NorwegianDJ's journal of personal growth

[Nino-Tk]

I agree on the point of just going outside your home and make things happen, sitting around dreaming and visualizing is just not cool. Glad you are doing something my bro, all the best of luck.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

School Dances and Bad Parties

Quick recap: Tried to organize a girl to come over on sunday. Rescheduled.
Organized 2 tickets for Fez on Saturday, but ended up not going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZzfZwbOyQM

Had a chat to that chick I barely remember hooking up with. She told me something interesting: "You like came to me out of no where and was extremely happy to see me so I hugged you and you told me to look at you then we hooked up!"
That's just fvcking hilarious. I was so sure she pulled me in!

Chick from New Years is super keen to meet up, but can never pull it together. Super chilled.

Had a really abundant vibe for a little while this past week. I have way too many options, but the ones I want put up a challenge (either upfront or in my head).

Daan told me earlier that he hooked up with Serbia about 2 months ago. Funny stuff. Brian tripped balls.

Thursday, Prokop tells me of how Violet's BF broke up with her cause he's gotta sort sh1t out. He tells me that she really wants a boyfriend and that I should ask her out and "tap that up on the reg." I laughed it off and I'm still ambivalent towards it. I would not trust her as a girlfriend so that's not an option. However, the physical aspect of it is tempting. Moreover, I'd be cool to take up dancing again. The plan is to have her come along to the school next door's Valentines Dance (both ironic and nostalgic).

It's weird. I'm possessive over her. I don't like it and generally try to avoid her. There must be some reason Prokop told me this, because he wouldn't hesitate to get in there himself unless motivated by something or someone else. We'll see how it plays out.

Why is this chick messaging me.. Ah. Hair experiment.

Anyway. Friday. School dance! Hah.

It's an outside thing, chilled vibe, not a high turnout, like 50ish people.

Talk talk talk funfun. DANCE MOTHER****ER! I hit up the dancefloor with Robert. People start dancing. We form a huge group. Then Robert and I set it on fire. I don't know how to describe it. We flail so much that we look ridiculously awesome. I do this a lot. Fast forward and Im on a ledge. People have gathered around and chant my name. A blonde karate world-champion, albeit freshman, girl is dancing with me on my side. We bootyshake. The drop is approaching. I jump into the air. Silence. BOOOOOM it drops exactly as I land. High five everyone. Legend.

Danced with multiple girls. They all want me. Including this Brazilian chick I kept hitting on for ****s and giggles. She probably didn't.

Utilized my (lack of) dancing skills and danced with a couple girls. They all loved it and it was cute. This one freshman has somewhat of a crush on me. Her half-brother is in Knifeparty. Hah. She's hot though, but too young.

That italian chick was all over me (and many of my friends). I don't care and she's ****ing cool. I held back from hooking up with her. Prefer not doing that in front of so many people I know. She has such a great ass.

So yeah, that's my school dance pretty much. Just abundance. I can't settle for that though.

From the dance I went to this Springfield Afterparty in Claremont. If you remember last year's (where I got off my tits, doctor phil, 15 girl set) then you'd understand why I went to this. However it turned out that I hadn't done my homework correctly. As I arrived I realized that this was a trash party. Small low-class house in a dodgy neighborhood. Coloureds, afrikaaners and bishop okes. Sure there was a party of 150ish people, but there was a distinct negative vibe. An overload of guys and standoffish girls.

I made my way through the party, searching for anything familiar. I distinctly remember this girl taking my hands off her as I walked past. Distinctly negative vibe.

Music and dancing in the garden. Lights, DJ. Find Daan and a couple friends from school. They're lighting up a J and I leave them to look for Snow as he arrives. After this there is little of interest. It kinda reminds me of town, in that it's a new environment - not just the usual pick and choose fairytale.

Turned out all my rides had to leave without me (although I should've just asked Rob if I couldve stayed the night). I ended up staying there until most people had disappeared. I left the party at 1 am in a cab with 6 guys and 2 hot girls, because of this connection I made once at a party. This guy said "dont ****block dude!" and rushed in ahead of me in the cab, so I shared the frontseat with a dude. He puked in his mouth and released it when we arrived.
Went home by myself and chilled hardcore.

Ive found this new treat that is just amazing. Salty bisquit, peanut butter, and Norwegian Nutella (Nugatti). God it's heavenly. Next to my salmon rolls.

Again, thanks for reading. Here, have this. Friend of Daan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U6GxQI7ALY&list=UU9rRxUmdBFQVF1pK58_v7fA&index=25

 

[Watawata]

I think I read about some voice program in one of the latest entries in your journal but now I cant find it. Mind telling me what is it?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Valentines Dance and Yet Another Genuine Interaction

I think I read about some voice program in one of the latest entries in your journal but now I cant find it. Mind telling me what is it?

Roger Love or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAgKUtBTefA Tom Day is a genius

I ended up talking to Violet and found out she had 4 boyfriends, all whom were intending to rock up at her house on Valentines day. Hahhahahahaa. Shame. I am OUT.

Oh, highlight: Did 10 reps of dips with 20kg around my waist.

