NorwegianDJ's journal of personal growth

[Mindgamez]

Wingman in his 50s? Damn that's so cool.
About the fight with Violet, is it real? Or it's just a joke between you two?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

SATs and New Cultures

Wingman in his 50s? Damn that's so cool.
About the fight with Violet, is it real? Or it's just a joke between you two?

Just a joke, although I'll probably pin her down sometime. Probably the other way around when I come to think of it.

So hey, had my birthday this week just before Jackie, so Im 17. Didn't really feel like a birthday, just that I now have to refer to myself as being 17, both for good and bad. People sung for me in lunch today, was cool. Don't think I've heard it sung so loudly before.

Looking at my messages it seems like nothing special. Cayenne wants to meet up with me before I leave, this random chick I met once started sending me x's, Blackbelt sent me a sweet birthday message (to which I responded, "Blackbelt, you're so great hey! Appreciate it. I'll see you around! x"). I also had a chat with Violet. I realize now how hard she was coming onto me, fvck, I should've followed through later.
Her: "Speak to me"
Me: "Im tireeeeeed"
Her: "interesting, why are you tired?
its ten"
Me: "SATs today and Ive been out for a while. You know the times when you're just mentally exhausted"
Her: "yeah, those times are hard, but made easier if you talk to me
please
and this is where i insert the blackberry messenger device eyelash face" (How fvcking hard is she coming onto me. Damn me . Oh well, I really did not give a fvck at that moment.
Me: "thats cute (Inside 'joke/neg')
haahhaha
so yo, whatsup with you nowadays?"
Her: "don't say yo
You're not a gangster
and DO NOT CALL me cute
I telepathically slapped you across your face
felt it didn't you?"
Me: "Im enjoying this so much
depends on the slap really
it can be sort of a turn-on"
She went offline and shortly sent me a text telling me her net cut out. Made plans with her sunday morning. I also ran out of airtime just as I was about to confirm for her.

On saturday I also took the SAT. Went much better than expected. Thought it was gonna be harder. Didn't finish my essay on time, but I did well on it, as I'd read 'How to win friends and influence people' and spent a paragraph on one principle from there. Rest of the SAT I found myself having roughly 2-7 minutes to spare on every section. The math was really easy apart from a 2-4 questions I guessed. English was fairly easy too apart from 2-3 questions I didnt know any of the words and half a section that I rushed. I found myself spotting mistakes very easily. Wouldn't be surprised by a 2000, yet I think it's realistic with 1700, as it cant be that easy.

(I got such a delusional sense of self. I subconciously think that I am better than everyone else, but not in an arrogant manner, which again makes me even better and by definition more arogant (but it doesnt), thus the cycle continues).

So Sunday I woke up late and rushed some tuna salad and milk. Jason came over and we ran to the gym. My endurance is sh1t. Do some speedy gymming consisting of bench, chin ups and abs. I suck at speed, especially in the morning. Energade and Peanut Butter Bomb (YES!) Hit the sauna and showers. Exit the showers and find my phone with 2 messages. I put my towel around my waist and jog out of the changing rooms, through the lobby, and onto the parking lot. Someone is like, "Is that him!?" I tell them I need 2 minutes. Meet them again afterwards. It's Jacob, and this cool dude in a band, Violet, and a friend of hers that I know slightly. As Im chucked into a crammed backseat of 3 guys, Im starting to wonder what Im doing there. It's not my usual scene, driving in a cheap car, music blasting and close friends chatting. I chill back and finish my smoothie OH MY GOD ITS WARM OUTSIDE and its winter and half past 6. Hahahaha, I just now finally got to say, "So what is it about *******s that you're so attracted to?" in response to, "your such an ******* " from this chick that claimed her vagina was on fire. This was because I've just commented "tits & ass" on this religious naked painting she posted. Cool.

