Not Caring

[Drowning]

Well, first off, I'd like to say hello to everyone, being that this is my first post. But, I will not bore all of you by having that as my only subject of discussion.

I am curious about something. It seems, whenever I get rejected or I get too depressed about some odd girl or another as high school guys tend to get, I retreat into what I've dubbed, "Not Giving a Sh*t". You see, I rever to a state where I don't care about girls in general, and generally quit the chase.

Now, this is the strange part. When I do this, it seems that girls talk to me more and are more willing to take part in conversation with me. Does my lack of care attract them or something? Or is it just a subconscious instinct to go for the guy that is "off the market" so to speak? Is it the challenge of getting my attention?

Of course, when one of them gets my attention and I start going after them, they immediately go cold and close off. Any thoughts, suggestions, opinions, advice, observations?

 

[mb121]

Yes, this is exactly what happens to me. I go after a girl kind of and she doesn't seem receptive, but all of her friends start talking to me more and being more receptive. I think this "don't care" attitude possibly increases your confidence and thus attracts more girls, and to explain why the girl you go after doesn't like you as much, it is because you act nervous and AFCish around her as a result of your attraction.

Mysterious imo...

 

[Drowning]

I've also heard the argument about the predator-prey instinct that will sometimes turn a girl off to your advances. When you are the one not caring, she is the predator, and she feels comfortable. When you switch the tables, she runs off and tries not to get caught.

I'd like to hear other opinions on this. Just so I can get a real understanding of what's going on. It's still a little confusing for me. If I don't respond to her advances and basically "not give a sh*t" then how does anything happen?

 

[mb121]

I think it has to do with your state of mind as the male trying to acquire the positive thoughts of the female. To my understandings, females are submissive by their human nature. It is simply unnatural for you to try to submit to them to earn their positive feelings towards you, rather, (as I think pook or some other great DJ philosopher put it) YOU have to be the "great catch". You must put yourself forward as something THEY must earn, rather than vice-versa.

So in conclusion it all goes back to consistency of human nature. Think about it not just along the lines of our species, but that of other animals as well. Is it the primary job for the male to attract the female, or the female to attract the male? It is, in most cases, the latter.

 

[Zoso]

I've also heard the argument about the predator-prey instinct that will sometimes turn a girl off to your advances. When you are the one not caring, she is the predator, and she feels comfortable. When you switch the tables, she runs off and tries not to get caught.

From what I've read on this site, the man should have the predator state of mind; you're the hunter, you choose her rather than trying to appease her and hoping that she chooses you. As for the initial question, it's probably a combination of things. People naturally want something more when they're denied it, so your disinterest makes you appear more desirable and more of a challenge. Since you're not worried about it, you're probably more confident and relaxed, and you're not coming off as desperate or clingy, which is a common turnoff.

 

[Smooth as Anything]

Oh dear...

Peice of advice: Take nothing from people who have not proven to be respectable members of this board (not directed towards anyone).

Not giving a Sh1t has been talked about here many times before. It's an attitude displaying relaxed nonchalentness.

Attention to women is like sex to men. Use it sparingly, and the girl desires it. So stop showing them attention they will crave it.

The reason you attract more ladies when you are not giving a sh!t is because you stop acting like an AFC and trying to attract them. You gain a little mystery, while at the same time exhibiting attractive behavior.

This isn't some newfound undiscovered DJ trick. Just talk to someone whos been here for 3 years.

 

[Zoso]

I was by no means advising him to do this, just trying to answer his question.

The reason you attract more ladies when you are not giving a sh!t is because you stop acting like an AFC and trying to attract them. You gain a little mystery, while at the same time exhibiting attractive behavior.

That is what I was trying to say.

 

[Smooth as Anything]

Originally posted by Zoso
I was by no means advising him to do this, just trying to answer his question.



That is what I was trying to say.

Originally posted by Smooth as Anything
(not directed towards anyone).

 

[Zoso]

Ah, I didn't see that.

Even so, your comments must have been referring to some specific information that's been posted. Rather than simply dismissing it, you could address it and correct it. If I'm saying something wrong, I'd rather be told up front so I can correct it.

It's all about learning from mistakes, right?

 

[Ronny_Neumonic II]

LOL.