We decided to have predrinks at mine before the School Valentines Dance nextdoor. Raoul and China stayed the night on friday and climbed out on the roof in the morning. It's getting overboard and he's becoming a liability. He's not offering me anything. No gratitude, no nothing.

Saturday. Saw Martin setting up, so I went down to the school to have a look. Talk to Martin and Monde for a while. Quite a few beautiful girls from their grade there, setting up. I get to know a few of them by the end of the night.

Not much to note. We ended up being 18 people at my house. There was one blonde chick there that Snow wanted. God she was feminine. Like she just emitted feminine energy. I loved it. Hot too. Would do. Prokop took a liking for her friend and later hooked up with her in the shower.

Guardian and Shield rocked up with 2 girls, one of them being Martin's. The other one was german and I was interested in her from the start. I'm speaking to her now, in fact.

We all drink, smoke, have fun. Good vibe. Mitch is draank. Robert is draank. We eventually decide to bounce to the dance. I put those two in a bed while people leave. Shield stayed behind with me for half an hour. Fingered her - tried out some lube. She gave me a BJ. However she stopped, which cannot be tolerated.

As I go down the stairs, I find Mitch with puke on the floor. Snow and some guys arrive back at the door. Everyone started arriving back now, apparently the dance sucked. I cleaned up the vomit with some help from the others. It's always interesting to see how everyone is extremely passive and doesn't want to help. I could tell that Snow eventually put in an effort to be helpful. Mitch started puking red on the stairs, we thought it was blood. Hahaha. Imagine me walking back and forth without a shirt on, sorting **** out. Classic. I love hectic situations. His mom eventually arrives and I head to the dance.

I enter and discover an open area full of young teenagers. Clearly not so popular among the older generation. I enter the hall. Walking purposefully towards the bar where Martin is working. Right by the bar I catch eye contact with this beautiful girl my age. I can't distinctly remember this. It's so in the moment. I remember smiling and taking her hand. I might have asked her for a dance: we start dancing. I'm leading her, with basic swing and waltz. Spin. Smile and up close. Her hands around my neck. I'm feeling her body. Kiss her on the cheek; the forehead. Her hair. We have brief exchanges of words. She asks "Why are you here!?" I say, "Why not?" and "Because of you" I love her expression. I fall in love with her eyes. How she kinks her head. She drags me further into the crowd. Dance. She leads me back to the bar; she must work.

I hang around the area. Martin is trying to organize her coming to my afterparty. He's doing a great job of being a wingman, but the passivity in hindsight felt a bit off. It was still great. I go outside and organize stuff with people. I drop Martin a call so he can organize with Snow. I tell him to bring the girl. Let's call her Cinderella. Fvck the old Cinderella, this one fits much better.

And there she is, on the other side of the fence. I know I'm not allowed in, but I hustle over a table, to her excitement. We hug. Holding hands. She decides that I have to come to "Sarah's afterparty" and I oblige. Goodbye hug, where I kiss her forehead and cheek. I'm like **** this, so I use my hand so I can kiss her properly. She enjoyed it, but kept her mouth closed. It was a perfect ending as our hands, intertwined, slipped away slowly as we walked each to our own way.

I'd like to stop the FR here, but it does continue. I hustle a cab to the afterparty and chill there with Martin and Daan. These 3 chicks show up and we start talking to them. They're quite cool, friends of Martin and Cinderella. Fast forward and we're on the jungle gym. The girls go all, "Oohh, NDJ here's Cinderella!" as I see 2 girls coming towards us in the distance.

i jump off and decide to approach them like I would any other. "Hey, who you?" Smile. I had the light in my face, so couldn't see clearly, but I immediately recognize her. She wasnt pleased and chose to ignore me. Naturally. Interesting to note here: Since I was so genuine in the interaction, like with the german chick 2 weeks ago, I got very invested. This investment caused her to have a lot of power over my state. Due to this, I shut myself down. In my new state, I was unable to properly handle the situation. Daan had an interest in her and had been talking to her. When people started leaving, I saw it the simplest option to go with them.

Spent the party talking to these chicks. Good fun. They're good people. Told them I'd love to see them again. We were leaving. Daan finally comes after having kissed Cinderella. I tell him he took my girl and he immediately realized what he'd done. I take the blame though, because it was my responsibility. Don't diverge the blame to someone else. Take responsibility and learn from it.

I walked back into the party to look for the girls, since they were supposed to come over to my place. Couldn't find them and missed an opportunity to chat with Cinderella. Walking back, someone spills fruit punch at me. This guy runs up to me and tells me someone hit his cup. I then see this guy http://www.rsdnation.com/node/235991/forum?page=3 emerge from the group. I yell at him because in the moment I thought it was him. He's ignoring me so I keep yelling at him, deciding that the rumours are correct; he's a ****. Whatever. He's driven me from gym and stuff. Maybe he's cool, maybe he's not.

Back at mine people are chilling. We get the guys out and then the girls, which left me, Matthew, Daan, and Prokop (and Raoul and China in the guestroom). We find a pipe and hit that **** up. I swear we refilled the pipe like 5+ times between me daan and prokop. We wake Matthew up and have him take 5 shots to "disinfect his throat."

Skip 10 minutes and we're munching hardcore.

