Not my normal self. Need a *****slap.

[B4IFURU18?]

Been dating this girl for about a month now. She's awesome in every way. Problem is, she's giving me an extreme case of "oneitis", and it's driving me nuts.

Her interest level is very high, and she likes to be in my company often. I sense she wants an LTR with me, even though she says she's "affraid of commitment", LOL, yeah, I bet you are....

We talk on a daily basis, usually through texts, and when we talk on the phone, it's only to set up plans. I don't call her often, but will drop little texts a few times a day, as well as respond to hers. On average, I spend a night or two with her per week. But like I said, we communicate at least 5 days/week....

I constantly tell myself, "dude, regardless, don't send her a text at all today..."

And I do...

It's difficult when you know the girl really likes you...especially when you like her, she's all I think about...

It's weird, because I've never been like this with a girl. Perhaps she's different, I know for a fact I like her a hell of a lot more than girls in my past.

Give me a verbal lashing, and help me stop this ****. I'm going to ruin everything if I don't back off.

FWIW, I met a cool girl last night, played it perfect, and we exchanged numbers...

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

From my experience I think that you don't have to see a girl X number of times out of the week nor have a limit of communicating. Most people will say and agree that it gets boring and dry seeing each other too much. But, with me, in previous relationships. If I wanted to hang out with a gf today I'd call her or if she wants to hang out with me we will do that. When were not busy. Aslong as I'm not being boring or predictable we enjoy each others company. You don't need to over complicate how many times you talk to her / see her. If you feel its too much then, cut down. Other wise I would just go with the flow.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

IAFYB - That's where I'm at right now. When we see one another it's never a boring time. I feel my sense of humor, and what I embody will never let things get dry and stale. Not to mention our interest levels prevent un-interest from happening.

I've never been so communicative with one person, as I have with her. Perhaps it's because I haven't been interested enough in my previous girls to warrant daily texts, and calls.

Which makes me worried about whether or not she'll think I'm too clingy. I've never had a girl lose interest because of neediness, I'm not clingy at all...I don't have a feel for her threshold though. I do know that she's the one who's more attached...

If I had a bigger inventory of women, this issue probably wouldn't exist...and I'm working on that...

And one other thing, I've had a few rough relationships in the sense that girls get bothered because I wont give up weekends with the buddies to hang out with them. They don't see enough effort, and it makes them upset because they really want to spend a Saturday night with me. Which in turn leads to unneeded, and unwanted drama (which I hate).

I made plans with the bros last night, and had to turn down movies and popcorn with Sam. I could tell by her text message: "Well, just call me next week. I have Friday off, so maybe we can do something Thursday night. Have fun with your plans." that she wasn't happy that I wasn't involving her into my night.

I talked to her today, and she sounded sad/tired, and was being kind of short with me. Which bugs the **** out of me because I don't need the drama/little immature upsets that get caused by me making other plans...

And because I like her a lot, I'm now worried that little **** like this will bring her interest of me down a notch at a time...

It's all ****ing stupid, and I don't know what the ****s gotten into me. I've never had these feelings before, and it's weird. I need to go out and bang a broad or something...

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Girls need drama in their life. Can you make the b!tch cry and make her laugh? You gotta be a sav under all conditions. Keep the b!tch front with her d!ck addiction; maybe she needs d!ck restriction! But, in all seriousness. Sounds like you two just have a great connection. Seems like she's trying to put some guilt trip on you for not hanging out with her. Stick to your guns when you make other plans with your friends. I dought you not spending time with her some nights will make her loose attraction. Give her the gift of missing you.

 

[penkitten]

sometimes i am afraid of commitment means they want to keep their options open, and at other times it means that they want you to pursue them and show them that you aren't afraid of commitment.
how do you know the difference?
i know you aren't a mind reader, but you are going to have to go on whatever signs show.
is she calling you or texting you at least once a day?
does she get mad when you don't call or text her in a whole day?
those are signs that she is interested.
do you call or text her and it seems forever before she gets back to you?
that would be a sign that she is not as interested.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

penkitten -

When she says "I'm afraid of commitment", I interpret it as reverse psychology. If a girl really likes you, she's probably not going to tell you "I'm looking for a LTR." She doesn't want to express her true feelings too early; for fear of scaring you and making you run.

It's just like how us guys don't tell girls that we want a LTR with them. If we do, and it's too early in the relationship, some girls think you're moving too fast, and they'll lose interest...

She's sub communicating to me that she wants a LTR, but won't admit it.

 

[penkitten]

penkitten -

When she says "I'm afraid of commitment", I interpret it as reverse psychology. If a girl really likes you, she's probably not going to tell you "I'm looking for a LTR." She doesn't want to express her true feelings too early; for fear of scaring you and making you run.

uhm thanks for the help, but thats exactly what i just said in what i posted above.

sometimes i am afraid of commitment means they want you to pursue them and show them that you aren't afraid of commitment.
how do you know the difference?
i know you aren't a mind reader, but you are going to have to go on whatever signs show.
is she calling you or texting you at least once a day?
does she get mad when you don't call or text her in a whole day?
those are signs that she is interested.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

So penkitten, I expected a verbal lashing or some profound advice!

