it's religious or what. I knew a chick who was stunning and happened to be a virgin the time I met her. She had a 'boyfriend' in 'California' (this was in Iowa at the time) whom I think she'd made out with or something. But she was a virgin because her family had been so fukked she was scarred about dating and didn't get into it till later on.

Buddy, if she was giving me IOIs, and I was in your position, I'd sure as fuk keep trying to go for it.
 

The LadyKiller

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Buddha_Mind said:
How is she responding to you right now?
It varies. Some days, she is extremely outgoing. On other days, she goes near-silent which means I have to approach. Recently, she's started occasionally touching my shoulder when walking by, and she's not kino'ing everyone. Sometimes, she'll dangle her shoe off the tip of her foot, again no idea if that's flirting or not. However, her overall behavior can be somewhat inconsistent. Never "bad" but maybe "unsure" on her part. Some days she acts interested. Other days, not so much.

Buddha_Mind said:
Keep at it man, if you're getting IOI's keep teasing that out. Don't overmack her, just bring up attraction and see if you can get her comfortable being sexual with you. There are many reasons she could be a virgin -- you don't know yet if it's religious or what....Buddy, if she was giving me IOIs, and I was in your position, I'd sure as fuk keep trying to go for it.
Thanks for the tips. I do not think she is religious, so who knows what the reason could be. As I mentioned earlier, her behavior isn't consistent, making her tough to read. Usually I can figure things out for better or for worse. Not here. The virgin bit adds another wrench.
 

Mr.SomeoneElse

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I personally don't dabble into V-cards.
I do have a few and man, its such a rough/horrible process.

Don't you even consider taking this girls unless you're actually going to follow through with a relationship or be a man and make sure she understands your intentions.

I've done some ****ed up things, some really funny things and yeah, some mean things before with plates but I don't **** around with a girls virginity.
Virginity is a huge thing for most girls, way more than it is for us guys and so much comes with it and the sex isn't even good since she's in pain and sh*t.

The only advantage to it is that most girls seem to get a long lasting case of oneitis towards me, mainly because i'll always be 'that guy' in their head. When they have daughters they're going to tell them and explain to them the experience.
But realistically if you make this experience bad for her, you could ruin her impression/outlook on men for the rest of her life. So just make sure you're genuinely interested in her.


From a game stand point. With virgins, after you get past the regular semantics of conversing with her, bring up the topic of sex and she how she responds to it/if she's comfortable talking about it. I've noticed that virgins are generally extremely curious about it, and if you share stories with her it paints a picture in their head of you in bed with them and they'll start to feel safe/warm up to the idea of it. I really doubt she'll sleep with you until you have actually talked about sex or made some serious sexual references ahead of time, because if you're making out she'll for sure pull some LMR the minute you try to escalate if the idea of you under the sheets with her is a foreign picture versus if she's actually thought about it/talked to you about it and knows that you can handle it maturely.
 

InnerHappiness

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Disregard her being a virgin, it appears she is an attention wh0re from what you are telling us. The v-card is just a way of keeping these guys around her. Don't be one of them she is hanging out with. Move in or move forward.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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