Not happy with the present one

[ANIRBAN]

HI DJs,

This lady was introduced by my friends girlfriend..so I started dating her..after two dates she came to my room and then I impressed her with my piano..and then we started kissing and made love..she is just 22 and I am 31. She then came to my place again two times and we also had hot sex. There was no relationship talk and no "I love you" business.

Now she indirectly informs me thru my friends girlfriend that she loves and and want a relationship. What the fukc !! Now I understand that she might be a good lady..but then why did she not talk to me before sleeping with me..or is she very immatured? or insecure. Now I dont like her so much to have a relationship..we have some sexual chemistry but no feeling to have any further intimacy. I told her this in email. She is verfy secretaive and does not want to confront me..face to face. When we meet also I found her boring and very quiet. Now I dont want
to dump her badly as it might spoil my friendship with my friend and his girlfriend..they interfer from time to time to check on us whats going on..

How can I end it smoothly without much mess !! Help guys ...thanks !!

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I answered this question in another guy's post..here's the link

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=64631

The most important thing is when you let her go..that you MUST insure her that you will not gossip any of this to your circle of friends. Reassuring her that it stays on the DL will make the break up more comfortable and bring less gossip and drama to your circle of friends.

 

[Climax]

-^ no1 likes these situations... but unfortunatelly, it HAS to be done... ^-

Telling a girl that u are not interested is a hard thing to do, and far from enjoyable, but it HAS to be done in situations like this.

The main thing that u need to keep in mind is that when she walks away from you after u tell her what u need to tell her, that she will not go try commit suicide or hate herself for you not liking her.

So what u need to do is:

1) Tell her in person. When telling her in person u can show emotion, and show her that u dont mean to hurt her, you can hold her and comfort her.

2) Make her feel good about herself, try compliment her as much as possible. (eg: her beauty, her as a person, etc.)

3) Tell her that u would really like to stay verry friendly with her though cause u really enjoy her cmpany & u think that she is a kewl person etc etc.

4) Offer to take her out for lunch after telling her this. This will show her that u arent just telling her to "F*ckoff" in a nice way, but that u are genuine when u say that u want to still be good friends.

5) Tell her that she will find the right guy for her and that she will cause she is such an amazing person blah di blah, eventhough it might not look like she will be interested in what u have to say about all that stuff about her being a kewl person etc, in the back of her head, she will feel better and when she goes home on that day, she will hear all those things that u had to tell her, and she will intentally OR unintentially feel better.

And as far as your friends are concerened, they CANT possiby be angry at you, cause u told her in the nicest way possible, and if they still tune u, then tell them to put themselves in YOUR shoes, and ask them " so what would YOU do?" this will make them think and realise that u did the right thing, and in the nicest way possible.

I wish u luck and i hope that all goes well.

I am looking forward to hearing how it goes.

Keep well...

Laterz...

 

[squirrels]

Just tell her you didn't realize she would get attached like that and that it was just sex...you're not ready for a relationship, you didn't mean to hurt her, etc etc...tell the truth. If you want a CLEAN break anyway.

Or you could string her along and use her for sex. But given the circumstance, that'd REALLY stand a chance of causing drama.