"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Not being insecure without being a pushover

jc_80

Don Juan
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So I've been through six women now since my breakup months ago. Each time I met the newest one I actually felt less satisfied. One I've known about two years and dated, kissed but never banged her until this July. She asked to be exclusive last week. She's been my main plate for six weeks so thought why not, I wanted to keep things simple for a while and focus more on myself and she's been a friend who's really laid back and not needy so.....

Here's the problem. I just met her for lunch to go for a walk and she was really happy like oh I have a boyfriend now, locking her arm around mine, stopping to hug me, smiley.
So then she starts up this conversation on the walk about her neighbor's friend being an attorney and owing him a favor so the attorney is going to look over her parenting plan court papers and he said they can just do it over some drinks and she can pay.

What annoys me is this - she asked if I had a problem with it. I said no why would I? She said because I would have a problem with you having drinks with a female attorney. I said so why are you doing it to me? She said well I'm asking you if you're ok with it because the relationship is new and you can come along if you want. I just laughed and said I'm not going to follow you around and check up on you and I'm not going to tell you what to do. I trust you so do whatever it is you need to do. She looked reassured after that. Then I said just don't do anything you wouldn't want me to do. She seemed scared of something right after that, like she thought I was mad or she was wrong. When I first met her, she said her ex was controlling and said she'd never see her kid again if she didn't stop talking to some guy at work (no wasn't me). Maybe that's on her mind.

So I have to say now that an hour's past since the conversation I'm getting irritated. I don't understand the point of bringing this up with me. Make me jealous? See if I'm a doormat who is ok with double standards? See if I'm controlling? She's trying to be a good, honest girlfriend? Or she feels guilty because there's more to the story....
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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jc_80

Don Juan
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Now she's texting me, saying she won't go if I don't want her to lol.
 

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
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It was a sh!t test. I think you played it well. Tell her to do what she thinks is right.

Hopefully she isn't going to want to have you on that short of a leash...
 

Outlaw_

Don Juan
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jc_80 said:
When I first met her, she said her ex was controlling and said she'd never see her kid again if she didn't stop talking to some guy at work (no wasn't me). Maybe that's on her mind.

So I have to say now that an hour's past since the conversation I'm getting irritated. I don't understand the point of bringing this up with me. Make me jealous? See if I'm a doormat who is ok with double standards? See if I'm controlling? She's trying to be a good, honest girlfriend? Or she feels guilty because there's more to the story....
It's all of this. What are you irritated about? It is definitely a test. If you are getting irritated you are failing the test & it will come out in an interaction(s) with her. Get to the bottom of your irritation & you will thrive in the situation...if not, this will be short lived.
 

exhausted

Master Don Juan
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U handled it well

an attorney meetimg for drimks? Hes up to something
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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