Skip 20 minutes and we're all in the cigar lounge laughing our assess off, cause Matthew is making the most hilarious sounds cause Daan is sitting on him. He keeps talking to himself. We sing some songs. Hahahaha. I hustle some amazing food I hid earlier into my room and hit the sack with them. My mouth is still dry as of writing.

Today I've done little. Went over to Serbia for a good 3 hours. She made me food and we watched 2 movies. Shouldve invited her over to mine.

Messaged Cinderella:

Me:
Hey you
Last night was fun.
Could we maybe start over from where we left off at the dance? x

Her:
Hey yeah it was fun, but that's all it was. I kinda like someone else... I'm so sorry if I led you on x

Me:
Damn you, it's usually the other way around! Oh well, thanks for the heads up. Maybe I'll see you around someday. x

Not quite what I expected. But all I really wanted was a response. Had a chat with Martin and Snow. They say she's very innocent and perhaps only hooked up with one guy before. She may be easily intimidated and the guy she likes is her 'long distance relationship fling weird thing' with a guy in joburg. So that's just funny. I'm very eluded by the idea of having someone to do dance with, so I'm pursuing her with that in mind. The idea now being that Martin will do some inside stuff, then we'll take her and a friend to dancing like next week or something. Sounds fun.

I think this has a nice fit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61vh38Zg_GI
Love playing that song on guitar.

I feel like skipping school tomorrow, hence why Im up so late. Didn't bother with AP Lit presentation homework. I learn more being moderately proactive than I learn at school. School's a joke.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Catch-up

So I never ended up updating for these past 4 weeks. I did write about 150 words about 3 weeks ago, so the start may be a bit more detailed then the rest. I wish you a nice read. (I’m hanging so hard as of writing).
Got only A's and B's on my midterm. Not bad, considering I’ve got 5 (4) APs.

Things are fairly good. I'm quite consistent with meditation now. We'll see how it works out.
- I’ve been off meditation for almost 2 weeks now. I need to start again. It makes a difference.

Been hitting the gym hard too. Worked out 4 days in a row last week. Started MMA with Martin and Snow. Lol I'm so bad.
I ended up slacking a bit, but this Thursday I started hitting it HARD again. Properly again now.

On Cinderella, I've decided to let that go. Martin rates she's more into Daan anyway. On that note, Martin is good friends with like all the finee girls in matric at the school nextdoor, so we've got another girl in mind! Hopefully she won't hear about what happened this weekend.
- She and Daan are seeing each other once a week and it’s chilled. And what happened that weekend has been hushed down.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JGHI4TAC5U

STAR WARS! Matthew chimes in as Raoul moves the camera to him from filming those lying on the floor laughing their asses off.

We're all at my place after having been down at Jakes for some drinks. Myself, I stayed sober apart from toking up when Daan dropped by briefly.

In short, we were all off our tits, which was what made the night so great. Hilary was chatting with Raoul, Bruno, and myself. She tells us that Raoul, Bruno, and Daan are the only ones not in the friendzone by the girls. I say I’m chilled and she responds with that yeah, I’m also not certain; I’m in the “Chilled Zone”. It's so obvious at this point, being that she's besties with Serbia.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXBFLzz_iqY

-------------------------------------

Okay so I wrote the above like a month after I hadn't made a post. Now it's been like another 2 weeks. I'll give you all a brief update. I realized how little I remember of what I do if I don't keep a journal, so that's a great benefit of having a journal.

Finally writing this entry was spurred on by something I did just now. I decided to go outside and take Serbia out for a walk, just out of the blue. She didn't have time for much and I ignored my intuition about tackling her onto the grass/kissing her at the end, but I feel it coming. I'm just glad I took action. Now I'm going to Joburg and then Pretoria untill Saturday.

The video above is from Skrillex. It. Was. Awesome.

I'll try and recall most events:

The day after my small party, I went to a party with Martin, Snow, and 2 chicks, now Prokop's and Martin's sidegirls. I ended up fvcking a chick with a BF (who turned out to be cool - sadly). It was more of a *I'm bored, oh hey a girl* thing than anything. The girl wasn't something I'd usually pursue. She recently told me "I'm late.", took a test, and turned out to be negative. Lol, a pregnancy scare at the age of 17. Classic.

I remember going to town with like half my school and Martin and Snow. SO FUN. In short, we partied hard. This girl in 10th grade jumped on me while we were dancing. I pulled out as Serbia's best friends were looking right there. Lol poor girl. I was fingering her other friend too, just for fun. I was also grinding her and another friend on the dancefloor. Fun times. Someone gave me something called 'Poppers'. Gave me a short high and a headache. Apparently it's safe, but I'm always cautious. Met a fellow PUA there, and he turns out to be Jessica, this girl from earlier in the journal's brother.

Another night out that I remember. Snow came to mine, Martin too with *****es. Predrinks, then we catch a ride with a boyfriend to Claremont. Snow and I drop off at Robin's place and catch a ride to Assembly from there. The line was like 15 meters long and a meter wide. Obviously we skipped to the front. Partied hard. Met Violet with Paul and Yann, and ended up partying with the latter two. Some random chick asked me, "You remember me, right?" I immediately reply, "Of course!" I have no idea who she is. "Come dance with me!" She says and pulls me to the dancefloor. And I gotta tell you now, this girl ain't bad looking! Quite the contrary. I actually end up *****ing out for some reason. I reapproach not much later and hook up with her before I go on looking for Snow.

