The case that was instrumental for me in realising that (or part of it) was that I had been in a (that) situation when I was with a group of friends (students) and we had eaten at someone's place. It was a girl's only student residence. As we left the room and headed for the door as a group, there was a girl standing about 10 meters away in the hallway observing us. I realized immediately she was horny as fvck. I had so wanted to do something with that. But I chastised myself for not walking up to her. But how could I? I couldn't just leave that group of friends, and it would be seen as rather needy and creepy as well to walk up to a girl like that.
I realized much later the solution was not to walk up to her, but have her come to me. She might have been interested and it would have been more fun.
So I killed myself for not doing something when in the end what I had wanted to do was stupid and I was right not to do it. You can trust yourself much better than you think. Usually when you are mad at yourself for not doing something there are very good reasons why you didn't do it.
And you may not notice at the time but as you grow older you start to recognise how utterly sane you've been in most circumstances, and when you pushed yourself to do what you thought was required, is when you turned insane.
I have never liked this adage or idiom of "action, action, action, no matter what" and whenever I really pushed myself to speak to a girl no matter how silly I looked or that she just smirked at me and thought me a weirdo or whatever, those kinds of "doing better than you thought you could" have never resulted in real results. Pushing yourself harder than you can makes you unnatural. Letting yourself proceed naturally is often the best choice, or at least the choice that doesn't produce weird results.
I got into so much trouble because of the things I thought I needed to do ;-). It gives your mind more peace and let's you focus on the things that are most important, which is always the most sure path to success; the thing that works out in the long run.
Those "action, action, action" adages only serve to focus on the single moment you are in now. But life is also about building yourself and getting ahead in the game through long effort and joyful exercise. It is not about doing impossible things. It's about having goals that others believe are impossible and yet you believe in them; it's about what you believe is possible; and THAT you can go after. But don't do things you yourself think and feel and know are impossible, you'll make yourself look silly and stupid. ;-).
I realized much later the solution was not to walk up to her, but have her come to me. She might have been interested and it would have been more fun.
So I killed myself for not doing something when in the end what I had wanted to do was stupid and I was right not to do it. You can trust yourself much better than you think. Usually when you are mad at yourself for not doing something there are very good reasons why you didn't do it.
And you may not notice at the time but as you grow older you start to recognise how utterly sane you've been in most circumstances, and when you pushed yourself to do what you thought was required, is when you turned insane.
I have never liked this adage or idiom of "action, action, action, no matter what" and whenever I really pushed myself to speak to a girl no matter how silly I looked or that she just smirked at me and thought me a weirdo or whatever, those kinds of "doing better than you thought you could" have never resulted in real results. Pushing yourself harder than you can makes you unnatural. Letting yourself proceed naturally is often the best choice, or at least the choice that doesn't produce weird results.
I got into so much trouble because of the things I thought I needed to do ;-). It gives your mind more peace and let's you focus on the things that are most important, which is always the most sure path to success; the thing that works out in the long run.
Those "action, action, action" adages only serve to focus on the single moment you are in now. But life is also about building yourself and getting ahead in the game through long effort and joyful exercise. It is not about doing impossible things. It's about having goals that others believe are impossible and yet you believe in them; it's about what you believe is possible; and THAT you can go after. But don't do things you yourself think and feel and know are impossible, you'll make yourself look silly and stupid. ;-).