"Not ready for anything right now"

[techdee]

Hi,

What is everyone's take on the "not ready for anything right now" reply?

If the chick has just gotten out of a long term relationship (unfaithful boyfriend) and gives this reply, would you see it as a easy rejection excuse or as a genuine reason for wanting time out before dating again?

Maybe it shows low IL in the first place?

If anyone has come across this situation, i would be interested in hearing your experiences.

 

[Lifeforce]

I met a girl who threw me this line, she had been beaten by her last boyfriend, or at least I suspected from her behavior. Anyway, I nexted her. This is the thing to do, if she isn't ready, then don't force her, if she is not interested, then it doesn't matter.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by techdee
Hi,

What is everyone's take on the "not ready for anything right now" reply?

If the chick has just gotten out of a long term relationship (unfaithful boyfriend) and gives this reply, would you see it as a easy rejection excuse or as a genuine reason for wanting time out before dating again?

Maybe it shows low IL in the first place?

If anyone has come across this situation, i would be interested in hearing your experiences.

Depends on when she says it. If it's at the first meet when you ask for her number/date, then I'd say it's most likely she's not interested.

She may legitimately "not be ready for anything", but what that means to me is "you haven't impressed me enough for me to be willing to take a chance with you right now."

 

[Hollowpoint]

Exactly.

 

[techdee]

Ok, just a clarification, this girl is from college and we have known each other for a few months now. However, it was not until recently that we have gotten to know each other better.

So essentially I have known her since she was going out with her boyfriend. We never spoke about him, it was only mentioned once.

I recently asked her out without knowing that she had broken up with her boyfriend, and i only did so based purely upon my perception of her interest level (which to me seemed high).

So i called to arrange a date the other day and that was when she told me about the breakup and how she 'didn't want anything right now'. She said all this with a pretty shaky voice.

My plan is to just give it a another 2 weeks before trying again. If she gives another excuse this time, i will just next her.

Do you guys think that this changes the situation in any way? Is this the best way to go about it?

 

[Slickster]

It means "Not interested".

It means she goes to the bottom of your list.

She's not "off" the list but you don't even waste a second thought on her.

Move on.

 

[NatureGuy]

It's not uncommon for someone to feel that way just after a breakup.
You may have a chance with her - wait the two weeks and try again. From my experience though, two weeks may not be long enough.

 

[techdee]

It appears to me that she was hurt pretty bad by the last relationship and needs time.....but only NatureGuy seems to agree with me.

Has nobody actually experienced a situation similiar to this one?

I think i'm suffering oneitis

 

[Lifeforce]

Originally posted by techdee
It appears to me that she was hurt pretty bad by the last relationship and needs time.....but only NatureGuy seems to agree with me.

Has nobody actually experienced a situation similiar to this one?

I think i'm suffering oneitis

Don't wait for her goddamn it, you will only be thinking about her and forming an illusion in your head. If fate want you together you will met again and it will work. Just next her, she is UNDATEABLE!

 

[NatureGuy]

Has nobody actually experienced a situation similiar to this one?

I have. You have to be patient. But DO NOT fall into oneitis and DO pursue other opportunities. Never let yourself hang on desperately to one unresolved relationship (nor to one job, one track in life, and so on) Patience and flexibility is the key with all of these things. Be confident in yourself.