Not sure what I want.

[rhcp83]

I seem to be at a crossroads...I know with absolute certainty that I don't want to sleep with a bunch of different women. I have a low sex drive to begin with/hardly ever masturbate anymore and also am picky about looks to begin with...a quality over quantity guy.

But I don't want to get tied down in a relationship with the next girl I meet either.

To be honest, I seem to just want a gun for hire of sorts, only free...a woman I can fool around with/have sex with...and also can be arm candy at family parties and such. I don't really desire a "deep connection" at this point in my life...just want the perks of having a girlfriend without the relationship bs (arguing, misunderstandings, boring dates, talks about "where is this going?" or "love.")

Am I making any sense?

 

[perseverance]

You want a Friends with benefits situation by the looks of things.

 

[rhcp83]

Doing some more thinking about it, I think you're right. The thing is, since I haven't had sex (I've done everything else) and I have a low sex drive, what I'm really craving is the making out/tit/ass play/cuddling etc. When prudy girls say "Oh guys just want sex" are they including that stuff, too, or are they more liberal about doing that stuff? (I'm talking right from the get-go.)

The girls I've dated have done that stuff, but more so to satisfy me since they liked me, than actually them wanting to do it. I want a woman that likes making out/being felt up and such, and without lame dinner or coffee dates.

It seems my friends (and these aren't AFCs either, these are guys in the field who cold approach and pull numbers and dates out of it) go on these dinner/coffee dates then come home without even a kiss. I'm more so looking for a woman that wants to have a fun action type date, walk around somewhere nice, get a drink or something, then fool around.

So is this sort of thing possible with a HB?

 

[perseverance]

You need to get rid of your hang up about not having sex yet. You're making a mountain out of a molehill, when there is no need. There is no age that you have to lose it by, it's up to you when, where and with whom you lose your plates to.

Don't listen to what a woman says, judge her by actions. What a woman says is usually different to what a woman actually does. :crackup:

There are women who will sleep with someone on a first date, providing the chemistry is there and you build sexual rapport with her. You need to escalate and you need to use kino and other techniques to build that rapport further. Make her laugh, make her feel comfortable, go in for the kiss and see what happens. Not all girls will put out on the first date, but it does just depend on the girl.

As for the date, it's upto you what you do on your date, it's your date and you're the boss. So if sitting in a coffee shop is not your ideal way to spend a date and walking through town is, then do that. Dates can be as mellow or wild as you want them to be.

As for the whole HB thing, I don't use it anymore. I use the 0-1 scale. 0 means I am not interested and 1 means I am interested. So if I think a girl is good looking and I like her personality and get on well with her she's a 1. If I am attracted to a girl and she has a bland personality and we don't have chemistry then she's a 0.