"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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nothing to do

R3N3G4D3

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During the school year I used to go to Syracuse University, and there were plenty of parties. Now it's summer and I'm stuck at Syracuse because of an internship, the only problem is all of the bars I know of are either 21+ or gay. Right before the end of the year I got bored with my GF and broke up with her, so now I'm looking for someone else, the only problem is I don't know where to look.

I don't want to get a fake ID since the good ones cost nearly $100 and bad ones are easy to recognize. I go to the gym regularly, but I have no clue how to approach anyone there when I'm all sweaty. Approaching anyone on the street here doesn't seem to be easy either because unlike in college, everyone walks in packs here with some combination like 2 girls and 4 guys. In college meeting girls was a lot easier, now I don't know anyone around here, and I don't even know of any places I could go to on weekends to chill. It would probably be easier if I had some friends around here.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not some weirdo who can't find any friends, it's just that everyone I know from college moved to their hometowns, since I only stayed on campus during school year I don't know of any people in the area who live here during the summer, and the guy I'm renting a room from is gay and is way older than me, so I just feel awkward chilling with him.

There are other interns who I work with, but they usually play videogames during the day and go to bars at night, since all of them are over 21 (I'm the youngest intern :( ). They don't mind if I hang around with them, but playing videogames during the day and watching tv when they decide to go to a bar is not my idea of fun. If anyone can suggest something, I would appreciate it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LJC

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Start up a men's poker night and hire a stripper. :D

Hell, I don't know....
 

Arioch

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Wow, this is similar to the situation I am in, but I'm 22. I'm doing a summer internship for two months at a school I don't go to in a town I've never been to before outside of NYC. One-third of the other kids were all from the same school and knew each other already, one-third are from this school and are all off doing their own thing, and the rest are awkward losers (I'm just making that assumption because I don't hang out with them). I've made friends with a few people from the group but a lot of them are under 21 and think I'm an alcoholic anyway just because I visited a few bars when I first got here, so I don't go to bars with them.

Basically, I've been focusing on other areas. First, it's important to be able to have a conversation with anyone, anytime. Well, I've been moonlighting as a lifeguard, and I try not to have conversations then unless the only other person at the pool is the other lifeguard, because I'm supposed to be paying attention to everyone. But I've met people that way, and I've hung out with them. I've had conversations with random business dudes in bars (but I know that doesn't apply to you).

People who have boring-ass summer jobs working desks and watching the empty computer lab all day are eager to talk. You can make friends with them. And at the gym... well, how sweaty are you? Are you willing to do a less strenuous workout in order to meet people? You could try drinking less water beforehand, maybe you'll sweat less, I don't know, I'm not much of a sweater (ha ha). Do you know a lot about lifting weights? I notice a lot of girls at the gym lifting weights the wrong way, but I never say anything because I'm not that confident in my knowledge of proper weight lifting.

Confidence, that is the number one thing. With confidence you are more willing to do things that make you stand out and noticable, or more willing to exploit the ways you stand out anyway (like being freakishly tall like me). If you look interesting, people will want to talk to you!

Watch other people. As soon as you think up an interesting question, hurry up and ask before you chicken out.

The biggest danger is giving yourself to listless empty entertainment, like flopping down and watching TV for hours, not caring about what you're watching. Get up! Get out! There are kids your age who live where you are, who are just as bored as you! And if they have the right attitude, and are getting out and doing stuff then they will be easy to find. I bet some of these kids even go to Syracuse, and will be around next school year.

Here at my internship we live in dorms with a roommate. My roommate eats at the same Chinese restaurant every day, does way more research than he has to, and in his spare time studies for his GRE's. He's on his computer all the time. Me, I go out every day (except the days I was sick and spent the whole time watching the old Spider-Man and X-Men cartoons). I never eat at the same place two days in a row. And whenever I watch TV I feel guilty and whenever I get on the computer it's to talk to friends or do my own research... on which restaurant I want to take the girls I meet!

There are no boring places, and there are no boring situations. There are only boring people.
 

R3N3G4D3

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Well, if you don't drink water you can get dehydrated, which can be very dangerous when working out. Also, I don't like correcting people on their exercises because I don't know if they are doing an exercise wrong or if they are doing a different exercise that looks similar, because with weightlifting doing the same exercise at a different angle starts affecting different muscles. The thing is I don't know what to start talking to them about at the gym, it's easier at the parties where any small talk works or on the street where you can ask for directions.

And the street scene doesn't work too well here either because most people around my area travel in groups, and it would be creepy for me to roam around the neighborhood looking for someone who's alone to befriend. And when I need to go to places that require a lot of traveling I usually use my car anyway.
 

Arioch

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I know you can get dehydrated. But it's a strategy of cross-country runners to not drink water a certain time before running, because they don't want to be drenched in sweat. It's also possible to drink too much water.

There's plenty of things to talk about at the gym. What do they think of that new machine? What's that lift called? What muscles does it emphasize? Or, heck, go to anyplace regularly long enough and you will get to know the regulars.

And you don't need to wander the streets looking for lone people. It's possible to make friends with groups. I approached a group of women intending to talk to one, and wound up showing all three of them around (they were all sisters, I couldn't ditch the others). And you shouldn't wander the streets looking for people anyway. No one wants to make friends with the creepy on the street. They want to make friends with the guy who's kicking ass at the arcade, or the guy who knows a lot about the food at this restaurant. Or the guy who wasn't afraid to walk up to the bored kids drinking beer on the stoop, and interest them with all his fantastic stories.

Look, I'm from a town where there is less to do than you would believe. On any given night, you can go bowling, shoot pool, see a movie, or get drunk with friends, or a combination of those things. People are entertained most by meeting other people, that's why they go to bars and parties and stuff. Well, some people go for music, but you can meet people that way too.

Don't worry about the people. Think about your interests. You will make better friends through your interests than you will meeting random strangers in a bar.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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