Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Not the Marrying kind?

Roly

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Alright guys, Im pretty young for this forum, and there's no way in hell im ready to get married, but I found this topic to be interesting. I was given this article in my composition class, some parts I agree but I feel this had a feministic tone to it. What do you guys think?


Not the Marrying kind:


"A man who claimed had been married more than twenty times was on a talk show. Someone asked him what was wrong with him that he could not keep any of his wives. He said each time he married he thought he had found Mrs. Right, but that something always went wrong. The man had no idea that he was probably the kind of person who should never get married. There are people who should never get married.

Selfish people should not get married. People who are selfish are unhappy whenever they cannot have their own way. They always want the most and best of everything for themselves. Marriage partners have to share everything. Married people must also respect each other's feelings. Selfish people never try to understand the feelings of others. They believe they should always do and say whatever they want. Being selfish means being only for one's self. Being married means being for one's self and for one's partner. Selfish people are just not the type to be happily married.

Immature people should also remain single. Immature people usually do what seems fun or interesting at the time. They are not ready to face the responsiblities of being adults. It is almost impossible to depend on an immature person for anything. Marriage cannot last, however, unless both partners can depend on each other. Immature people often act without thinking about the consequences. They can get themselves and their mates into big trouble. For example, many immature people cannot manage money or credit, so they lose their homes and everything they own. Marriage is based on trust, but immature people cannot be trusted to make decisions or to carry out plans. Anyone who has not rown up, regardless of age, is not ready to get married.

Marriage is for people who do not know how to communicate. Marriage Parnters have to be honest to understand each other. Good communicators are willing to try to talk things out. They know how to listen to their partner's ideas and how to respect the feelings of others. Marriage counselors have found that many abusive people are not good communicators. They scream, pouts, and uses physical violence is not able to live in peace with another person.

Jelous people should not marry. People who are jelous never believe anyone could love them. But love would not be enough for the jealous person anyway. Jealousy makes people want to own their mates the way someone owns a car or pet. Some jealous people, especially men, are violent. Some keep their mates locked up or follow them everywhere. The mate of a jealous person could not have a moment's happiness. That is why jealous people should not marry.

Before individuals think of getting married, they should understand themselves. If they are selfish, immatuer, unable to communicate or jealous, they should not get married without taking the time and effore to make some very big personality changes. On the other hand, some people should never get married at all."
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Kid Quick

Don Juan
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You're right, you are young for this forum. According to your profile you haven't turned 20.

What part of "at least 25 years old" is so difficult for people to understand? It's listed prominently on the Mature Man board description. For those under 25 your "wisdom" is neither wanted nor needed on the Mature Man board.

Mods, general discussion, please?
 

Skel

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I dont get it either. The 16 year olds are posting in the regular DJ forum. I dont remember it saying High school forum. Annoying...
 

ElChoclo

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Maybe nobody should get married.

I saw a documentary about the Turkish Shahs and it said that at the peak of the harem culture the Shah had 600 concubines/consorts in his harem. At any given time there were a number of children being born to him. One of them had a mother who liked to run the show. When the young Shah got too attached to one of his wives, she started encouraging him to mix it up. One of the Shah's sisters decided that variety was the answer to his monogamous tendencies and got 2 concubines to dance for him.

He couldn't resist the 2 for 1 offer and after that became really interested in sex.

Was the Shah selfish? Yes. Was he a good communicator? No, mostly he sent messages via his eunachs. Was he mature? Who knows? Sometimes he took a lot of advice from his mother, but in his position it didn't really matter.

The point of all this? You have to define how you want marriage to work before you describe suitable applicants. In modern industrial countries the definition of the roles and duties results in a dud deal for the man. Modern marriage as understood by television watchers has really only been around less than 100 years. Less time than the Shahs were around I suppose.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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