Not getting laid- need some advice

[getready]

So ive been seeing this girl for maybe a month or a month and a half, made it "official" 2 weeks ago or so. Now ive been kind of a duchebag to her all this time, being a **** and so forth. I really don't know why i act like this sometimes, i really don't mean to. i think i just feel threatened or something, maybe feel like gaurding myself. anyway she plays along with it and sends it right back bein *****y to me, which in turn makes me act like more of a ****. but its ok we dont act like this all the time just sometimes.

Anyway my problem is this: i have from the start made sure that our relationship was sexual- allways touching her everywhere and i finger her and stuff like that, but i have currently got NOTHING IN RETURN. I mean honestly i should have at least gotten a ****ing handjob by now. When I first started hooking up with her i thought i was going to be able to **** her within a couple of weeks. Now, i wouldn't take this **** normally, but this girl had a tramatic experience where she was taken advantage of when she was drunk and forced to give this guy head. So how do i proceed? Should i stop being a ***** about it and bring it up? Or should i just let her make her own move? I feel like my being a **** might have something to do with it, like she doesn't trust me or something.

 

[BeyondCharm]

If you're not getting laid by now, it's time to dump her and move on, or start spinning other plates and focus PRIMARILY on the OTHER plates because this girl has ISSUES and it is not your job to solve them.

 

[YogurtSlinger]

If she's worth putting some effort in to, then you need to take your time with her. Right now, she's damaged goods, but oh to be the guy who is around when she comes around...

EDIT: She's probably creeped out a little by you moving so fast since she has had that traumatic experience. She draws a parallel between you and that other guy.

 

[Isko]

I don't think she's creeped out at all. I think you and her just need more comfort. Tell her "ive been kind of a duchebag to you all this time, being a **** and so forth. I really don't know why i act like this sometimes, i really don't mean to. i think i just feel threatened or something, maybe feel like gaurding myself. anyway you plays along with it and send it right back bein *****y to me, which in turn makes me act like more of a ****. but its ok we dont act like this all the time just sometimes. "

That kind of communication is golden and will make you both feel really comfortable with each other, and when you're comfortable and attracted (which she is, or she wouldn't be dating you) you will make a move.

If she doesn't, then just assert yourself.. present her with your needs... you have sexual needs. Tell her your problem. You could also tell her that her rape experience makes you wary about forcing things but you're tired of waiting. Don't just wait for her to make a move; that's passive-aggressive. Just tell her what you want.

 

[eaglez1177]

I don't think she's creeped out at all. I think you and her just need more comfort. Tell her "ive been kind of a duchebag to you all this time, being a **** and so forth. I really don't know why i act like this sometimes, i really don't mean to. i think i just feel threatened or something, maybe feel like gaurding myself. anyway you plays along with it and send it right back bein *****y to me, which in turn makes me act like more of a ****. but its ok we dont act like this all the time just sometimes. "

That kind of communication is golden and will make you both feel really comfortable with each other, and when you're comfortable and attracted (which she is, or she wouldn't be dating you) you will make a move.

If she doesn't, then just assert yourself.. present her with your needs... you have sexual needs. Tell her your problem. You could also tell her that her rape experience makes you wary about forcing things but you're tired of waiting. Don't just wait for her to make a move; that's passive-aggressive. Just tell her what you want.

Im gonna have to disagree with this. Being all sentimental with her and sort of apologizing will not have much of an effect in getting to sex. Heck, it wont even really make a huge difference in comfort, because saying something like that doesnt just create sexual comfort. It may create some comfort when you two are talking to each other and conversing, but it wont create sexual comfort.

I also disagree with telling her you have "sexual needs"...that will may you just come across as desperate, needy, and will put pressure on her that she doesnt want.

I also disagree with talking about her traumatic experience. Girls HATE talking about stuff like that, so bringing up something that is an extremely sensitive topic will not help at all. It will probably just make her very upset and/or mad at you.

What I recommend is this, and I can promise that it will leave you with a true answer of what to eventually do:
-STOP fingering her, and STOP doing anything else with her until she starts giving back to you. Im not saying you have to stop kissing her, but definitely stop with the fingering, going down on her, or whatever further sexual advances you make (aside from kissing thats fine).

This is important => -It would be even better if you could get her really horny from feeling her up and kissing her, and then maybe slide your hand across her vag down there (not under her panties) BUT DO NOT FINGER HER! Trust me, she is going to start worrying and thinking over why you wont finger her and give her more pleasure. Unless she has half a brain, she'll realize that she has to do something in return. If not that, theres also a chance she will say something to you along the lines of why you dont finger her or pleasure her as much any more. Your answer to that should be something along the lines of "Ohh idk Im just tired of not getting anything in return".

