Not sure if she wants to just be a FB or get in a relationship

[montybrown]

Ive been banging this chick for a few weeks now and whenever we are out with each other we always hold hands and do bf/gf things. However, she constantly tells me that shes single. Of course im not going to ask her to be exclusive since thats her job. I kinda want to be in a relationship with her but i think she is afraid. She tells me she was with another guy but not officialy with him but they split because he is a druggie.

She asks me questions like if im such a great boyfriend why didnt me and my ex last. I stayed such a mystery to her that she always asks me to tell her more about me because she told me everything about herself. I told her i normally never tell girls personal things about me but ill tell her bits about me. I think im playing my cards right but i just cant tell if we eventually will get into a LTR or we just be FBs? Is there anything i should ask her to confirm what we are? I asked her who else she is foolin around with and if im the only one shes bangin. She says that i am but im taking it with a grain of salt. I want us to be exclusive.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Just ask her if she wants to be exclusive. You are already fvcking anyways. If she doesn't want to be exclusive then, you will stay FB's. It's a win, win situation here.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys shouldn't bring it up, there's always a chance of upturning the boat especially if you're not in the "just friends" category. Women will let you know if and when they want the exclusivity of a relationship.

 

[yogy]

Ive been banging this chick for a few weeks now and whenever we are out with each other we always hold hands and do bf/gf things. However, she constantly tells me that shes single. Of course im not going to ask her to be exclusive since thats her job. I kinda want to be in a relationship with her but i think she is afraid. She tells me she was with another guy but not officialy with him but they split because he is a druggie.

She asks me questions like if im such a great boyfriend why didnt me and my ex last. I stayed such a mystery to her that she always asks me to tell her more about me because she told me everything about herself. I told her i normally never tell girls personal things about me but ill tell her bits about me. I think im playing my cards right but i just cant tell if we eventually will get into a LTR or we just be FBs? Is there anything i should ask her to confirm what we are? I asked her who else she is foolin around with and if im the only one shes bangin. She says that i am but im taking it with a grain of salt. I want us to be exclusive.

I am in exactly the same situation...

Guys shouldn't bring it up, there's always a chance of upturning the boat especially if you're not in the "just friends" category. Women will let you know if and when they want the exclusivity of a relationship.

I agree,but should you just wait for her to decide ???I do have other girls (so It's not like I am exclusive right now),but if you really want this FB to evolve to a LTR ???

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I agree,but should you just wait for her to decide ???I do have other girls (so It's not like I am exclusive right now),but if you really want this FB to evolve to a LTR ???

Think about it, she's going to need to decide regardless. Now you could bring it up and chance bringing it up at the wrong time or you could wait and let her bring it up with the only possible issue possibly being you losing interest. It's just one of the things you may have to contend with when you spin plates (it could be worse ).

You could spur the process along by beginning to treat your relationship with her as something other than friends with benefits. If you don't she wouldn't necessarily see you as possible as being a guy who could provide anything more than immediate gratification. This doesn't mean dropping into AFC mode, just being a bit more broad in your interactions with her.

 

[DavenJuan]

Think about it, she's going to need to decide regardless. Now you could bring it up and chance bringing it up at the wrong time or you could wait and let her bring it up with the only possible issue possibly being you losing interest. It's just one of the things you may have to contend with when you spin plates (it could be worse ).

You could spur the process along by beginning to treat your relationship with her as something other than friends with benefits. If you don't she wouldn't necessarily see you as possible as being a guy who could provide anything more than immediate gratification. This doesn't mean dropping into AFC mode, just being a bit more broad in your interactions with her.

agreed..

couple other things.. when women ask you why this and why that about past relationships, the only thing she needs to know is that YOU were not satisfied and the ex didnt live up to what you expected from her.

simple as that.

as far as the being exclusive. you shouldnt ask at all. eventually she will either make it clear that you all are just friends, FBs, or if she wants you to ask HER. either way you will know when.

until then, let her enjoy your company and have a good time.

 

[montybrown]

the thing that confuses me is that she says she is single but shes so concerned at my loyalty kinda like testing the waters. I mean there must be a reason shes letting me bang her for free even though she tells me right now theres no chemistry between us yet. If i were to bring up another girl to her and tell her im seeing/going out with other girls she wouldnt like it and probably stop letting me bang her. I guess ill just keep doing what im doing and wait for her to ask me. Since i have my own place she is gonna be staying over a lot more often which might evolve into her moving in since right now shes rooming with a friend.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Forget about the moving in together part. Don't fall for that. Just "hangout" with her 2-3 times a week, and go do stuff with her, and she'll eventually think you are in a LTR and bring it up.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

the thing that confuses me is that she says she is single but shes so concerned at my loyalty kinda like testing the waters. I mean there must be a reason shes letting me bang her for free even though she tells me right now theres no chemistry between us yet. If i were to bring up another girl to her and tell her im seeing/going out with other girls she wouldnt like it and probably stop letting me bang her. I guess ill just keep doing what im doing and wait for her to ask me. Since i have my own place she is gonna be staying over a lot more often which might evolve into her moving in since right now shes rooming with a friend.

Whoa, there seems to be a lot more going on; none the less everything about letting her bring it up still holds true. A couple of things though:

1. She's playing the anti-slut defence. No need to question why, women just do that when they allow themselves to capitalize on their own sexual gratification. As for the single thing, that just means that she hasn't come around to bringing up the topic "officially."
2. Her being concerned with your loyalty is just in line with her considering you as something more than just FBs but again, it's not official.
3. As for bringing up other women, don't. She doesn't need to know about your social life but at the same time don't allow her to believe that she is your social life.
4. Her deal about "chemistry" is probably because she feels that chemistry is something that only people in relationships have. You don't need to be official to have chemistry although it does go beyond just seminal fluid.
5. As for having her spend more time at your place that's a good way to set her a bit above your other spinning plates. However, I'd challenge her motives if she's looking at you for you to be a new roommate. At most I'd give her a box where she could keep her toiletries when she's at your place. Nothing big, just something you could quickly stow in the closet when you're entertaining someone else.