Where was I. Oh yeah. We drove to Muizenberg. As this is happening, I realize that this is fcking great. By living in an upper-class family, I've never gotten to experience being one of those kids in that music-blaring car that speeds past you. Anyway, we stop at muizenberg. Violet and her chick friend goes off to surf with one board while I chill with these 2 guys. Buy some cigs for Violet, get some chips & rolls. Nothing quite like mixing carbs with carbs. Follow it up with a huge Jive and 3 straws. Huge lunch for R38. Not bad. Meet up with the ladies. We try to tie the surfboard to the roof while they change, but fail miserably. Lose and find the Jive, head to the chick's house. (It's where I was at that Hippy party back in 2010). Chill there. Violet decides she has to go home and study. Gives hugs to people. Im chilling so hard in this beach-chair. She moves in 90% to give me a hug, but I can't be bothered with the last 10. She moves on, I tell her it was a poor hug, she tells me I didn't even try. I smile. I shortly realize that I should've joined her, as it wasn't too much fun. I managed to connect a bit with her friend and we eventually had lunch with next to 10 people, then I got a lift home. Shortly after I got home we had some dinner celebration for me with friends. I didn't know it was for me before it happened. Cool, cool. Oh yeah, Im also noticing that Im paranoid about entering chick's houses now.

Now I got exams till monday, english coming up tomorrow. Im still to start studying and my mom just left for 2 hours. I have to study though, but when is the question.

 

[apocolipto]

I also find studying "boring" hey.

Good luck to you,I'm finishing one of these days.

Maths and science up next,damn it.

Apoco

 

[NorwegianDJ]

You will find other chicks,and fall inlove again.

You will fall in love [over and over] again. How nice does that sound? Had me thinking just now. Nothing is a big deal, yet we always, from our highly significant and narrow-minded perspective, seem to make it so. I can't help but imagine such great happiness that such a man would evoke not only within himself, but for people around him too. Not limited to the 'self-amusement' paradigm, but to all mental barriers. Imagine having nothing, but healthy restraints inbetween your desires and your actions.

 

[apocolipto]

Yo bro, you have one logical mind

But,falling in love is great.Challenge is to not let the feelings and relationship "become" you.

Feel me bro?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

The Massive Feast

Definitely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4-8WE6YizE

As Im sitting here in sweatpants and a thick norwegian jacket and freezing, you can imagine how much Im looking forward to going back to Norway in 4 days. 5 DAYS HOLY SH!T!!!

Exams went well overall.
I went through my english exam easily. Could've written a better essay, but I was in a lack of time. In all the exams I finished just on time. It seems as though I make myself use all the time I have and somehow manage to space time such that I finish just on time. Had 10 minutes left halfway through the essay, but finished it.

History was easier than last semester. Felt like I did very well on it. Finished my DBQ exactly on time, having 12 minutes left halfway through.

Geography was my b1tch. Easy. Finished in 1 hour 30, instead of 3 hours.

Spanish was a b1tch. She made it so that if you didn't know a concept, you'd lose roughly 10 marks per question. Hey, I knew the majority, but I had no idea what was what and when to use what.

Algebra honors was tricky. Everyone thought the exam was killer. Never have I before left questions unanswered (I think). He has to curve it.

So yeah. Chem on monday, then I'm DONE.

Let's see if I can get you guys to the story, eh.

Got 2 short chats here for you. Nothing special, but hey, I enjoy adding chats here. Makes me feel like Im adding practical advice.

Firstly this random chick 2 years my junior that randomly added me one day. I had a look through her pictures and would have to say that "I would."

Her: Hey.
Me: supsup
Her: oh my wors, i used to use that term in grade 7
Me: Mustve been a ****ing cool 7th grader
Her: obviously
brb x
Me: cheers my love
Her: Im back
Her (later): see me soon (I just thought that was weird, so I didnt reply.
Me (oh wait, I actually did reply eventually): Mi amo, I can't wait. My love for you is like a chocolate fountain. I ****ing love chocolate fountains.
Her: Oh really now

Just now this other chick, that owns this house, is chatting to me.. Hmm...

Had 2 short chats with Violet. Initiated by her as usual. I'll include most of it:
Her: whopidido****ingdo
how was the rest of the day after I left you at ayjays?
Me: yo yoyo yo cutiepie (I just dont give a fvck, do I)
Her: I am not cute.
Me: neither are you a pie
Her: so after i left, it was alright?
Me: yeah, it was chilled. Bunch of people arrived. Had some lunch. Got to know your friend a bit better. Her name is way hard to pronounce though. I dont even dare. Saying someone's name wrong is something you just dont do.
Her: ***** said *****
oh yeah, thats good
they're all good people /°