Another night out, we've organized a table for 15 at Club 31, an over 21/23 posh club in town. In short, we all got drinks for the table. Dancing commences. God I'm awesome. It seems like everybody loves me. People are copying my dancing and sh1t. It literally iss ****. I just feel like moving and it's like unfiltered expression, just that I really cannot dance.

This one friend of mine that was copying me confides in me that he just doesnt feel it. We're in the middle of the dancefloor and I stop completelyy and tell him, "Stand still." "Now, does anyone notice?" He agrees, no one notices. I tell him to put his arms as if he was greeting someone, saying "Namaste." Does anyone notice? No. "Now," I smile, "let's sit down." We sit down and people are starting to take notice. "Now, let's meditate." Lotus position. Namaste. "Close your eyes for 10 seconds."

It was great. Hot chicks were smiling and intruiged, people were looking, we were the center of attention. It felt GREAT. Hooked up with 2 random girls there. First one was more of a "Hmm, I feel like hooking up, oh, I'm talking to this chick right now, come over here." After the first one, I spotted a hotter chick next to us and excused me to go hook up with the 2nd. I ended up talking to the 2nd about psychology and NLP. She said I should just 'be myself' with Serbia. Haha After this I got draaaank with Prokop - whom said that he'd miss me the most. I told him he meant a lot; he's like the glue and the leader of our friendgroup. We then caught a cab home and went to bed at 5ish.

Actually the day before this, this girl in my class and in the neighborhood was having her 18th. Amazing party with all people I knew, mostly from school. There was so much alcohol there, oh my god. I had such an amazing time, chilling and catching up with people I don't usually chill with. Was dancing and having a great time with Serbia. Jumped in the pool with Prokop, his girl, and Tristan. The mom came and gave us a bottle of champagne. God I love this place. I'll miss it. Just a bit . I think I might've got rather hammered. Went back to mine with Prokop, Martin and some girls. Alex came back after hooking Martin's chick. We're so casual. Night.

SKRILLEX. Way before all of the above. So amazing. Spent the majority of the night with Martin and it was amazing. Fingered some chick. When Skrillex came on, we by chance found ourselves with Sarah and Serbia and other friends. I had no ride home and by pure luck, I got spotted by other friends at the end of the concert as I was sitting on this guy's shoulders, and thus got a lift and slept at Robert's.

Oh I hooked up with some other chick before that 18th party. Had 2 chicks at mine with Martin. She wants the D.

Also went gymming with Martin, as I often do now, and met a friend of 'Cinderella' there. I was told Cinderella wanted to come when she found I was there. Entertaining news. On the other hand, Daan is.. losing it. His dutch habits are taking over his life and he's becoming a different person since the last update.

 

[Mindgamez]

You have an amazing life.
NDJ's the sh1111111tttttttt... Hooking up with all the chicks, I gotta do that!

 

[Nino-Tk]

Been a long time bro! Damn, glad to see you back, you were on the hustle, I like that! It inspires me!

 

[RiceandChicken]

Dude, you are such a lucky guy! Literally in state. This is what I hope to achieve. I know I could do it. Just where I'm at just doesn't make it easy for me. Really need to consider to start going to parties, I know I would but no way of getting there.
NDJ, keep doing your thing. Hopefully soon I get to your level. Slowly but surely getting there.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Yann, we could meet up sometime if I end up in North America hey!

Nino, just COME TO THE CAPE ALREADY

Ricie, excuses. Hustle. Be a bit of a burden if you have to and just offer value in other ways.

Onto other things:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBobN-r4tag

I forgot to mention that I did my Senior Task and presentation the other day. It was weird, being in front of the whole school, actually holding the very same presentation that people before me had done. I've always remembered the previous seniors and their presentations. Some very interesting and most poor and very boring. It's weird to think that people may think of me and I though of previous Seniors. I found my speech (that I did on business - the one I worked on a long time ago) to be rather excellent. I did it in 30 minutes the night before. So now that's out of the way.

I still haven't been accepted into any universities, which surprises me. I don't know if I said, but Georgia directly dismissed me due to my suspensions. It was probably in the way I framed it. Also, obviously, the UC schools dismissed me. I wasn't surprised by that. Slightly annoying how Contempt got into the UCs though He did have a slightly better SAT and grades, perhaps essays too. Oh well. It was mostly in that I barely didn't meet the GPA requirement.

On the same note, Ohio State and Boulder and two schools Im still waiting for. I've gotta fix something for Ohio State. Bank statements or something that I have no idea how to do.

Joburg and Pretoria was ait. Aced the Norwegian test with utter simplicity. Finished 2-3 hours early. I read a lot during this 3 day trip. Finished The Selfish Gene, which Ive been reading during study halls at school. I also started and finished The War of Art, which was a great and easy read.

Also, long before this, I finished Mastery by Robert Greene. It is added to the list of books that strongly recommend. Awesome book for any teenage guy like myself, looking for guidance. Great value.

