Not As Strong As I Thought I Was

[Precursor]

Hi guys. I'm not as strong (not in a physical sense) of a person as i thought i am.

I'm usually respectful, always smiling, I help almost everybody. I have (or use to have) a high standard of morals and ethics.

I study hard to get decent grades, play sports, and applied and got accepted into a decent college for next year. I am also satisfied with my appearance and physical well-being.

But ever since i lost that very special girl (c'mon guys, you know what i'm talking about), I do not feel good. Honestly.

The weight of the world feels very heavy, and i have no motivation. With AP testing, Prom, and graduation coming up, i know what i have to do, but i keep holding myself, and the reason is i don't know why. I seem to lack the motivation i once had.

I've been showing up to my classes very late, always trying not to frown. I've read the DJ Bible two years back when i first joined, but i so i thought found a comfort medium.

I use to be very arrogant. I always mocked people who were "depressed" to make them cheer up. It turns out that i wasn't aware of what they were feeling.

Ah i hate to sound like another depressed person, but unfortunately, i am. I need to become more cynical, and more aware of who the people around me truly are.

All right guys, feel free to respond or discuss anything you have to share, whether it is about depression, being cynical, or calling me "AcF" (average chump or something, i cannot remember), or anything.

Precursor.

 

[SinJester]

It's ok man, we all go through stages like this. You will end up stronger because of it, and you will learns more about yourself. I'm never depressed for long, maybe something big might happen and I'm a bit down for a few days but I soon snap out of it.

Ask yourself "why am I depressed"?
Are you resisting it?
Do you feel bad that you, the person who used to arrogant, is now depressed?
Are you beting yourself up about it?
What thought are going through your head?

 

[KontrollerX]

Did you feel like everything in your life was going right on track when you had the special girl but now without her you no longer see your way ahead?

 

[2.0]

Personally I think this is punishment for mocking depressed people earlier. Perhaps now that you know how it feels, you won't be so quick to judge.

And don't worry, I'm sure this is only temporary until you can truly feel the pain and suffering you caused others.

 

[Precursor]

Yeah Kontroller X. Yup. You got it.
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2.0.......I apologize, but i should of been more descriptive. Yes I'm arrogant of a person. But I do not "mock" them the way i think you perceive it as.

Whenever i see one of my friends kinda down, I always walk up to try and cheer them up. I use to have a perception that they choose to make themselves depressed. I always thought anyone could be happy and it was easy.

So I always use my quirky humor and impersonations to make others feel better.

In other words, you could say i "played doctor" even though i did not know what the patients true symptoms were.

Is that more clear?
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Sinjester, Yeah I've been thinking a lot. And not about me soon departing to college, but rather, who i am as a person.

It appears that you guys know more than I do.

A lot of people around me, i've start to finally see, are very cynical. Granted, i know most people are rational, which is good.

But do you see how a lot of people sort of "Cheat". Rather, they copy homework, copy someone's test paper, "use others", etc? I'm sure everyone has noticed this.

I don't want to name names, but what about starting a thread about making a girl cry, right Vice ? *oops*

I'm saying, If everyone "cheats" to get ahead, and I'm restricted by some dumb code that makes me a decent person, I will surely want to throw out the code and "get ahead".

 

[SinJester]

It's been mathimaticaly proven that the guy who cheats to get ahead loses in the long run. So are you thinking "look at me I'm a good person but I don't get anything for it!"? Well that doesn't help either.

Every descision a person makes is either win-win or win-lose. In a win-lose situation obviously one person has to come off on top. People who are overly nice choose win-lose situations against themselves in the hope that they will get something from it. Jerks on the other hand choose win-lose situations and put themselves ahead by putting others down. Nice guys get walked over and never go anywhere. Jerks eventually fail because sooner or later everyone realizes what kind of person they are and stops helping them. You have to find the middle ground and make descision that help both you and the other person.

The jerk relies only on intuiation. The nice guy relies only on ethics. You need a balance of both, a balence of experiance and knowledge. I'm guessing you were a nice guy and then your girlfriend broke up and you are heading on the path of the jerk. If you went down that path you would probably eventually end up in the middle or back towards the nice guy end. The good thing is you now have a lot more experiance. Perhaps some time as a jerk would even do you good, but that is generally unhealthy.

Am I right? I'm just basing this off your last few sentaces, guesswork, my own experiances and what I learned from them? Right now I'm doing the docter without out knowing the symptoms, or even the problem. If you want us to help we need more information and what your actual problem is I think it should sort itself out and this is just a learning experiance.