NorwegianDJ's journal of personal growth

[NorwegianDJ]

Fellas, my bracelet is on my right arm. It will not cross over to the evil left side.
Day 1.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Hunger Games.

 

[Amo]

Fellas, my bracelet is on my right arm. It will not cross over to the evil left side.
Day 1.

What?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Hunger Games.

As I said above, thanks! I seriously could not put it down. Gonna see if I can pick up the other 2 books shortly!

What?

It's pretty much another way of saying that I suck at no mb and I'm trying a different approach.

 

[SamTheHobit]

As I said above, thanks! I seriously could not put it down. Gonna see if I can pick up the other 2 books shortly!


It's pretty much another way of saying that I suck at no mb and I'm trying a different approach.

mb is perfectly healthy.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

mb is perfectly healthy.

Healthy and getting chicks/feelings good does not neccessarily relate.

It's a personal choice which I advocate to other people because it successfully helps me and others.

Whats healthy in your definition?

 

[SamTheHobit]

I highly doubt that jerking off affects game in the slightest. It's all in your head imo.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I highly doubt that jerking off affects game in the slightest. It's all in your head imo.

I guess you can't really disprove anything before you've experimented with it properly yourself.

It's made correlations between ejaculating and a 10% shorter lifespan. They think it might be the reason for the big differences in men & womens life expectancy.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I think this deserves an entry.

Earlier today I chatted with that freshman chick. She told me she had contemplated suicide yesterday. I tried to discourage her, but she was quite restraint to touching.

I later tickled her (at her lunch table w/ freshmen) and it seemed like she purposefully acted out an orgasm. Fun times.

I'll look into her soon, see what happens. Cheer her up.

Damn, so many people chatting to me.

Actually, this chick Im chatting to now, nvm, i said earlier. we'll have some fun in Norway this summer.

I also chatted a bit with this other chick, asked her to come over. She said she would like to, but cant. She also stated that she only likes this dude as a friend. Poor guy has liked her since 8th-10th grade.

Anyway, what sparked this entry.
Violet, this chick I've mentioned sometime earlier, initiated a chat with me now. I haven't spoken to her since before exams. Whenever we get eyecontact, she breaks it fast. She always shys away.

So somehow, she has noticed that "you don't bring your guitar to school anymore?"
Hmm.

Me: "I should, hey?"
Her: "well, it is more attractive. " BAM. Although I can't help but assume almost all the girls like me, this one came as a surprise. This is NOT a direct girl.
Me: "Well then I guess I dont really have a choice with you, but to bring it " I quickly decided to reward her for that.
Her: "but dont you do guitar lessons?"
Me: "I do. Ill go next week" I felt this was a weak response after I sent it. It implies that I'll do what she says, which wasn't my thinking at the time.
Her: "cool. if i sit with your 'group' table area, will i feel excluded tomorrow?" My friends and I are quite a tight group, while open at the same time, so no wonder she asks this. She kinda has a thing with my friends Prokop, but we'll see
Me: I'll make sure you wont

She responds with "okay. good." and sends me this clip of someone dancing to dubstep. w/e. I just found the above really cool. Made me realize that girls do like you, even though they never talk to you, nor show any signs of interest.

And the activity on this forum right now is INSANE!

 

[Mindgamez]

Hehe nice. And sometimes it's the other way around! The girl seem to show a lot of signs of interest and she's not even that interested. It happened to me and it sucks!

And I love the activity on this forum too. My friend will join soon so there will be another dude on the bootcamp! I just think that there should be less journals and other stuffs instead.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Today was interesting.

At break I decide to go sit with some sophomores and this girl i invited over yesterday. Freshman chick comes over, hugs and holds onto me and says "I did what you told me to." Looked on her forearm and she had several weak surface cuts. I honestly have no idea what to say to this. I just told her not to do anything stupid and held her embrace. The thing is, this chick is way unpredictable, it's like BPD. She can be sadish, full of energy, interested, not interested, laugh, so on. She also has a bf in USA.

Her attention gets caught by this grip-strengthener. I proceed to show this other chick how to get a proper grip on a penis.
I turn around and look for Violet where she usually is. There's noone there. I see another friend of hers and linger on her for a bit. I turn back around, and BAM, there's Violet, sitting on the table a meter to my left.

I go sit next to her. At this point, suddenly it seems like all the sophomore chicks are here + freshman chick. I just laughed at the absurdity. I know all of them must like me, but I JUST CANT PICK ONE. Thus, I make weak kino on any. 3 girls subtly fighting for my attention was funny. None direct, one quite shy. Ahhh. I need to be more direct. I think I want Violet, so I'll focus on her.. but if I wanna get the freshman chick, this is the time to take action. Life plays with us sometimes

She tells me we dont have to see your.. (chest hair), and goes ahead and closes the buttons on my uniform. Everyone but the people in our group goes in for lunch. I get prepped up to look like a nerd/fag and roll with it. Tucked in Polo and shorts up to my chest. I top it off with a gay walk into the cafeteria.

