Noticed something about Oneitis

[Hakuna]

Following a break-up a lot of guys start claiming “she was my soul mate,” “I loved her more than anything,” “We were supposed to get married,” yada yada yada, i e; that they were upset because of a cosmic sense of love and belonging that they had lost. But in most cases, I've come to realize that the real reasons for their grief were much less grandeur...

(a) The girl they were with was significantly better looking than any other woman they were with or any woman they slept with post-break up
(b) They didn’t think they could do better than this woman
(c) They felt a competitive anxiety, they hated picturing other guys fuking the beauty that was supposed to be theirs

Their Oneitis had fed off of fear and missing physical attraction, not love or belonging. And this isn’t a rare occurrence, I've noticed that most men torn apart by their break ups are actually crippled over THESE reasons, not the extravagant ones they like to offer.

It's common advice to tell a guy whose recovering from Oneitis to sleep with other women, I just wanted to throw in a reminder because of the recent string of Oneitis threads I've seen.

No amount of attachment anxiety can withstand the earth-shattering feeling of busting into a girl hotter than your girl friend. The experience is truly enlightening, something that would leave the Dalia lama illuminated. It awakens your primal instincts and instantly reminds you of your manhood. It serves as an ether to your Oneitis, burning through your dependency and attachment issues.

 

[runner83]

No amount of attachment anxiety can withstand the earth-shattering feeling of busting into a girl hotter than your girl friend. The experience is truly enlightening, something that would leave the Dalia lama illuminated. It awakens your primal instincts and instantly reminds you of your manhood. It serves as an ether to your Oneitis, burning through your dependency and attachment issues.

Amen to that brother.

 

[blueline]

The thing is you have to bang a girl that's hotter than your ex was. Otherwise, you are not getting over her anytime soon. For me, that's either going to be spin the wheel a hundred more times to finally find another hot chick with a mental disorder desperate enough to **** me or just **** a bunch more <7's and let time run it's course.

If you think about it, this makes working out so much more worth it. I could have this effect on hot chicks, too, with something as simple and passive as that. I'd always live on in their minds as that burly, masculine guy that could seriously **** them like no other. That guy that could make them feel like a woman. Even when they're happily married to some rich guy, they'd still think about me occasionally. Crazy that something so simple will cause you to live on in an ex-lover's mind. Trust me, the fucking nerd who reads the entire DJ bible will not have this effect on an ex-lover because he will not have ****ed her dominantly enough. Think about this: could Pee-Wee Herman actually satisfy a girl in bed? No. You cannot fake dominance through a bunch of bull**** tricks.

Sometimes you get the hot chick that stays with a goon like that. Do you actually think she's being faithful to him? No. Each time I've seen this, that girl is cheating on her guy every now and then. She is not sexually fulfilled by him. If the guy is not in shape, the sex is bad.

 

[GameOfNoGame]

Ya great, what if thee aren't any girls hotter than your ex in your opinion? I've been on high alert for 8 months and not one girl at any bar, in any party, with any friend, walking any street, that I've seen, IN EIGHT MONTHS comes close. Not even close.

But you know what? I could deal with that if I could at least meet another decent looking girl who (like my ex) not only didn't give me blanks stares when I talked about the things I love but enjoyed them too so I didn't have to fake liking her company.

But I can't and it's been really hard to get it to register that, the one time I meet a girl who is perfect looking IMO (a lot of guys would really disagree but I'm entitled to my opinion) and isn't inane IMO she turned out to also be the worst person I've ever met.

So it isn't just about looks, it's about a fulfilment that I'm worried I'm not going find again because I've ben looking for the better part of a year and haven't found anyone who does it for me in any area. Oh I've dated but who the hell cares if you don't really like them?

 

[blueline]

Ya great, what if thee aren't any girls hotter than your ex in your opinion? I've been on high alert for 8 months and not one girl at any bar, in any party, with any friend, walking any street, that I've seen, IN EIGHT MONTHS comes close. Not even close.

But you know what? I could deal with that if I could at least meet another decent looking girl who (like my ex) not only didn't give me blanks stares when I talked about the things I love but enjoyed them too so I didn't have to fake liking her company.

