"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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not being obsessive/desperate

V

vazeh

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whats a good way to keep your cool when with a (new) girl?

i really want things to work out with this new girl im seeing, but i cant help staying online on msn for extended periods or checking to see if shes online on myspace all the time. i keep checking and i keep wanting to talk to her and most of the time i cave in and initiate the first conversation.

but from reading alot of the quick tips on this site i konw i shouldnt..
but i have a hard time with this

is there a good way to keep my mind off her so i can not come off desperate or stalkerish. i dont think shes getting that impression (yet.. or as much as it really is) cause the stuff i do she cant find out about really .. ie checking to see if shes on myspace or msn. but its not healthy and i need a way out!

i need to have her chasing me not the other way around

tips?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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T

The Forms

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Say I'm around a girl I dig. If I feel the way you feel, I usually just walk away right then and there. Cause I feel really lame when I'm doing what you're doing. So, if people are over at the house (say we're having a party), and a girl I dig is over, I don't go up to her and talk to her. I ignore her for awhile. Not the rude kind of ignore. Just the haven't-talked-to-her-yet kind of ignore.

If she doesn't initiate a conversation and we've both been there for awhile, I'll start talking to her. I keep it light and funny, and I don't stay with her too long. I'll talk for a few minutes, then I have something to do, or I see someone I need to talk to.

I guess you could do something like that online. If you catch yourself just sitting there trying to NOT IM her, or whatever the equivalent is, just walk away.

Walk away from the computer and do something. Don't think about her. Think about something else. Think about how rad dinosaurs are. I don't know. Just don't IM her first all the time.

You can sometimes, just not all the time. There's no challange there for her if you're always up her ass.

P.S. You could just NOT be on the computer for hours at a time. Just a thought. Maybe you could do something else. That way when you talk its you calling her, or her calling you. Talk for about ten minutes, and then,

"I need to get going. I told a friend I was going to meet up with him in a few. Me and you should get together soon though. What are you doing saturday night?"
"I'm not sure yet" (unless she's a "rules" girl)
"OK. Now you are. We're going out. I'll pick you up around 7. See you then."
 
L

Logen

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you need to really watch yourself and watch how everything plays out. observ what you did and how she reacts. i can already tell you're super needy, you're in a bad frame. i hope you get this girl but you've got a bad start. your inner game sucks, that's why your needy and obsessive about her.

Think of it this way. she should start IM with you. If not, she’s an idiot. She should call you or invite you out, if not, she’s not the one for you.

Is this girl really that special?

There are tons of better, hotter girls then her.

You’re too good for her, you’re the prize and she’s lucky if she gets with you.

Once again. analyze what you say and do around her. You will learn from this experience and your next one will be much better and smoother.
 
V

vazeh

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Originally posted by Logen
you need to really watch yourself and watch how everything plays out. observ what you did and how she reacts. i can already tell you're super needy, you're in a bad frame. i hope you get this girl but you've got a bad start. your inner game sucks, that's why your needy and obsessive about her.

Think of it this way. she should start IM with you. If not, she’s an idiot. She should call you or invite you out, if not, she’s not the one for you.

Is this girl really that special?

There are tons of better, hotter girls then her.

You’re too good for her, you’re the prize and she’s lucky if she gets with you.

Once again. analyze what you say and do around her. You will learn from this experience and your next one will be much better and smoother.
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ya thanks!

but i think my main Q is how can i avoid being need or keeping an eye out for her, start initiating msn conversations, etc
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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J

j8snx1

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Think of it this way. she should start IM with you. If not, shes an idiot. She should call you or invite you out, if not, shes not the one for you.
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I just have to disagree with that statement :D

I'm not criticizing, just simply critiquing.

she doesnt HAVE to start IM with you. If she does, and she likes you, then hey! Awesome. You can apply the whole kit & kaboodle @ that point...like C&F, conversation stuff, being a challenge, or something. If she doesn't oh well~ I really don't think that her not IMing you determines her level of interest.

she doesnt HAVE to call you/invite you out every time...if you're the man, you should be leading most of it. But if she happens to break/flake from a planned date, then having her plan the next date works. Just because she doesnt plan the date every single time, it doesnt mean she's not the fit girl for a relationship...

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Is this girl really that special?

There are tons of better, hotter girls then her.

You’re too good for her, you’re the prize and she’s lucky if she gets with you.
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that really helps with the whole being a challenge, nexting, or simply having the mindset of getting over rejections/crappy relationships! great points.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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