Chubbs Peterson
Senior Don Juan
(This may or may not be moved to the "Success Stories" forum, but I wanted to drop this quick note of gratitude and positivity...)
I honestly want to thank everyone on this site, including whoever started it, for creating this forum. My relationship with my last EX-Girlfriend is the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" and is what brought me to this discussion board in the first place. And if it wasn't for the advice and discussions here, I would not have any clue how to deal with tonights situation.
Basically, I learned that my EX-GF would be attending a mutual friend's birthday party tonight. She probably also knew that I was going to be attending because our names were on an internet invitation list. We haven't seen each other in 5 months. We haven't had any communication in 3 months. the possiblility of seeing her at tonight's party made me initially apprehensive.
The OLD Chubbs Peterson would have simply avoided tonight's party specifically to avoid running into the Ex-GF. The NEW me realized that I should NOT let an EX stop me from doing something that I would have done anyways. So I decided to attend.
I wanted to bring a girl I was dating, but she was unavailable, so I brought an old buddy of mine for support. I walked into the bar where the party was being held and walked past my EX who was sitting down in the dark and didn't say anything to me, so I walked past her again later (She was sitting in a dark corner so I wasn't 100% sure it was her, that's why I walked back later, but I am positive she saw me.)
So I sat down next to her.
She was in the middle of a conversation with a girlfriend of hers, but she kept rubbing her hand against my leg to keep me around to talk. After about a minute her girlfriend left and we talked for only a couple of minutes. I tried to keep the conversation positive (which ain't easy with her) and ended up talking about her recent favorite movie "Amelie" which she really identifies with and loves. She was excited talking about it. Just then, my buddy comes up to us and pulls me away from her: I had told my buddy in advance to do this so that I wouldn't spend too much time talking to her as well as giving me a "legitimate" excuse to leave. I told her I had to go and she seemed a bit surprised and then I left.
And the crazy thing is, I didn't feel that "tingle" that she used to give me. This is a good thing.
Her effect on me has finally started wearing off. Thank God.
Granted, this is NOT THE GREATEST success story in the world, nor is it the smoothest exit, but for ME tonight was a BIG step as far as dealing with former girlfiends. In the past I would have COMPLETELY avoided going to the party and in doing so given her the satisfaction that she still has an effect on me. Tonight I (sort of) left her hanging.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I faced my fear of seeing her and tried to deal with it and handle it. And this would not have been possible without the things I learned from this discussion board. Thanks to the excellent advice on sosuave.com, I am WILLING to take my lumps and licks on the road to becoming stronger man. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY LEADING ME DOWN THE RIGHT PATH. You are all capable of doing great things and I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Chubbs Peterson
---With my eyes on the prize.
I honestly want to thank everyone on this site, including whoever started it, for creating this forum. My relationship with my last EX-Girlfriend is the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" and is what brought me to this discussion board in the first place. And if it wasn't for the advice and discussions here, I would not have any clue how to deal with tonights situation.
Basically, I learned that my EX-GF would be attending a mutual friend's birthday party tonight. She probably also knew that I was going to be attending because our names were on an internet invitation list. We haven't seen each other in 5 months. We haven't had any communication in 3 months. the possiblility of seeing her at tonight's party made me initially apprehensive.
The OLD Chubbs Peterson would have simply avoided tonight's party specifically to avoid running into the Ex-GF. The NEW me realized that I should NOT let an EX stop me from doing something that I would have done anyways. So I decided to attend.
I wanted to bring a girl I was dating, but she was unavailable, so I brought an old buddy of mine for support. I walked into the bar where the party was being held and walked past my EX who was sitting down in the dark and didn't say anything to me, so I walked past her again later (She was sitting in a dark corner so I wasn't 100% sure it was her, that's why I walked back later, but I am positive she saw me.)
So I sat down next to her.
She was in the middle of a conversation with a girlfriend of hers, but she kept rubbing her hand against my leg to keep me around to talk. After about a minute her girlfriend left and we talked for only a couple of minutes. I tried to keep the conversation positive (which ain't easy with her) and ended up talking about her recent favorite movie "Amelie" which she really identifies with and loves. She was excited talking about it. Just then, my buddy comes up to us and pulls me away from her: I had told my buddy in advance to do this so that I wouldn't spend too much time talking to her as well as giving me a "legitimate" excuse to leave. I told her I had to go and she seemed a bit surprised and then I left.
And the crazy thing is, I didn't feel that "tingle" that she used to give me. This is a good thing.
Her effect on me has finally started wearing off. Thank God.
Granted, this is NOT THE GREATEST success story in the world, nor is it the smoothest exit, but for ME tonight was a BIG step as far as dealing with former girlfiends. In the past I would have COMPLETELY avoided going to the party and in doing so given her the satisfaction that she still has an effect on me. Tonight I (sort of) left her hanging.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I faced my fear of seeing her and tried to deal with it and handle it. And this would not have been possible without the things I learned from this discussion board. Thanks to the excellent advice on sosuave.com, I am WILLING to take my lumps and licks on the road to becoming stronger man. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY LEADING ME DOWN THE RIGHT PATH. You are all capable of doing great things and I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Chubbs Peterson
---With my eyes on the prize.