you need to watch skins
Me:I figured you'd say that sometime soon
Her: watch it, and read Impulse. good a book it is
i want to talk to you about the characters, most intersting conversations all start with skins
they are the top rank
Me: Hmm.. Sure, lets do it. Remind me sometime over the holidays to watch it though and we'll have a sweet chat when I come back
Her: where are you going<,
Me: Home, sweet home. Nothing quite like it. Summer, well kind of, friends, blondes, boats, festivals. It's so great.
Her: norway
its isolated isn't it?
when my friend went there, her and her frriends stole food and other joys, went into a boat, let it sail off and got drunk
Me: Sounds pretty accurate. It's the life. Only thing is that it's a lack of people and expensive
what are you up to over the holidays?
Her: parents are fighting, so I'm just going to live out at friends places. play couch you know
/
fun
Me: I know the feeling
Her: oh yeah. what feeling is that?
Me: You just wanna move out at times. You know, why cant they just finish? But then again, sometimes youu don't care at all, yet you feel emotionally annd physically obliged to stay
Her: I'm not sure why I stay, thats certain
Me: You're free to drop by at any time hey
Her: thanx
I'll drop off my hard drive so you can copy skins

so
how was your weekend?

I didn't reply cause I was busy doing more important things, like playing LoL.

Later, as I was making waffles yesterday:
Her: you wana do something in the morning?
Me: Sure, why not
People are staying over though, so a bit later perhapd
s
Her: let me know when your guests are gone
Me: will do (as I go open the door for Matthew).

So Friday's plans were grad! We were each to make 1 course for a grand dinner. We'd all rock up at my place, then make most of the food, make the table, wait for my mom to leave, then have some MJ and proceed to enjoy the dinner.
Sweet lord.

Made some divine salmon rolls, then waffles as Matthew rocked up at 6. Finished making them, people rock up, eventually all 8. Such greatness. Wow. Made waffles in one place, chocolate fondue in another, chocolate fountain somewhere else, 30 pieces of bacon on the stove, waiting to be put onto sandwiches, next to tomato sauce, pasta, and soup, to be topped with Qesedillas in the oven. Sweet lord. Took some awesome pictures while all this mania was happening.

My mom eventually left and we went outside and we brought out the MJ. Everyone but 2 people had to have 5 hits each. Holy sh1t, Ive never been so out of it in my life. We go inside to the table. Cheers to me and my birthday, yay. I think we sang happy birthday. Yes we did, but I can barely remember it. We sat down and devoured. I have never tasted something so great in my life. So many tastes dear lord. Im laughing so hard. I cant remember much from sitting at the table. It's like I just sat there with my eyes closed and ate the whole time. I have random flashbacks and know it was a great time though.

People start dispersing around the place, I eventually notice. Im so full, but I walk back and forth between the waffles and chocolate fountain, trying to salvaga all there is of waffles and eating it viciously. Cottonmouth. I go upstairs for a moment. Check facebook and SS. Violet was online, but I chose not to talk to her.. Why would I even talk to her when I come to think of it. I wondered why I read so god damn slow when I realized that my face was no more than 20 centimeters from the screen. We eventually crash in the couch and watch animal planet for way too long. My mom comes home and goes upstairs shortly. Have some burgers and hit the sack.

In the morning we chilled hard and ate some leftovers. Cleaned up. Raoul and Harrison stayed at my house until 12. Just before that I biked to the shops and got a nailclipper and some airtime. Shot Violet a text, telling her that people would be out in 15 min. Played some BF3 on Raoul's computer. Checked out some colleges with Harrison. They eventually left and Violet never responded. It's cool with me, but I seriously do not like it when people don't keep me informed/flake. It's about respect.
Chill hard and eat out local with my mom. Missing Norway. Sent a message to this Norwegian chick I really hit it off with just before I left last year. I'd love to meet up with her again. So many things I have to do in Norway. I won't waste a day. Maybe just 1 or 2.

 

[Joshski]

Hey man,

Thanks for keeping up with these reports. I love reading your updates and they are truly inspirational. Keep up the good work man.

 

[apocolipto]

I also just have sciences(chem and physics) left,along with english,then I'm off to JHB.

Wish I were with u at that "get together",sounds rock on.The type of "smoke and eat as much as you can then sleep" type get togethers.This one time we did it,was with pots and pots of spaghetti,cheese sauce,and mince (wtf hey lol),and bottles and bottles of brandy,and a bankie weed.It rocked!!

In my opinion,send Violet a msg, and tell her you won't have any respect left for her if she doesn't come through on what she says.I've started doing it,and chicks really respond positively.("sorry,how can I make it up??" type responses)

Other than that,enjoy Norway bro,,can't wait for your "Norwegian sarging" updates.