-Now, also keep in mind that there are MANY girls out that that just naturally dont like giving head. She may hate doing it even more cuz of her traumatic experience. If thats the case, then try to advance to sex. Im saying this if she replies to your answer (above) with a "ohh I want to give you something in return but I had a really bad experience".

Now, your prolly wondering, okay, how long do I do this for? I would recommend doing it around 3 times when you hang out with her and get intimate. That means three separate occasions where you really get her going and then stop your advance (like what i described above). If she hasnt said anything by then or returned the favor, NEXT HER.

 

[Scar Tissue]

Good advice from eaglez.

Listen when I say this getready, its all about location. If your not in a location that is good for having sex then your wasting your time. If shes not comfortable then your not going to get jack sh1t from her.

I would go straight to sex and then later go back to head if you get the chance.


But thats only if you really like the girl and you think shes worth it.
Because in all honestly iv dealt with girls exactly like her. I have wrote threads explainning the exact same situation and asking for the exact same answers. Girls like these are just immature and not quite ready for sex. Your a year or two too early for the show.

But dont fret! There are plenty of slutty girls in your grade that are willing to put out because of their low selfesteem. These are the girls you need to hook up with for now. Then, when you are a self proclaimed stud..lol.. Acutally what you will get from these sluts (besides head) is the valuable experience and confindence that you need in order to bed the more conservative girls. Girls like the one your dealing with right now just throw unexpected problems in your way and unless you have enough experience with girls, your not going to get anywhere with her.

happy hunting

 

[getready]

First of all thank you for the advice. I had the same idea eaglez had and tried getting her going and then just stopping earlier but only did it once and it didn't really work. I tried it again tonight but with the same results.

I think what scar tissue said about location makes alot of sense, because shes a boarder at a private school so we hook up in some random places (tonight we were in a locker room in the gym). Tomorrow im going to take her to my house, make sure shes comfortable and all that.

You guys keep saying that i should jump right to sex, but i know that shes a virgin, and she has given one guy head besides that guy that forced her, and that was after that experience happened too so it can't bother her that much. On top of that she hasn't even touched my **** so it's sorta a big jump to sex.

Im giving her till tommorow, and if it doesn't happen then im done.

 

[YogurtSlinger]

You sound like a first class douche bag. Really.

 

[eaglez1177]

First of all thank you for the advice. I had the same idea eaglez had and tried getting her going and then just stopping earlier but only did it once and it didn't really work. I tried it again tonight but with the same results.

I think what scar tissue said about location makes alot of sense, because shes a boarder at a private school so we hook up in some random places (tonight we were in a locker room in the gym). Tomorrow im going to take her to my house, make sure shes comfortable and all that.

You guys keep saying that i should jump right to sex, but i know that shes a virgin, and she has given one guy head besides that guy that forced her, and that was after that experience happened too so it can't bother her that much. On top of that she hasn't even touched my **** so it's sorta a big jump to sex.

Im giving her till tommorow, and if it doesn't happen then im done.

YEa dude I would just do the same thing one more time (as in where u get her goin and then stop), and see what happens. If still nothin, next her.

Personally, I would've already nexted this chick cuz theres no way I would ever deal with the frustration and patience of not even gettin my d*ck touched lol

 

[Nino-Tk]

next her.

 

[getready]

well i was going to next her but i decided to wait it out a little more, that or im just being a ***** about it. anyways so ive been hinting to her about how shes not doing anything with me. i think she got the picture because she says she doesn't want to give head. she says shed much rather skip right to sex. im pretty sure im very close to that so im cool with it. only problem is she goes to california for 3 weeks in 2 days and shes on her period right now. i think im just gonna end up cheating on her a little

 

[YogurtSlinger]

You sound like a first class douche bag. Really.

Ditto X 10.

You seriously can't wait 3 weeks? You've been spanking your miniscule monkey this long, so what does 3 more weeks matter?

You are a huge freaking tool...

PS Karma is a b1tch.

 

[CaptainJ]

Ditto X 10.

You seriously can't wait 3 weeks? You've been spanking your miniscule monkey this long, so what does 3 more weeks matter?

You are a huge freaking tool...

PS Karma is a b1tch.

Why the fvck would you quote yourself?

Are you retarded or something? Why should he wait. He's a man and has needs, and those needs have to be fulfilled or he'll take his lot elsewhere. If this girl isn't doing the dirty, then NEXT. Only an AFC would stick in the relationship going "Only 3 more weeks to wait! Then I HAVE HER". A man takes what he want, so don't hate on the OP for wanting sex now.