But I can't and it's been really hard to get it to register that, the one time I meet a girl who is perfect looking IMO (a lot of guys would really disagree but I'm entitled to my opinion) and isn't inane IMO she turned out to also be the worst person I've ever met.

So it isn't just about looks, it's about a fulfilment that I'm worried I'm not going find again because I've ben looking for the better part of a year and haven't found anyone who does it for me in any area. Oh I've dated but who the hell cares if you don't really like them?

Not a single girl that's into me compares with my ex's looks otherwise I would've fucked her by now . It feels so pathetic and hopeless to think "Well, that's it, blueline. You maxed out with that one girl." But for the last almost 4 months now, I have not met a single girl of comparable attractiveness that wanted to **** me. Sure, I've fucked a few 6's, but nothing more than that since her. If a 7 could mentally charm me, I would probably forget all about my ex (ex was more or less an 8). Alas, I have not met met that 7.

I still think about my ex at least a few times a day and we only dated for 5 months about 4 months ago. She earned a bunch of negative points from the middle of the first date. ****ing weird, psychotic girl (literally went to a mental hospital). I never liked her personality in anyway and tried to break up with her like 4 times throughout the relationship. Here I am now, thinking about someone I never connected with for at least an hour a day. And it's simply because no girl that hot has ever been so affectionate with me. This is why I never actually broke up with her when I attempted to end it each of those times. I knew some ass that hot and desperate for me would not present itself anytime soon again. I treated her like total **** with the constant backhanded compliments, emotional manipulation, and I'm honestly kind of glad I did.


I wonder what the fuck happened to the guy that used to get asked out by random girls. My game's better than it's ever been. I approach everything confidently, I have a bunch of lines I use sometimes. I can make them laugh due to the way I say things. I can get SNL's in like an hour now. I'm more comfortable than I've ever been around women. I can approach hot chicks and not give a fuck, I'll even give them ****.

It's almost definitely due to being out of shape.

 

[Revolt]

The thing is you have to bang a girl that's hotter than your ex was. Otherwise, you are not getting over her anytime soon. For me, that's either going to be spin the wheel a hundred more times to finally find another hot chick with a mental disorder desperate enough to **** me or just **** a bunch more <7's and let time run it's course.

If you think about it, this makes working out so much more worth it. I could have this effect on hot chicks, too, with something as simple and passive as that. I'd always live on in their minds as that burly, masculine guy that could seriously **** them like no other. That guy that could make them feel like a woman. Even when they're happily married to some rich guy, they'd still think about me occasionally. Crazy that something so simple will cause you to live on in an ex-lover's mind. Trust me, the fucking nerd who reads the entire DJ bible will not have this effect on an ex-lover because he will not have ****ed her dominantly enough. Think about this: could Pee-Wee Herman actually satisfy a girl in bed? No. You cannot fake dominance through a bunch of bull**** tricks.

Sometimes you get the hot chick that stays with a goon like that. Do you actually think she's being faithful to him? No. Each time I've seen this, that girl is cheating on her guy every now and then. She is not sexually fulfilled by him. If the guy is not in shape, the sex is bad.

With all due respect, I couldn't disagree with this more. Not being in great shape doesn't mean you can't **** a woman hard, nor does it make your penis any bigger or make you last any longer in bed, or make your technique any better. I'm skinny and not very tall either, but I'm great in bed, and still get calls from a few girls telling me how unsatisfied they were with their latest partners. Unless you are ****ing a fatty, it doesn't take a lot of strength to throw a girl around either.

My problems have always lied in getting them into bed to begin with, but once thats done I've had a couple women who still text me and tell me about how unsatisfying other guys they've been getting with since then are, many of which I have very little doubt are much bigger and stronger than me.

I don't believe the criteria of attraction for men and women are the same either. Men go after the most attractive, women go after the highest "percieved" status.

The reality is, girls get oneitis about guys who they percieved as being above them socially, not physically. The paradigms are different.