Have a chill day.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

It's my pleasure.

Nah, I definitely wouldn't send her such a message, as I'm not that 'now or never' about it.

My Norwegian sarging will be the best. Im telling you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df-eLzao63I
So yeah. Right now Im just really disappointed in myself. What the hell...

Alright, so Violet texted me this morning, "I really want to come over now, but its the mothers birthday and she's been out sinse before I woke up. Maybe later?"
I replied, "Perfect, im at the gym with jason. Let me know when you come over"
She texted me 3 hours later, "Can I come over?" "You may"

I had a shower and she showed up outside. I had decided that hey, she could be the one to make the moves; she could be the one to kiss me. That was basically my frame.
Im playing way too much into this 'unforgiven' attitude that I have with her. Just no. I have no interest in acting that way anymore. I've got her hair on my shirt. I don't get why I care about her. At the same time I really do not care about her.

I led her inside. We chatted. She told me how she had found this joint in her cubboard, "you want to get high?" I kinda shrugged off the question due to the absurdity. In hindsight, I shouldve told her, "let's go" and taken her to the park. Showed her pictures from friday. Checked out my room again. She judges. I dislike that, yet I like that she does make it fairly obvious that she does. Chill on the balcony. We chat about the school next-door and I tell her we're going there. We go on adventure in there. I had to pee so bad. We had a good vibe going. The thing I did wrong was my frame. You know, I really do not know what I want with her. Thus, indecision. Im telling you guys, indecision is your worst enemy. Make a decision and roll with it.

This journal is not about me looking cool. This journal should be as honest as I can make it. Sometimes I have to correct myself when I write here. Some things I write I know is a repeating pattern or just.. not worthy. But alas, they do in another sense deserve to be here, no matter any embarresment. That had little to do with anything by the way.

So yeah, we strolled around the school, sat in a tree, talked a bit about 'love lives' and such. She said that it "was there, but she didnt want it" It was shortly after that moment that she said how we were friends blahblah. This kinda shut me down, but whatever. Took a glorious piss in some bushes, walked back to the house, she retrieved her harddrive after having given me her series. Told me we should watch one of them together. 'Whatever'. She wanted a smoke, but decided she had to go shortly. She had a smoke outside. As we were sitting there, I wanted to tell her how I was sorry that I got attached to her last time. I wanted to tell her that I don't hate her for it. I wanted to tell her that I actually appreciate what happened. I started, but I stopped myself. Mom got home. I had her hide her smoke and we walked to the park, where she said we'd just turn around and walk back; she had to collect 'something' by 6, latest. We're standing on opposite side of her scooter. I told her to drive me, she thought I said "Ride me". Was funny. She's fiddeling with her helmet and taking her time, but, even without my current mindset, I wasn't going to lean over and kiss her. I told her I wasn't gonna give her a hug over the scooter. She came around and hugged me. It seemed like she stood on her toes and gave me a proper hug, however, she took my hand away when I gave her a full hug. I told her that's the first time Ive given her a hug in ages. She gets on the scooter eventually, takes her time trying to turn it around. Stands there. Im looking at her and she puts on her helmet. It's like the movie scenes where both parties are just waiting for that line. "Should I invite her out after school on monday? Should I tell her the various things that I want to tell her? Should I..." I had that look on my face. I then smiled and said cheers and turned around. She must've been confused about me, but not nearly as confused as I was about myself when I proceeded to walk through the fertility chamber and sit down and ponder about my decisions.
In hindsight, I regret. However, I realize that I caused exactly what happened by what I felt in real time. I realized that I care too much about her for some weird reason and that I need to get away from her. So it's all cool.

Also, I don't have my chem book, so Im fairly screwed for tomorrow's exam.

 

[apocolipto]

Where's your book dude??

And if you care,,why not go LTR? Not what you want in this stage of life,or just not with her?

I may also be hooking up with my ex from two years ago.The one that broke my heart and caused me to turn from AFC to DJ.My frame will be that I'm in control of the relationship this time.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Where's your book dude??

And if you care,,why not go LTR? Not what you want in this stage of life,or just not with her?

I may also be hooking up with my ex from two years ago.The one that broke my heart and caused me to turn from AFC to DJ.My frame will be that I'm in control of the relationship this time.

No idea where my book is. Almost never take it to school, but a friend of mine could've borrowed it at school without me knowing.
Not with her.