Every post you make, makes your sound like a tool...

 

[eaglez1177]

Why the fvck would you quote yourself?

Are you retarded or something? Why should he wait. He's a man and has needs, and those needs have to be fulfilled or he'll take his lot elsewhere. If this girl isn't doing the dirty, then NEXT. Only an AFC would stick in the relationship going "Only 3 more weeks to wait! Then I HAVE HER". A man takes what he want, so don't hate on the OP for wanting sex now.

Every post you make, makes your sound like a tool...

I couldn't agree more CaptainJ...How can you call him a tool Yogurt if YOU'RE the one saying he should wait another 3 weeks like a pathetic afc?

 

[YogurtSlinger]

Cheating will end up biting him in the ass at some point. Maybe not next week or next month, but it will happen. Either break up with her, or wait for her to come back from Cali. Just a few posts ago, he seemed pretty content that they made it 'official'. What's the point of being 'official' if you are going to screw around behind her back?

 

[YogurtSlinger]

Why the fvck would you quote yourself? Read and you'll figure it out.

Are you retarded or something? Uh no...just smart and more mature than you d bagsWhy should he wait. He's a boyand has wants, and those wants have to be fulfilled or he'll take his lot elsewhere Where? Like a piece of toilet paper? The shower? . If this girl isn't doing the dirty, then NEXTShe said she was willing, he is the one with the problem.. Only an AFC would stick in the relationship going "Only 3 more weeks to wait! Then I HAVE HER". A man takes what he want, so don't hate on the OP for wanting sex now.You have the wrong impression of what a man is and ****heads like you give all of us a bad name.

Every post you make, makes your sound like a tool...I don't give a sh1t what I sound like to you or any of your meat slappin' buds. Every post you make makes you sound like a turd burglar.

........................

 

[eaglez1177]

Yogurt you have no fvcking idea what you're talking about. So don't talk sh*t.

First off, NEVER listen to what a girl says. Always judge them by their actions. It takes half a brain to understand that, yet you clearly don't understand because you're advising this kid wait simply because (and I quote from you) "She said she was willing". You have to judge a girl by her actions, and never truly believe everything she says. She can say and promise whatever the fvck she wants, but it doesn't mean sh*t until her actions prove it. This girl's actions are saying that she clearly does not put out whatsoever. So why the fvck should he WAIT like some desperate fvcking chump?

YOU are the one that has the wrong impression of what a man is. A MAN does what HE WANTS and does not wait around "hoping" that his gf will put out. "Ohh maybe if I just wait three more weeks I hope she might give me a bj". Do you have any idea how pathetic that sounds?

And you have no fvcking idea if cheating will bite him in the ass or not. This girl is in fvcking CALIFORNIA for three weeks. It would be different if he started cheating on her while she was home. And just for the record, people cheat for YEARS and never get caught.

Now im not suggesting the OP cheats on her, but I instead suggest the OP LISTENS TO HIS D*CK, and not his conscience or the idiot who attempts to give advice on this forum.

EDIT: And calling someone behind a computer screen a turd burglar? What are you fvcking 12? Grow up.

 

[YogurtSlinger]

A man takes what he want,

A MAN does what HE WANTS

but I instead suggest the OP LISTENS TO HIS D*CK, and not his conscience

If I didn't know better, I would think that you guys are a couple of rapists! After all, a 'man' takes what he wants, regardless of whether she's willing or not, right?

Why didn't you ask him if he was 12 when he called me a tool from behind the screen? Ohhhh...That's because you agree with him. I missed the forum rule when I signed up that said everyone on here has to agree. Please point it out to me...

 

[CaptainJ]

If I didn't know better, I would think that you guys are a couple of rapists! After all, a 'man' takes what he wants, regardless of whether she's willing or not, right?

Why didn't you ask him if he was 12 when he called me a tool from behind the screen? Ohhhh...That's because you agree with him. I missed the forum rule when I signed up that said everyone on here has to agree. Please point it out to me...

You sound just like a feminist using shaming tactics by calling sexual men rapists or abusive womanisers. Newsflash sunshine, it's a man duty to TAKE what he wants, when he wants it, in ALL aspects of life.

Nice little boys like YOU are the ones giving us MEN a bad name. Girls want and need higly sexual men who will lead them and take what they want.

Please take your little nancy boy ideas somewhere else, your feminist shaming tactics won't work here, or on any MAN.

 

[YogurtSlinger]

:crackup:

Thanks for the laugh, CaptainJerkoff.