 

[blueline]

With all due respect, I couldn't disagree with this more. Not being in great shape doesn't mean you can't **** a woman hard, nor does it make your penis any bigger or make you last any longer in bed, or make your technique any better. I'm skinny and not very tall either, but I'm great in bed, and still get calls from a few girls telling me how unsatisfied they were with their latest partners. Unless you are ****ing a fatty, it doesn't take a lot of strength to throw a girl around either.

My problems have always lied in getting them into bed to begin with, but once thats done I've had a couple women who still text me and tell me about how unsatisfying other guys they've been getting with since then are, many of which I have very little doubt are much bigger and stronger than me.

I don't believe the criteria of attraction for men and women are the same either. Men go after the most attractive, women go after the highest "percieved" status.

The reality is, girls get oneitis about guys who they percieved as being above them socially, not physically. The paradigms are different.

Yeah, I simply haven't gotten enough opportunities to bang girls. The 3 girls I've banged besides my ex I wasn't even able to get off with. I didn't have sex with any of them again because the only way I can find them attractive enough for sex is if I'm drunk or high. Neither of them were really fat chicks, even. Just boring, plain janes.

Status and looks probably correlate pretty well. There are some exceptions, but if you want to bang the hottest chicks, you need to bring something besides social skills to the table. Here is one case where status isn't really present, however.

One of my best friends is a massive player. He's socially brilliant ONLY when you don't know him and only to some people. He's very hit or miss. He doesn't have a great social circle to speak of because so many people dislike him. So, while the guy does get laid, it's only from randoms.

What does this mean? His social skills when it comes to connecting with lots of different people, his social skills aren't that great. Besides me, there aren't that many people that have his back. In fact, a good deal of people dislike him. So, how does he get laid so much? How does he get so much attention just walking into a bar (believe me, he's doing nothing special in his 'walk' besides being ripped, having good style, and having a male model face). His approaches are already "warm" before he opens his mouth a lot of times.

Sooo, what's happening here? He doesn't have **** for status, lots of dudes make fun of him behind his back. People get annoyed with me when I bring him to a party because they know he is pathologically obsessed with ****ing tons of women.

He doesn't have all that much status. What makes him so memorable then? He looks like Tom Cruise. It is from that point at which he can start laying down the seduction techniques.

This guy has no status going for him and he's ****ed 70 girls at age 25. I love him, though, one of the most interesting dudes I know.

 

[Revolt]

I'm not saying looks hurt or aren't an asset. From experience though, status will triumph. Its just more important. I know two guys, very fat. One of them is basically obese. Both extremely confident, ****y, funny. They both have sex with girls hotter than me and a lot of guys I know who are way more attractive. I see it time and time again.

Looks imply status before the girl has a chance to actually status test and perceive, and if you have them you can sleep with a girl quick. Soon enough though, they will drop him if he doesn't have personality down, and if he talks to them too long beforehand, his chances probably go down. The MOST attractive girls will probably require both, and from everything I've ever examined, experienced, seen, etc in my whole life has shown me that status(and the personality to convey it through confidence) are the more important part by far. And I don't mean status by the amount of friends, I mean by the ability to convey what basically amounts to superiority to a woman through personality.

 

[blueline]

I'm not saying looks hurt or aren't an asset. From experience though, status will triumph. Its just more important. I know two guys, very fat. One of them is basically obese. Both extremely confident, ****y, funny. They both have sex with girls hotter than me and a lot of guys I know who are way more attractive. I see it time and time again.

Looks imply status before the girl has a chance to actually status test and perceive, and if you have them you can sleep with a girl quick. Soon enough though, they will drop him if he doesn't have personality down, and if he talks to them too long beforehand, his chances probably go down. The MOST attractive girls will probably require both, and from everything I've ever examined, experienced, seen, etc in my whole life has shown me that status(and the personality to convey it through confidence) are the more important part by far. And I don't mean status by the amount of friends, I mean by the ability to convey what basically amounts to superiority to a woman through personality.

How old are these guys? If they're college age, sure that will fly if they aren't rich and successful yet. Beyond that however, it doesn't count. Maybe your hot chick isn't around 105lbs with a model figure. Maybe it's just me, but I just do not meet these charismatic ugly losers the community always talks about.