Not sure what I want.

[LittleRiverBand]

I always saw myself as a relationship guy, and I can see myself at one point (meaning in my 30s or 40s) settling down with one woman who's physically attractive enough and shares the same values (doesn't want kids, wants an independent, fun lifestyle with vacations and fine living.)

I know a couple who are in their early 50s, both fit and in shape, don't look a day older than 39, don't have any kids, and they're the happiest married couple I know. They live in a middle class area of an affluent town and they seem like a teenage couple and they're both incredibly nice people. That's what I want when I'm older.

For now, though, I'm not sure what the hell I want. I know that I'm a more emotional/sensitive/romantic guy than most. I'm not an AFC that tells women "how I feel about her" or anything like that, but with the last girl I dated when we fooled around I seemed to enjoy the cuddling and kissing more than the giving or receiving of oral or anything else. (We didn't have sex, never got to that point.)

When I see people in movies having sex, I like when the two people are cuddling talking about stupid, random **** and the guy watches the girl walk out of bed and staring at her a$$.

I don't watch what most guys consider "porn" at all and feel somewhat sorry for the people involved. I look at the women as sluts, not because they're having sex but because of the way they're having it.

All of this being said, while it sounds like I'm an LTR guy that wants passionate sex, I'm not sure if at this point in my life I could be exclusive to one girl. If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't cheat on her but I'm a guy that has wandering eyes.

I enjoy going to the local shopping mall on the weekends and seeing if there are any hotties and if there's one that strikes my fancy, approaching her. I like the idea that I could be out with my buddies one day and see a HB10 and get her number.

So I'm not sure if I'm just a guy that wants emotional f*** buddies or a guy that belongs with one woman at this point in my life.

 

[WC2]

Settle your thoughts.

To me it sounds like you're so mixed up in your own head that you can't even keep track of what's passing you by.

There is no reason and I mean NO reason to start considering your future romantically without any romantic interest in your life at the present time.

Things change. Your beliefs change. You may not want kids or a lot of sex in a relationship right now, but individuals change. We don't know that the next broad we meet is going to be completely compatible with us, so why make the effort to worry about it?

I've found the women who I least thought would work with me have worked the BEST. I tend to believe this is because other people can open up other perspectives we've never even considered.

While you're sitting her contemplating your future wife, able men are out there MEETING their future mates without them even knowing it.

Ever meet the guy at the bar who is looking for that perfect girl? And you come back a year later and he's STILL looking for that perfect girl why others pass him by? Don't be THAT guy.

If you shape your own perfect women in your head long enough, you'll never meet one that fufills your ever desire.

I'm a little stumped as far as the sex question goes. Maybe you just haven't had a great sexual relationship? I think I was that guy back in highschool, and don't get me wrong I love some 1on1 time with my chick, but a highly explosive sexual relationship that compliments a regular fun relationship is the greatest feeling in the world.

If I were you I'd be a little more open minded and let the chips fall as they may.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

Well lookswise I'll admit I'm a stickler. I like thin white women, usually brunettes. Can't help that I'm not attracted to non-causcasians. Personally wise you're right, I have no idea what kind of personality is good for me.

The last girl I dated at first seemed good but turned out to be horribly wrong. On one hand, she wasn't a party girl or attention ***** and seemed to be oblivious to the fact that she was attractive (good stuff) but the rest didn't fit. Just because she wasn't a high-maintenance b*tch didn't make her a fit. We disagreed all the time and started to get at each other's throats.

But lookswise, I think everyone knows what they like. I'm open to a blonde or redhead even though I like brunettes, but I can't help that I don't like chubby girls or fat girls. I've seen naked overweight women in porn and up close and it's almost as bad as seeing a naked man.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

Let me also say that I am open minded about dating and sex. I just feel that long term (meaning a relationship lasting years or marriage) while there has to be sufficient physical and sexual attraction, that compatibility and the ability to communicate with one another is more important.

That girl I went on the date with isn't the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, but she was cute enough and we talked for 2 hours and not once did she ask any stupid "What do you do for a job?" "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" or "How much money do you make?" questions. We just talked about random stuff. And that's what I want long term.

Could another type of woman come around and take me by surprise? Possibly and I wouldn't count it out. But the whole "I club every weekend with the girls, get my nails done like it's my second job and flirt with a lot of guys" isn't my idea of a girlfriend or LTR.

That being said, right now I'm just focused on dating and sex, not worried about that LTR 10. My problem however is I don't have it in me to lie to women or tell them what they want to hear to bed them. When they ask questions and seem to want to meet their dream guy I don't acccomodate by spinning the truth but I'm starting to think maybe I should.

The girl I dated for a while I didn't take the bull by the horns and make the sex happen. She said she wanted to wait so I never bothered carrying condoms when around her. Not to play Monday Morning Quarterback but if I had it to do again I would have had condoms ready and at least attempted to take her panties off.

So I'm willing now to lie to get what I want if it's just one time sex. I never wanted to be the guy to hurt woman's feelings, but the whole nice guy thing might work in an LTR but not with getting laid.

I need advice on how to "dress up" my situation to women so they think they met their match and will do anything to please him and before they know it I'm onto the next woman.

 

[Commandante]

You have never fvcked a woman before, but you are thinking about how it would be being 50 years old and being in a funny LTR? Why? Because you think too much about the future, too much in general. That´s your problem.

You have to live in this moment. If you live in the future you are like a child - "I want to be an adult and do the things only adults are allowed to". If you live in the past you are like old people - "Oh, the ´70s, it was so beautiful...". Sounds good? Not really!

Go and enjoy the moment! If you are bored than go and try out something new!

 

[Commandante]

Let me also say that I am open minded about...

Bloody hell, you aren´t. Belive me, you aren´t! You think that this and that and BS and bla bla bla is important and/or good for you. Have you ever tried? No! Than go and try it! If you like it, is good for you. If you don´t, than it´s a good experience. But sitting around on the coach and thinking won´t help you. Don´t think that much!