Went on a second date with a chick; cute, smart, interesting job (can't stand biimbos) things been pretty casual, not really much touching or heavy flirting. I'm kinda geeky, she's kinda geeky, not sure if she's shy or guarded. I feel I'm being pretty confident and DJ, but I'm not being too agressive with the kino and sexy talk. Part of me think's she's DTF but might be a bit of a puzzle I have to figure out. At the end of the date tonight we walked back to her place and I started kinda chatting about when we'd hang out again, her door is right there she could have asked me in, or I guess I could have asked. We hugged and I went home. Am I not being forceful enough for this one? Usually I throw around a few innuendoes and see if they bite, but she plays it pretty straight. I don't want to "next" her too fast, I like quality in my women, enjoy them on multiple levels; so a smart, stable one who's a freak when the lights go out is worth the extra effort for me.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Not going hard enough?
- Thread starter Von_S
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
TheTraveller
Don Juan
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- Jun 30, 2003
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Get a drink or two in, start the sexy talk and see where it goes. If she's game, then green light and proceed without any second guessing yourself. Be the first one to cut through the tension. I've struggled with this but, given the right girl, I have no problems after a drink.
So, my point is, start well before ending up back at her/your place and then it's a very natural transition to continuing inside. If you don't start beforehand, it'll be a bigger challenge and greater likelihood of not getting what you want.
BTW, I like quality as well, but during the first few dates all I'm thinking about are the following:
- is she hot?
- is she DFT?
The rest is not nearly as important. File it away esp. if it's a flag, but try not to think too much right away.
So, my point is, start well before ending up back at her/your place and then it's a very natural transition to continuing inside. If you don't start beforehand, it'll be a bigger challenge and greater likelihood of not getting what you want.
BTW, I like quality as well, but during the first few dates all I'm thinking about are the following:
- is she hot?
- is she DFT?
The rest is not nearly as important. File it away esp. if it's a flag, but try not to think too much right away.
"the extra effort?" How about its always the same effort. The extra effort is when you try, she shuts you down and you keep trying. that's the meaning of extra. Pedestalization creep. Watch it. I already see you building her up in your head as more than any other chic just because she has qualities you like. This is how it starts.
I would have went in for a kiss at the end of date 2. You don't have to wait for any "perfect" moment, just do it and see how she reacts. Don't be afraid to flirt or be sexual, it's expected of you. The longer you wait the less desirable you become.
Like Warrior said, if you idealize her you're going to flounder and overanalyze like it seems you're doing already.
Like Warrior said, if you idealize her you're going to flounder and overanalyze like it seems you're doing already.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Yes, a pretext is always important as not to make her feel slutty. Even the sluttiest chicks will find an excuse for you to come in or vice versa.Aaron B said:you need a pretense with which to enter her apartment
she has to be able to tell a believable story to her friends later about how she's not slutty because the sex "just happened"
I remember one time I was coming out of a club with a really hot chick and she asked if she could come to my house to get a drink of water. As stupid as it sounded, I played along and within 5 seconds of entering we were screwing like pornstars. Yea she probably told her friends the "sex just happened" and that she had no control.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.