This break has been nice and the trip served as some sort of reset and motivator, as it took me away from the computer and allowed me to read and reflect. I did approach 2 girls in Pretoria while I was waiting for my mom. Also read like 100 pages worth of APs. Damn AP exams eh. Gotta ace them - for the money yo.

I got home at 1 and finally fell asleep at 2. It only takes 30 minutes until Prokop jumps on me and wakes me up. He's arrived from town with Nic and two guys, now they want to keep the party going. Pfft,, my life. Im feeling rather energetic and get going. We end up waiting for Prokop as he spends like 30 minutes in my sister's room. Am I too chilled? Probably.

I end up texting Serbia and she turns out to be awake, but barely. I see Matthew in her house and drop her a call. I end up having 2 minute conversation with myself. I rather enjoyed it. I climbed the wall and payed Matthew a visit. Serbia turned out to be in her mom's room, so I didn't get to see her. Nic and Prokop joined and we pulled out some beers from the freezer. They fizzled into Ice cream as we opened them. Hahaha. We could potentially have saved her freezer there? We bounce from there to Nic's house and then finally Nic drives me back home and we go to bed at 5:30.

I wake up to Matthew and Serbia coming to my room at 10. We chat and organize breakfast at mine with the guys at Nic's. Was rather chilled. (I just realized that wasn't today). Eventually I went out at 7 with Snow and a friend of his. Was an average night with good music. Inspired me to write an article, which I'll hopefully get finished and published by today. HSG is OURS

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I saw my friend Matthew do one of these and figured I might as well do one too.

Don't worry, all the personal info I entered is fake.

http://ask.fm/NorwegianDJ

Currently deciding to start homework for AP Lit. Im too lazy with this class.
Going to see skins with Serbia tomorrow.
Did fashion show practice today. I think my outfit is fairly ehh but Im boss so it's k.
Wanna organize to start dancing on Thursday. We'll see how it goes.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Where to begin. I just learned thhat I didn't get into Ohio State either. It really confuses me. My grades are in the top 20% of my grade and my SAT is a very high percentile, yet, all my universities have rejected me. I'm gonna hit up OSU and ask for a skype interview or something equivalent, in hopes of showing them what's behind the papers.

I do get it though - They just get the papers, they don't see where I come from with what I write. Moreover, I wouldn't have a problem rejecting most people if I was put in their position. I'll pursue this though.

I'm surprisingly little affected by this turn of events. It's so chilled. The only thing being annoying would be that I'd have to stay in Norway for 2 years, instead of just waiting for one somewhere in the world. I'd also have to attend military service. I'd just end up perhaps attending last year of high school with my friends, be a Russ (check it out. Biggest grad parties in the world) and work. Should be very nice. I can't wait for some Norwegian girls hey. They are so loveable. I'd also get time to work on my businesses! HSG would get an extra year or two behind it (It'll keep going anyway, don't worry!). I'll also try to converse with some people in the Norwegian government, in an effort to get out within a year, instead of 2.
All in all, I'm very comfortable with whatever happens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SM0P1LSva0Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpJooV7RrMk
Some Norwegian music, for a change. Interesting fact: Back in the day, like 8th grade, I interviewed those two guys. Went on a mission with some friends for a local newspaper. Took pictures of them on their local concert, borrowed some medium scale crane, went up in it and took pictures and screamed from there. That was at about the time where I started changing.

Okay, so getting to this past week. Let's see what I can remember.

Oh, there was a fashion show! I was in it and it was rather cool. Quite fun. Yeah. That's it.

Didn't end up getting to do dance. Hopefully Martin and I will be able to this Thursday.

At the fashion show, I was helping these guys in 10th grade plan a last-minute party. Hit it up with Snow on saturday. Poured ourselves a concotion of Smirnoff, Bacardi, lime cordial, and eventually some sprite from the party. Call up Val and she drops us off at the partaaay!

Anyway, it's not an exceptional party. Pretty cool house, large outside area. Snow and I went around, greeting everyone who had arrived. 60% of all people there were from my school, so I was feeling quite familiar.

I know how I normally write a big report, but I'm not feeling that for this one (watch me proceed to write a ****load).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM6rbo1isfw Another tidbit that no one who's not Norwegian has never ever heard.

As people start arriving, I meet Jean's sister, whom I havent seen in long. She's recently single and she loves me again. The world is a nice place again. I chill back. Have a hit or three from a J on the jungle gym, sitting there with her, some of her friends, Snow, Serbia, and these 2 girls in my grade. Snow and I start talking to some chicks. Nothing special. Have a shot with a friend. By this time I've shared and drank all of this hydrating liquid I brought.

Talked to some other chicks for ****s and giggles. One claimed to have hooked up with me. I still can't remember her, but it was probably true. One of my drunk last resorts likely. Her other friend is now messaging me of how she wrote about me in her afrikaans essay. Great.

Was having some fun talking to drunk 9th graders. The girl from above that I was intending to have for the night ended up with some other guy cause I was chilling too hard. Mine baaaaad. I do this too often. Snow appears and we get a small J from Daan. We smoke it right there in the middle of the party. Some strong stuff. I remember it hitting me. I could feel my brain burning, like a searing hot coal. I became very focused, but could only focus on one thing. We started following Val as she was taking care of this chick. Lol. Everything was so hilarious. We ended up in the back of the party just staring at eachother, walking in circles next to people. I couldn't see anything else than his face. I also remember eating Milo's that I snatched from a girl.

