Not giving a sh1t vs. Looking for acceptance...

[lavida88]

One of the differences between a wuss and a DJ is that the wuss goes through life looking for acceptance by/favor of others.

The opposite of this is going through life not giving a sh1t about what others think. This is the way of the true DJ, because when you are in this mindset, nothing anyone says can hurt your soaring confidence.

My question is; if you start not giving a sh1t about what others think, how are you supposed to make friends/ get a good rep?

When you really stop caring about what others think you become a "loner" or kind of antisocial in others eyes because you aren't "cool" like them. This hurts your social status alot.

But then going back to the other side of the spectrum, if you go through life looking for others acceptance (trying too hard to make friends/to make people like you/to be cool) , then you are not cool either, because you are a "poser" and people will see right through you and see that you are really a needy guy who defines himself by his friends.

How do you get a good balance here? How can you become popular, make alot of friends, but still not give a sh1t about what others think??

 

[Morphiex]

well a true dj knows where the line goes between not giving a buck and caring of others thoughts, if u wanna get laid alot ul probably have to bend the rules abit, but if u want to find a true chick that u can love then u have to be yourself all the time and finding the chick can take a loong time...

but anyways what i think is what u should do is be as much as the real u u can be without being disgusting to other people , Cuz noone wants a new copy of the standard student hanging out with them they want someone special and unike, and play some dj skilz wit girls once in a while and ull be just fine....

 

[dannowillbookem]

here it is:

you have to have a rediculous amount of confidence and SEEM like you dont give a fcuk what others say.

but really u need to get home and asess what u did wrong. not soo u can sit around and think of what a loser u are, but so u can devise better strategies for getting pvssy/chicks.


i know what ur saying. i know a kid that is soaring with confidence but my god he is annoying cause he doesnt care what others think. and no, he doesnt get chicks. he doesnt even get friends.

so what u have to do is walk the line. be oh-my-god ****y but make sure u give urself things to be ****y about.

 

[SlyD4rK]

yeah i think its more confidence than 'not giving a sh1t wat others think'

it sounds the same but i dont think its quite the same, and the difference is hard to put into words

 

[Sammo]

I dont give a **** what people think about me. I simply dont care. Dont have time to care. It just so happens that i get most my roots from my rep.

Most of the 'cool' people i know are that way because they simply do no give a ****. Who said it hurts your rep?

 

[MusicMan]

Your rep reflects who you are. Not giving a **** is simply a byproduct of having a life, having an image of yourself, respecting yourself and doing what you want. When you know who you are, what your goals are you don't let people stand in your way. You proceed with the confidence and determination of a man. This shows strenght and people appreciate a strong person.

 

[Sammo]

Originally posted by MusicMan
Your rep reflects who you are. Not giving a **** is simply a byproduct of having a life, having an image of yourself, respecting yourself and doing what you want. When you know who you are, what your goals are you don't let people stand in your way. You proceed with the confidence and determination of a man. This shows strenght and people appreciate a strong person.

Well put.

 

[lavida88]

Yeah, I agree with most of the answers, but heres something on the topic I found from another website;

Now, there are two extremes to this behavior. On the far right end is where you don’t care what anyone thinks and you do only what you want. You become a sociopath, with no real barometer of what right and wrong is, acting purely out of selfinterest.

On the left end of the spectrum is what I call the approval-seeking toadie. He’s a guy who is so totally caught up in being approved of – usually because his self-esteem was never built up by his parents – that he will do anything just to be liked.

The place you want to be is somewhere just to the right of the middle between these two extremes. You have to be able to fit into society in some way, but you should not let too much of this “majority” thinking decide your life. The vast majority of people do not aspire to the heights you are, so you must be willing to stand out and be different. If this means that a few people don’t like who you are or what you do, then so be it.

Oh, and if you think you can make everyone like you, you’re in for a big surprise. No matter what you do in life, there will always be people who don’t like you. Get used to it.

What do you think of that?