"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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not oneitis, but still overly focused on girl

T

theory of knowledge

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you know that when a dj is attracted to someone, they still keep their passions as a priority, keep their options open, etc, etc.

i work out, study at university, have friends, travel, read a lot, but still in my spare time, like before i go to sleep, or when i am not busy, i am still thinking about a certain girl--even when i have 2-3 prospects, there is always this one girl that keeps me occupied more than the others.

whats even more annoying is that when i hear people discuss her, like her friends for example, i can't help but to listen to their conversations.

is this light oneitis, or do i just care too much.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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K

Krassus

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That's cool, man. You're human. DJs have emotions too, they're not rocks. This girl, are you dating her?
 
F

flexion_

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Once one-itis starts to affects other aspects of your life its a problem. Until then don't worry about it.
 
T

theory of knowledge

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just got back from camping on vancouver island with my buddies, anyways, yeah i am dating her, and im also seeing two others, she is not the best looking, probably only a 6, while the other ones are easily 7s and 8s. But somehow i'd rather spend time with her than the other girls.

i still go on with my life, but like i said, when i am not doing something, i automaticly begin to think about her, like what to do on the next date. etc

i have had bad experience with oneitis before, so im paranoid that this is the beginning of something awful.
 
R

realsmoothie

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Oneitis is bloody sneaky, because it's chemical.

Your brain likes to think about girls, and secretes chemicals to make you feel "good" when you do it. So you can get addicted.

That's why, when you break up or get rejected by someone who were spending time courting, it gets to you physically. It's like withdrawl.

It's also why you feel "high" when you're in love... or just have a crush.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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F

Faca

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Don't want to sound like one of these guys who are obsessed with Fight Club.. But have learned this.. from it.. the scene before the car accident.. for the people who have seen it;)

"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything."

I think to cure for one-itis is to live like you already lost her, and don't need her.. She'll sense this and become more attractive to you..

You just have to remember that you can let go, that What really doesn't matter in the long run!
 
T

Tomatoes

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Sounds like a slight case of oneitis. Nothing you need to worry about thow. Your seeing the girl so its ok. It could be worse....she could LJBF you then you would be f00ked.

Carry on as you are is my advise. She dont need to be a stunning supermodel to get your attraction...I know HB7s who are better people than HB9s. Looks are not everything. Unless you only shag women for social proof and validation.

See how things go with her....keep in touch.
 
2

2c2bt

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"Just let go!"

I have a bad case of one-itis. It has kncoked me off balance in my life really bad. I spent about a week doing noting but thinking about this girl. I know logically that this 10 looks and personality girl is not the only girl in the world, but for some reason, I can't seem to get her out of my head.

I could have gotten her to come home with me on Saturday, but my stupid ass dropped her off at her ExBf's house so she could get laid by him instead.

I was dropping a few people off, and she asked who I was dropping off first.
I said: "You because you are the closest." She said "You can drop me off at my friend's place (ExBF) because it is easier to get to than my place." (She would rather get laid by her ExBF than be alone at her place.)

What I should have said: "I can drop you off first, but if you want, we can go downtown, drop the other 2 passengers off, and hang out at my place for the rest of the day."
I'm pretty positive there was a good chance she would have agreed to come with me.

Anyway, I am dealing with my extreme stupidity over those actions. I am also dealing with trying to get her out of my head so I can go on functioning with my life. Even talking to other girls has not been interesting me because of this disease of oneitis. I'm afflicted, and I need help.
 
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