Drive home with Val's parents, 5 people in the backseat. I was trying so hard not to laugh. I was biting Snow like half the ride and he started chuckling too. Was eating the rest of the Milo's I'd stored. We arrive and my mom's still up. Being so god damn high, we decide it smartest to wait. I remember rolling around on the ground, pretending to the league of leegends heroes. We then decided to Jungle and spy on my mom. We realized how ****ing stupid it was as we did it. Proceed to convince the guards to take us to McDonald's. Sharebox. Get home. Eat. Bed.

Been having my AP Mock exams this week. 2 done and 2 to go. It's gone fairly well. 3 weeks till APs! I've got a lot of planning to do overall, regarding future plans, holidays plans, business, and academia.
Had a nice workout just now and drinking ma proteinshake. I've been constipated (kinda) for like a week now. I link it to either whey protein, or milk. Possibly both, whey being a product of making cheese. Cheers.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Refocus

Okay, back.

AP Mocks went fine. Didn't study nearly as much as I intended to. I've got some catching up to do. Barely got a 3 in Bio it seems, APUSH, a strong 3 (****ing hard), and AP Psych a legit 5 apart from the last FRQ. Easy. I've gotta study though.

Just mailed regarding schooling in Norway. Will be interesting. Good thing my dad is fairly influential in our small hometown.

I vaguely remember having brief sex with a chick, but I can't remember doing it.

Anyway, I got my GoPro back this week. 3; black edition. Rather cool. The quality is too good for my computer to view the videos.

Friday, Robin was having his birthday/going away party. Rush and head to Snow's place. Lol **** my bike is still there. We head to this guy called Jesse's place. Turns out he's not home. Snow and I rock some tunes and chill the **** out. Mike and Zain arrive. Drinking commences. Jesse arrives home just before we head out. Our 2 girls arrive just as we head out with 2 bottles of Malibu and a sprite and rum mix. We'd already been drinking a fair bit.

Arrive and we're greeted by Robin, wearing a crown and cape. Walk around and greet people. Share and drink from this bottle of Malibu that I'm carrying around. Went looking for a bathroom and ran into some new tenants. Had a shot with them. Hah.

Got back to the party and met Shield. I was bored and people were still to arrive, so I pulled her behind a car for a little while. Nothing special.

I become increasingly under the influence at the party, walking around with this GoPro and being obnoxious. So cringe to look at in hindsight actually. Daan finds me and takes me to someone who's got liquid shrooms. I get just under 2 drops. Tastes horrible. I run around trying to find something to flush it with. I end up stealing some coke from a girl. Lol from now on there ain't no picckup, just me staying alive, hah.

I've never tried shrooms before, so I don't know what to expect. I pretty much just run around feeling hyped and uneasy, talking to people. Was rapping to Slim Shady in the microphone while Prokop was DJing. Rather legit.

Just as it's supposed to hit me, Robin comes to me with a bleeding hand. Turns out someone spraypainted his bathroom, so he punched a window. You could like see his tendons. From here I was making sure he got to hospital and was stressing a bit. Kinda blew my trip apparently. Party started dying down slowly, as the music disappeared and people learnt that the host went to hospital.

I saw Juan and Wakisa with these 2 girls on the floor. Waki leaves and I slouch down on one girl's lap. "Im sleeping here" I say. I look at her. She looks so much like this english girl I know; I'm intruiged. She's hot. Juan is hooking up with her friend. We start talking. I know I can pull easily, but I spot Serbia and Sarah. They've seen me and have started talking right infront of me, seeing if I'll hook up with the girl. I'm like **** it, I'll just rest. I'm so out that I bang my head really hard in the wall as I sit up. The girl notices I won't put out easily/won't be brave and decides to leave. I signal for Sarah to come help me up.

Basically, what is displayed here are two things. Firstly, it's a faulty mindset. The girl is fine. If I hook up with her, it's not a bad thing. I must stop not trying to live up to my player reputation. I've gotta do what I want. Secondly, I care too much of Serbia. I've gotta let it go. It's starting to feel like the deal with Violet, how the sight of her sometimes just promotes a negative vibe.

I chill with them for a bit. I forgot to mention, I went meditating with Nina for a bit earlier. She's like a complete chakra, weed, energies, astrology fanatic. I didn't like it. She was pushy and using what she believed to fuel her identity and ego. Ehh, didn't like her. However, she told me a few truths. I am way too nice. I let people use me. Not acceptable. This, combined with how I've read The Selfish Gene, has had an impact on me. Be more selfish.

This makes me react when Serbia and Sarah are trying to get a lift home through my mom. I recognize how they want something from me and it's repulsive. Tons of people come up to me for help with things, since Robin isn't around.

Eventually people spill onto the streets, as the police arrives. I decide to go home to Jesse with the same people that I arrived with, instead of sleeping over. Nice ccab ride back.

