not understanding feelings and doing things logically my story

[mackdaddy27]

Not having the foresight to see what really is important vs just money is the lesson I took away from this story. Which i just want to get off my chest. Sometimes, its the things you can't see or can't understand the value of, that leads one to make decisions that are antogonistic....heres the story.

Last week, me and gf had made plans to go on a business trip/vacation on a tropical destination. The deal we had made was that she was going to pay for the tickets for the event and I was going to pay the flight tickets. When we get there she tells me that she doesn't have money, because she had to pay her rent early and she wants me to pay she will pay me back. So , be being the ******* that I criticized her and basically treated her badly during our trip ( looking back I truely feel disgusted by my own actions and if I had the foresight to look back at what I would have lost by acting without care I wouldn't have never acted this way and I actually regret it)

The point is, in her mind, the money wasn't as important, for her, it was the experience of us togeter. I took foregranted all the feelings she was giving me and showing me, During the trip, she would press my clothes proir to our convention, and she would literally wash , style my hair, ( shes a hair stylish) everyday and she would sleep right on top of me every night. It felt like -- the point of her attention -- was me. And she had given her self wholly to me. After my actions, that concept as me as the point of her attention , was quickly broken and she probably is looking past me to her other tasks,

The argument with her cause her usual jovial, and wild and funny self to become more restrained quiet and less expressive of her feelings to me during the rest of the trip. I work in the world of logical and of course I can be negative, she is usually very postive in her outlook in life, and I think by causing this arguement with her over a situation which she had no real control over, I caused her to succumb to my negative, perhaps or temporaily damping this great trip
we had together, hopefully not damping her spirits ..for the long term. I don't know.

i definetly took 'her feelings for me' for gratted. I hadn't realized how much she really cared for me, until I lost it.

the point is, when she loses feeling for you... you may or may not get it back for ever. the point is, you have to ask youself is it really worth the aggrevation of a few hundred dollars to lose something so valuable?

Yes she still talks to me and were still going 'out', but the point is, will it ever be like before? Maybe me or not, but one thing is for sure , the lessson I learned from this, is that you have to more sensitive, and mindful of the things you can, and not everything in the world is about money.

I could have handled this in a more PUA-minded way by saying "you have to pay me back" or something like that and letting it go at that point.

 

[mackdaddy27]

You two fly all the way to your tropical island and she says "oh, yeah, about the money I agreed to bring to fund a portion of our planned events....ummmmm, yeah, I don't have it."

You got tooled bro and here you are telling us how terrible you are for actually expecting more from a woman who is supposedly committed to you?

Please tell me this is all a sick joke...please. You hadn't realized how much she really cared for you? This has to be a joke.

She played you for a sucker and here you are apologizing. Bro, you should of dumped her on the island and had her return flight ticket refunded for cash to fund the nightclubs.

this is the best alpha atitude... I guess my point is that its very hard to get a girl to act this way to you, and is it worth to lose a girl having feelings for you over a few hundred bucks?

 

[WC2]

Honestly, scum bag move on her part. If you were somewhere where you could just get up and leave and go back home, I would have.

In your case, that's a little tougher.

You probably did the right thing by giving her some hell about it at first, but it seems to me as she legitimately did want to have a good time with you, and just didn't have the balls to tell you that she couldn't afford it. Sure, she was kissing your ass just to try to make things more enjoyable, but isn't that the idea?

A lot of guys will say "oh she tooled you" or "man what a snake" but when it comes down to it, it's all about being happy right?

It was very possible for you to be angry for maybe a day or so and pop back into reality and make this a good vacation, correct?

Don't get me wrong, afterwards I would have laid down some bylaws to her such as NEVER lie to me again or I'll just move on to someone else. But that's all that's needed to be said. This ongoing arguing will do nothing but make both your lives miserable.

I think your hindsight is very accurate; you probably did ruin what could have been a good trip by letting her shortcomings affect you.

What has happened has happened. Relationships have ups and downs.. there may very well be more ups in your future or there very may well be no relationship at all in your future. Only time can tell.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Bad timing.

I would have given her hell too, AFTER. When I'm stuck with someone, I don't pull anything and instead try to be diplomatic for the time I'm with them.

 

[mackdaddy27]

Bad timing.

I would have given her hell too, AFTER. When I'm stuck with someone, I don't pull anything and instead try to be diplomatic for the time I'm with them.

thanks