Nothing to do with women (nice people talking to you, but they are annoying)

[PeasantPlayer]

This isnt female related, but it can be for someone else. I like to go chill out at a local coffee shop that I frequent to get away, study, listen to music and just gather my thoughts and the occasional people watching and mingle with cute girls. I go there often, but only for an hour a day and so what I do the rest of the day. There is this old guy there who comes there everyday pretty much. I can tell he is lonely and wants someone to talk too, which is cool, but sometimes I don't want to engage in small talk and everytime he sees me he goes on mumbling about the same **** over and over and its just annoying and I don't want to break this lonely old mans heart. His wife passed away a few years ago, so I understand he doesn't really have any friends probably. I don't mind chatting here and there, but when I have my headphones in he will keep talking and it annoys me, or I will give cues that I am busy and can't talk.

Am I the problem? Do I see something in him that I might be doing in my life interacting with people or is this guy annoying as hell? He just irritates me, but he's not a bad dude just annoys me.

And he tries and talks to the young college chicks at the coffee shop and he thinks they all like him, i mean your 70 years old, wake up....lol

 

[logicallefty]

IMO you are not the problem. Talking to him a little was the right thing to do. But I find it very rude when I have headphones in or for that matter am clearly focused on a task and people want to interrupt me with pointless chatter. Interruption is disrespectful.

 

[l__i__l]

Be assertive and say - "I need to get some work done, we'll have a chat another time."

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Thanks for the replies, this is in general to. People don't know when to step back from the boundary and read other peoples social cues. I was chatting up this cute college chick one time and he intervened. I was laughing inside, but I was jesus if I was 70 i would def see the big picture and go to backpage lol. Oh well its cool. I'll be more assertive

 

[SmooveMooves]

I personally think one of the best signs of confidence is not doing something-- simply because I don't feel like it.

This.

Too many people are scared to communicate their desires. And spend a lot of time operating on someone elses.

The solution here is simple. There are polite ways to tell someone you don't want to talk. After a conversation, I would simply state

'Alright, now I gotta get some work done, If we keep talking I'll never finish (playful tone).'

That there should end the convo and you can continue unbothered.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

This.

Too many people are scared to communicate their desires. And spend a lot of time operating on someone elses.

The solution here is simple. There are polite ways to tell someone you don't want to talk. After a conversation, I would simply state

'Alright, now I gotta get some work done, If we keep talking I'll never finish (playful tone).'

That there should end the convo and you can continue unbothered.

Usually do this, but damn it seems like everybody annoys me nowadays I need my introvert moments of solitude, I expect people to pick up the cues/body language of me not wanting to talk. Whatever i'll adjust, thanks for the replies

 

[Mot1veProgress]

To be very blunt and harsh, stop being a pu$$y. If you can't control a situation you're in by using communication and body language, you got some work to do!

Like @|_|_| said, be assertive and tell him you're not interested in talking. What do you think, he's going to cry?