At the house, I'm kinda tripping. I dont halicinate or anything, but ehh, things are a bit weird. Sleeping in the tiny couch below the windows was weird.

We wake and bake at 8. Best. Weed. Ever. Didn't really give me a high, but it made me see such beauty. We were driving home and I saw the depth in all the mountains, places I hadn't seen before, and the beauty of my surroundings. I saw trails and remembered how I'd promised myself how I'd walk them with my dad in the summer. I looked out the window. I remembered childhood. One specific memory that I cannot recall. It was so significant. It made me tear up. I was realizing over again, how I'm getting disconnected. Something is missing. When I was younger, everything was so.. awe-inspiring. Now, everything just is. I felt disconnected from my path. I must refocus.

I've made the decision to focus on my internal state. I cannot go on living for the weekend, seeking the next big thing. I won't find what I'm looking for. I must feel at one. I've gotta meditate. Alter my diet. Be proactive.

Arriving home, I found Prokop spinning tunes in the backyard. Turns out he got kicked out and went to my place for the night. We make some nice breakfast and chill. I was broken the whole day. Now it's suddenly Sunday. I don't know what happened.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Lol I shaved my hair. I'm bald.

 

[Watawata]

I was in a bad mood, but reading your posts made me get in a good state. Your life is truly amazing bro! And my objective is to make my life as awesome as yours.

Also, why did you did that?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I was in a bad mood, but reading your posts made me get in a good state. Your life is truly amazing bro! And my objective is to make my life as awesome as yours.

Also, why did you did that?

Always a pleasure. Some posts by other people at times seem to be written through a "presence-like" perspective that they make me feel very present, grounded, and tear up. I hope some of my writing is the same.

As for the shaving, it was a knee-jerk decision. Because for a very long time, starting in 7th grade, my hair has been the one thing that I can rely on to look good. It gave me confidence back then when I realized that I could look very good. I've also always through that I'd look bad without hair.

I figured that shaving my hair would be a good start to not caring of what people think (because I do that way too much at the moment and it's hindering my progress). So I decided to remove it.

 

[Watawata]

I figured that shaving my hair would be a good start to not caring of what people think (because I do that way too much at the moment and it's hindering my progress). So I decided to remove it.

I usually mess my hair in the most strange ways with the towel and sometimes dress stupidly to make a similiar effect,but removing it is harcore.

keep pimping ,youre awesome

 

[NorwegianDJ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qycqF1CWcXg

People don't realize how much PUA has given myself and a lot of other people.

The changes we make to ourselves. The information we obtain. The ways of life we are introduced to. The people we become exposed to. The books we read and the habits we learn. The perceptions we aquire and the mindsets we distill.

We learn to trust ourselves. We learn to, eventually, become more human. We learn to care. We learn to be selfish. We become ourselves.

We make sense of our emotional turbulences. We know other paths exist. We find a greater understanding in human conciousness. You are not alone in this world, but with us, you learn to find your way on your own.

We are PUA.

 

[AlexLefty]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qycqF1CWcXg

People don't realize how much PUA has given myself and a lot of other people.

The changes we make to ourselves. The information we obtain. The ways of life we are introduced to. The people we become exposed to. The books we read and the habits we learn. The perceptions we aquire and the mindsets we distill.

We learn to trust ourselves. We learn to, eventually, become more human. We learn to care. We learn to be selfish. We become ourselves.

We make sense of our emotional turbulences. We know other paths exist. We find a greater understanding in human conciousness. You are not alone in this world, but with us, you learn to find your way on your own.

We are PUA.

Heyyyo! You're starting to get it:rockon:

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Epic House Party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPDNzkN-C_c

I've been rather down lately, but this week was a nice turnaround. With the introduction of my new hair and /r/NoFap, it's been going progressively better.

You know, I'm feeling so thankful. Just happy, but hopeful. It's as if I'm coming out of war, looking forward towards a brighter future. I have no reason to ever feel down though. I wonder if it's just teenage mood fluctuations. Who knows. It reminds me of my "depression" a year ago. It's weird to look back and think of how things were then. It's been quick. I'm so thankful I have this journal. I can relive these memories forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbG00jArcBI

I wanna talk about friday night. Harrsion's 18th and Paul's 17th. Hey, let''s have a party at Harrison's. Let's buy booze of almost 2k Euros worth. Let's invite houndreds of people. Don't jizz in the jacuzzi.

Having trimmed and shaved, showered, and gotten ready, I walk down to Jakes. Meet up with friends and chill for a good hour. I'm intending not to drink much tonight. You know? I brought my GoPro. 8. Taxis arrive. GO.

Over a mountain and 20 minutes later, we arrive at the party. I right off the bat walk into Grant. I've learned to have respect for this guy. What a man. One of those people that I want to be like in ways. Encompassing fun and confidence. Good lad. Enter party.

I was asked to pay. I smiled at her and walked past. This place is BOOMING! Walking through the dancefloor, smiling at girls and meeting friends. Free shot here, gulp a sip here. Oh here's a J, have a drag. Lights, lazers, Prokop is DJing. I film friends and get project X vibes with the dancefloor.

Walk up to the house and find Serbia. Our 'relationship' peaked a month ago and has been going downhill since. Tonight I realized that it's my fault for expecting her, or any girl, to consistently be encouraging and display interest.
We had good vibes tonight, which made me very happy. I gave her a lapdance.

