Not pressing the date, but still...getting one

[LeMac]

So..basically, I asked a girl if she wanted to do somethign Saturday night, she said she didn't know and that we'd talk later.

I don't want to come off as desperate so I'm thinking I definitely won't press anymore for this weekend. I don't think it was meant as a rejection, but rather she actually didn't know. (briefly, she's foreign, living with hosts...so she'd have to deal with that first of all)

I need to actually go out with this girl though, have some quality alone time. And I need to do it quick, since she's got another competitor who's moving fast. (in an earlier conversation she did say she was down for going out and doing something)

Anyways, what would be the best way to approach this? Key things are no desperation, but without a long delay (as in, I'm worried a full week until next weekend would be too long).

 

[Mr. Cardio]

WTF, is wrong with you guys!!! Be the fvcking dominant male dude, that is what women are attracted to, that is what gets them horny, read gunwitchs material, god damn it with the dumb shyt, you guys have all this access to this information, yet you are still chumps, wtf.

 

[tmpgstx]

You just can't worry about it LeMec. Now is a perfect time to bow out for awhile - get her thinking about you a little, afterall, absence makes the heart grow fonder, especially if she has some attraction to you.

Let the other guy make some mistakes, which he undoubtly will or may not. You're taking a risk, but you have to. You put yourself out there a bit and she knows it. Keep your respect and be kewl. You might be surprised.

 

[LeMac]

Where are you located man, it's like 2AM here (lots of work)?

Anyways, thing is..I just really started talking to her earlier this week. She knew who I was earlier, but I started talking on the phone with her (2 times this week, once tuesday, once today, 20 minutes each. 3 days from getting number to first call). There IS a good chance the other guy will **** up or move on, he's a player, and moves between girls really quickly. But, I pretend to be his friend and find out some info that way...from the way he talks, it seems he's got more respect for this girl.

Like, I basically just don't want to leave her be with him for too long. They've already hooked up (just kissing), but apparently they aren't together or anything.

Um...so yeah. I think I will have to bow out this weekend (f she actually calls me, doubtful, but if...I think I'll even say no). Tommorow if I see her I'll try to work in some kino, and then I just won't talk to her again until Monday.

 

[tmpgstx]

Tomorrow if you see her, just don't respond to her unless she does to you. If you keep chasing her or putting yourself out there even in a flirty way, she'll know she can have you anytime. It won't give her much incentive to stop hooking up with this other guy. Why would she? If she already likes both of you but he is getting more action, she'll continue with him because you don't present any challenge. We all know attractive women like challenge, it gets them passionate.

 

[thederekeffect1]

I don't mean to bring you down, but this guy already won. From what I read, he sounds like the dominant male.

This other guy already made out with her. And YOU didn't even get a date! Besides, you already kind of admitted that he's the more dominant male when you said "He has more respect for her".

You can't win them all, man. Instead of worrying about what your next move is going to be (because honestly, anymore moves and you're going to be in a deeper hole), take a step back and take note of what he did right and what you did wrong.

It's time to stop "acting" like you're his friend, and start being his friend. Because like you said, he IS a player. He moves from one girl to the next. And you could learn a few things from him.

You may have lost the girl, but you gained a resource.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

See what gets interesting here is that I know exactly what this guy is talking about. I've asked many girls out with them saying "Uhhh I dunno, I might be busy that day." and then she'll be very aloof about it when I say that she should catch up with me that day.

Then when they just ignore me, I stop talking to them and never hear from them again. Like wtf is that all about hey? So I don't think it's only guys being AFC as there's something else at work.

And where it gets more interesting is that with each girl I ask, I try something new and different and still meet resistance. So I'm still learning, but I've tried both the "want to hang out on saturday?" and "There's a new cafe I'm thinking about checking out saturday, you should come." to outright saying "I have free time friday night, I want you to come and won't take no for an answer." Still each one of those met with resistance...

 

[LeMac]

Originally posted by thederekeffect1
I don't mean to bring you down, but this guy already won. From what I read, he sounds like the dominant male.

This other guy already made out with her. And YOU didn't even get a date! Besides, you already kind of admitted that he's the more dominant male when you said "He has more respect for her".

You can't win them all, man. Instead of worrying about what your next move is going to be (because honestly, anymore moves and you're going to be in a deeper hole), take a step back and take note of what he did right and what you did wrong.

It's time to stop "acting" like you're his friend, and start being his friend. Because like you said, he IS a player. He moves from one girl to the next. And you could learn a few things from him.

You may have lost the girl, but you gained a resource.

Actually, I just began working on her, whereas the other guy had been working on her for about 2-3 weeks prior to hooking up with her. It's just timing...it's not like I was there in the background worrying about it while he was with her.

He's only 'dominant' in the sense that he has the situational advantage here (from working on her before I got a chance to). His 'player' skills are truthfully based on alcohol and partygirls. This is the first non party girl he's been with, and that's what I mean when I say he may have more respect for her. This girl actually requires more than just alcohol.

Basically, it'll likely turn out that he messes around with a girl at a party and moves on. Please don't make assumptions.

Anyways, yes, he MAY end up winning, but there's not much I could have done. I only decided I was interested a week ago...before that I was still kinda iffy as to whether I felt like going after her. And his triumph, if he has it, won't last long, because like I said, it's not his style to just stick with one (conservative) girl.

So, back on topic...he hasn't won yet. I basically need some time with the girl, via a date. If I back off, then that's me letting the other guy just win, and I leave the AFC. If I persist too subtly, then nothing...still AFC. If I persist too strongly, then it'll be desperation...AFC. So I need to be clever here and treat it as the delicate situation it is. I'll probably need to work on the competitor himself as well...

Tricky tricky...

Sorry, I'm kinda thinking as I write. What's my goal out of all this? To get the girl, obviously. I think I need to keep her emotions torn between me and the other guy. At the moment, I'm surely too much just in the background of her mind.

Well, back to the original quesiton, how do I ger her on that date while maintaining the balance of nonchalance and interest?

 

[Mr. Cardio]

stop it buddy, okay, stop it.......

be the dominant male, read all of gunwitches material, run a search, it will take you about an hour to read it, or maybe two hours, and you will be set with women for teh rest of your life and you will be able to get the woman you want, trust me, just read it.

 

[LeMac]

Originally posted by Mr. Cardio
stop it buddy, okay, stop it.......

be the dominant male, read all of gunwitches material, run a search, it will take you about an hour to read it, or maybe two hours, and you will be set with women for teh rest of your life and you will be able to get the woman you want, trust me, just read it.

By the way...talking down to someone isn't a way to give advice. Your lack of tact makes me think you don't know what your talking about. K, buddy?