 

[penkitten]

So penkitten, I expected a verbal lashing or some profound advice!

if you want a verbal lashing, then you are talking to the wrong female member here.
i gave some advice, it might not be profound to you, but it was still advice.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

if you want a verbal lashing, then you are talking to the wrong female member here.
i gave some advice, it might not be profound to you, but it was still advice.

TY.

 

[penkitten]

so does she get all mad if you go the whole day without calling?

 

[B4IFURU18?]

so does she get all mad if you go the whole day without calling?

No. She's a pretty independent girl from what I can tell. I've also noticed she doesn't like to call or talk on the phone for that matter. Therefore, most of our non-physical contact is through texting. I only call when I want to set plans up with her or don't feel like burning up 60 texts when I can say what I want in three sentences.

Like I said in my original post, she seemed a little disappointed in my decision to forgo plans with her last night. I hung out with my buddies instead. Not to mention her text that I received after: "Well, just call me sometime next week, I don't work Friday so maybe we can hang out Thursday. Have fun with your plans."

I'll see how she is the next couple days...

 

[Last Man Standing]

This is normal kid, you are suppose to be excited when you are attracted to the opposite sex - this is the natural order of things!

Now I disagree with the "spinning plates" theory - if you find a good principled, feminine/submissive virgin - keep her, they are rare today!!

However, if she is just another woman who opens her legs to you, as she did to others in the past, then she is no one special, and this is where the "plate" theory applies!!!

 

[ChapStick]

This is normal kid, you are suppose to be excited when you are attracted to the opposite sex - this is the natural order of things!

Now I disagree with the "spinning plates" theory - if you find a good principled, feminine/submissive virgin - keep her, they are rare today!!

However, if she is just another woman who opens her legs to you, as she did to others in the past, then she is no one special, and this is where the "plate" theory applies!!!

Couldn't agree more!

 

[realsmoothie]

if you find a good principled, feminine/submissive virgin - keep her, they are rare today!!

Jesus, I couldn't think of anything more boring.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

....

 

[KarmaSutra]

Problem is, she's giving me an extreme case of "oneitis", and it's driving me nuts.

This sums up your entire problem. "She" isn't giving you one-itis. It's not the flu or a summer cold. You give this present to yourself to persuade you to stay inside your safety zone and not go out and put your balls on the line.

You have one-itis because you've lost the desire for other women. Your complacency will always be detrimental to any kind of progression you hope to attain.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

Meh, kind of blew things out of proportion. I guess I've just been thinking about her a lot. Gave myself a pep talk last night and all is well...

 

[the_great_gaia]

hey B4IFURU18, I swear to god you are like my brother. I am going thru the EXACT same BS with my girl.

I feel you, man. Can I tell you what I have went thru?

Man, it's like this: I like her and she likes me. But i am trying to hard to not turn into an AFC. But because her interest level seems so HIGH, she'll say things to me that will make me become an AFC. She told me that she loves me, that she'll never leave me if I had to go away for a while. We always be texting each other because neither of us are phone people. She always ask me what i'm doing.. I'm always doing something exciting so that must make her interest go sky-high.

She calls/ texts me when she wakes up in the morning, and she calls/ texts me before I go to sleep at night. She always wants to see me everyday. I got paranoid about that because I don't want her to get tired of me (due to seeing her everyday), but she still wants to see me everyday. Even if its like for 5 mins. Sometimes I don't go. Recently, now when she texts me, I don't respond right away, I'll wait a few minutes to a couple of hours then I'll reply. Then she'll complain to me that I don't respond fast enough, but I do this because I don't want her to think that I have been waiting on her texts all day (but I do be waiting all day). I want it to last with this girl, because I truly like her unlike I have with any other. We get along, she is fine as hell. She seems almost perfect, and she tells me the same, that I am perfect. She even called me a "beautiful person" and she said she always want to watch her reflection in my eyes. I can f.uck her anytime I want to because she loves me so much. She be telling me that she thinks of me all day and that she misses me so much. Hearing all this, I turned into an AFC too, but I'm not trying to f.uck this one up. So I'll restrain myself, until I gain control of myself, although I never let her see me sweat. NEVER! I got the exact same issue here.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

I hear ya. I'm not like head over heels for this girl or anything, but I will admit she's one of the cooler girls I've dated.

She did something last night that rubbed me the wrong way, and I'm gonna start testing her more.

She called me a "Joke" because I wouldn't come over at 11:30 and **** her. I told her I was wrapping up some late night work, and will be in bed by midnight so I can get at least a little sleep (I work at 6am daily). She was bugged because today is her day off and she wanted wiener last night and I wouldn't give it to her. If she gets a hold of me by 9, I'm game, but 11:30 is too short a notice...

She calls me a joke, she just made herself wait longer for ****...sucks for her...