 

[Narkelva]

I read your journal when we were 16 because thats when I was heavily interested in PUA, self-growth, and just learning to become a DJ. After reading a couple of your lastest entries I must say that you've reinspired me. I just love knowing that a fellow bro can grow so much.

 

[LearningSlowly]

apocolipto, def not with her. She has proven herself to be unreliable in the past.

NDJ, come in with the frame that youre just going to flirt with violet, and you'll always remove yourself before it comes to the kiss. Go a little heavy on the "Pull" in Push-pull.

I can only see her being a girl that you flirt with at parties to make other girls jealous. Or someone you have sex with drunk, but never sober.

But hey, time will tell.

 

[apocolipto]

"apocolipto, def not with her. She has proven herself to be unreliable in the past"

?

 

[LearningSlowly]

"apocolipto, def not with her. She has proven herself to be unreliable in the past"

?

Look back and read about her. She got with one of his friends.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Sup Norway

I felt it was time for one of these.
Got 92% on my chem exam. Shame I barely studied.
Got 85% on my history. One of the better marks in the grade.
Dont know the rest.
Tuesday roughly 1/3rd of the school was there, so Wednesday we skipped and chilled at my place.
Milkshakes, nutella cake, egg & bacon. Greatness. Went into the school nextdoor and chilled there with people in reccess. Played soccer.
Robin came over, the others left. Went to the American Embassy. Went back, went to the shops. Took a shortcut through the school and got ourselves a group of 7 year old chicks to chase us. Im telling you, they were feisty and arrogant. Girls these days. Went back and recieved a complaint, turned it around and said that they should watch those girls' mouths.
Packed. Ate out. AIRPLANE TIME!
Rocked up at the airport. Met a big group of students from california, played ninja with them. One of them got my email. Said cheers to mom and Robin. Chilled with that group. Went on the plane, saw 21 jump street. Popped half a sleeping pill. Watched In Time. Last thing I remember is seeing that it was 15 minutes left of the movie. Damnit.
Also chatted with some college kids.

Arrived in Amsterdam. Held intense eye contact with some chick I was sure was from 21 Jump Street. Then I saw another dude I was certain was from that movie.

Anyway, this is such rambling. I chilled at the airport and took a plane home. Yay. It's fcking bright. Sun is up till like 12. Ridiculous. Quite nice weather too. My room is so tiny. I'll be heading out in 2-3 hours. Cheers.

 

[DJ BREN]

Good luck in Norway dude, Scandinavian girls are so good looking.

 

[Nino-Tk]

I knew you couldn't survive our winter! Oh well, go and rock on dude!

 

[Mindgamez]

You lucky! Have a nice trip man!

Arrived in Amsterdam. Held intense eye contact with some chick I was sure was from 21 Jump Street. Then I saw another dude I was certain was from that movie.

Are you going insane or what? Haha

 

[NorwegianDJ]

So fine dude, it's ridiculous.
Yeah, I got tired of wearing my Norwegian Winter jacket for 2 months straight.
Definitely not. However, I have been paranoid since as long as I can remember, when I was smaller I would think that people, especially my parents, were out to kill me and were just looking for the perfect chance. The last few years I've realized the absurdity of such a self-absorbed universe and it doesn't really happen anymore.

As for Norway, it's cool. It's cold currently though. Still warmer than SA.

Proceeded to meet up with 2 friends at this beach. I got there early and explored this trail. I then met three 15 year old chicks and sat with them for a few minutes. Met Håkon, waited for Andreas. He brought this Polish chick with him from their class. She was so fine. Im a bit confused whether she has a bf or not, but I shall conquer her regardless.

We ended up just chilling there for a while, then walked home. Met up with the guys later and watched a movie in town. Chilled days.

Today I've just chilled the whole day. Played LoL with Libertine and found that people on East suck balls. Im such a fcking demi-god when it comes to games (and life). At 4, 2 close family friends came over with parents. Had taco. Nice evening. Now, afterwards, I made some calls and decided to stay home for the night.

I plan to get out fast and meet people. Get contacts, branch out. Everything is social here and the system is closed. One has to get in conciously. Yay.

I also notice that my voice is lighter when I speak Norwegian. Bothers me, so I'll try to fix it.

Also, I just read back about a 30 day challenge that I didnt end up doing last summer. So, why not? It involves Meditating every day and not MBing, for 30 days. I'll make the meditation sessions longer and longer, but start low, so I dont quit.