I'm getting in such a nice state. Meet up with Snow and our friends. Walking around meeting people. At one point Im filming and walk into this group of chicks. This one girl grabs the camera and films with it. She see that I'm not keen on it and gives it back. Playful proximity before we briefly hook up. Nothing special. Go back to meeting people.

Had a nice drunk conversation with Sarah, involving her continously repeating how much she loves me and then insisted we filmed her boobs. She's such a loveable girl. Her smile is the best. Her eyes too, when she smiles.

This girl I supposedly know said to another chick, "Ive hooked up with so many guys tonight! OH my god I love guys!" Do we need more proof than this. This girl was banging. Hot.

Back on the other side, I find Prokop and Rowan in the jacuzzi. I get handed half a J and run around with it smoking it with everyone. Giving as it goes.I proceed to join them in the jacuzzi. I put my clothes with Prokop's and give my valuables to Raoul. Amazing jacuzzi. Lars joins us. Serbia wants to but it was the wrong time of the month. I actually really appreciate how she made an effort to let me know that she would've.

Snow comes and I walk around with him in my boxers. Was pretty cool. Eventually I dry myself up, change under the towel in the middle of the party, put clothes on. I find that my keys are missing, couldnt find them on the floor, so I assume someone stole them. Good thing I didn't leave my valuables there.

I walk into Snow and Zack and our friends just before they finish some J with organic MDMA. I didn't notice any effects of the MDMA in aftermath. Only had a bit. Took multiple pisses with Snow. We once stepped on a guy's face by mistake. I spot Grant in a ditch getting hot with a girl in the midst of the party.

The music is turned off. "Guys, the police are here! Toke up all you have now!" Paul screams. What do we do? We go hunting. Find Daan and share a pipe.

On my way out, looking for lifts, I take out my GoPro as fights are starting to happen. I end up filming like 3 chick fights. Rather fun. Shame I still have to sort out my lighting situation. My cheap phone light doesn't seem to be enough.

Luckily I meet Josh from Skrillex there and his friend drives past and takes me in the boot. Get home. Jump the gate. Climb onto the balcony (think pullup, reach up and pull one arm, grab fence and pull the rest of the body up). Phew. High as **** but feeling rather normal.

Now Im feeling pretty replenished. Also fixed plans for Eurotrip this summer. With Fabian. That'll be very cool.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Blaaaaaaaaaazed

There's not much to say about the past week. Wednesday was an off day, so we had a gathering at mine on tuesday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xEmXo0kVrI

I was intending to ask Serbia to prom then, but I found out earlier that she'd been asked already. Onto the next one, this does remind me a lot of last year's prom. I think I'll end up taking one out of two girls.

Anyway. Tuesday. Snow comes over with Zain, Serbia shows up, Prokop and Martin follow suit, then Hanna, this girl from school, follows suit. All in all, we just get really damn high. Like 5-6 Js I think. Add vodka to that and drinking games. I was ridiculously baked and looking at the videos, was being weird.

These GoPro videos are a great way to make judgements on what you can improve on. Thus far, they've proved me that maybe I don't act as amazing as I think I am.

The following days, I've had some leftovers from tuesday. Ive never toked up by myself, so it felt weird. So I've been moderately high most days. Ive found that it's not worth it unless it's very good quality.

Decided not to go party on friday. Spent some time studying, as Ive got my APs coming up the following 2 weeks.

My sister is here again over the weekend. I'm starting to wonder how uni is treating her. I'd be PARTYING hardcore and sorting my **** out. She seems to have work to do all the time. Then again, this doesnt bother me. It bothers me that she has to be such a **** about her internet usage. I can't do jack **** while she's in the house.

On that note, I just love being alone (like having the whole house to myself for example). It's weird. It makes me extremely comfortable and happy.

Saturday, Raoul invites me, Lars, and Matthew out for dinner. Prokop isn't invited because him and Raoul have gotten a bit off. Prokop tried to hook his gf, and then later proceeded to delete Raoul off of facebook. Weird chain of events.

Anyway, it was great. Daan shows up and we end up spending the whole night blazing (Daan has amazing stuff), eating, driving around, and speeding (considering Raoul is a professional racecar driver).

I don't remember most of the night, but the GoPro helps me recall a lot. At one point I was sitting in the car and thinking. I can't remember of what. I just remember where we were driving at the time (I had no idea where we were most of the time). Anyway. I was thinking and suddenly I got an idea. I stopped myself in my tracks and rewinded to how I got the idea. I FELT the two pieces of information clashing together and forming the idea. I felt the creative process. I was thinking about thinking about thinking. While i was doing this, I noticed how I kept losing my thoughts. Each time I would think of them, they'd get more and more obscure. Not long and I couldn't remember what I was thinking of. I literally saw them getting more vague.

I then closed my eyes and saw a flying meatball, looking like nyan cat. Each time I would close my eyes, I saw a different image. It was great to be able to flawlessly maintain such creativity without resistance.

I went to bed finally much later and had a weird dream about a festival Ive never heard of.

#I feel like film editing is something I wanna try out.