 

[LearningSlowly]

How old are you dude? Obviously the school system is different for you, is this college?

Stay away from BPD girl. If she associates you with her suicidal tendencies, and other girls are fighting for your attention, her way to fight for your attention is going to be to cut more. I hate that stuff, I would have said "Gross" and turned away.

Be a man and make a decision about these girls.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

16. Junior year.

Had a chat with Violet at around 9 pm:

Her: nice spending time with you
Me: ***! How do you like that nickname by the way?
It's been too long, we should hang out sometime.
Her: "nah. theres a *** in 12th grade. too similar.
should we." Obvious test is obvious. Back in the day I'd just reject myself here.
Me:fair enough. yeah. why not
Her: where would you like to hang out?
Me: got any plans tomorrow?" I knew she had plans tomorrow, thus seeing if she'd invite me.
Her: yes, i do in the middle of the day.
what are you doing this weekend?" She offers another option
Me: Not quite sure yet. Im quite spontaneus about what i do. I've got some dinner tomorrow, but im free on sunday." In reality I really have no idea what to do this weekend apart from that dinner.
Her: sunday it is.
what time? when
where?
what?
Me: randomness at muizenberg, tokai market, camps is too far, cav. Ah, market is on sat. Hmm. Muizenberg it is. 11 sound good?
Her: okay, I'll let you know. number?
*Exchange numbers + where i live*
Me: yeah
next to ****
ive gotta head out real quick. I'll get back to you later x
Her: i could drive to yours.? (On her scooter)
answer .
now . .
Me (almost 2 hours later): Sure thing. See you on sunday x

I'll take that as a date.

I was interrupted by 2 chicks from my grade being outside. I basically took them to the park and we chatted about open relationships, ****s, vaginas, tits and sex. I dry humped them and stuff. One was faithful to her bf, one was quite asexual. The first one wanted it so bad though. I put her hand down my pants, she didnt resist too much. Fun times.

 

[DanZy]

mb is perfectly healthy.

This is true, porn however isn't at all. If you must mb, avoid porn.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Smooth man, haha sometimes I forget you are like only 16 years old, I'm turning 19 on the 11th of this month bra!

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Well **** me. I just put the charger in and pressed 'back' by mistake. The elaborate post is gone.

On saturday I basically went around the estate with Prokop. Met 8 girls and 2 guys in 8th grade. Chilled with 3 of them for quite a while and aaaalmost pulled. Got an idea for next saturday. Pre-drinks at my place before a school dance at the school nextdoor.

Today Violet showed up on her scooter. I showed her the house and chatted in this room for a good 20 minutes. She finds my whiteboard with goals and tasks pretty weird. She probably said weird a good 20 times today. Im pretty ****ing weird.

Back to where I was before I deleted the mass of details.

I tell her 'we should do something' she agrees. We have my mom drive us to the beach nearby. Definitely not the optimal dating spot. Keep in mind that the only 'kino' thus far has been very simple like guiding her forward. I always have eye-contact. I dont give a sh1t if it's creepy.

The cd I made for my mom comes in handy, plays music i know she likes.

We walk around muizenberg for a bit. It's like walking and a bit of chatting. She's awfully quiet, but she probably spoke more than me

We walk towards Kalk bay. Chill on a bench. When we get up, I offer my hand to help her up of course. It's ignored, but it's a great.. 'trick' in general for hand holding.
Find another bench in the shade. -She's wearing jeans and a top and boots. It's really hot. I can barely wear shorts as Im writing this.

The main points of interest would be little touching (there was some subtle. She would move away if I came too close), a few sexual twist jokes, lots of eye contact from my part. I laugh so damn much, about everything. I simply told her I found life funny. Chatted with a lot of silence. I told her the place made me silent. So nice to look at the ocean and mountains. She initiates different convo's. A particular one that I liked was "first kiss" etc. She got a call from a friend. Turned out her friend had hooked up with some super hot guy and she got a bit irritated. Hahaha. It did break the vibe a bit, but it also set up a new future one.

She got up, I follow and try to grab her hand. She rejects it while I keep walking. After 10 meters I realize that she sat down on the ledge. I joke a bit with some local guys that saw this.

We chill there for a bit. She hates being called cute. I find this cute.
I text my mom and we head back toward muizenberg.
I just walk back, while I notice that she tries to walk at my side. I decide it's time to go back in.

She keeps pushing me into the wall in a fun way. Ahh. It's on. ****, I'm just assuming the **** out of this for the whole thing. Quite a bit of touching on the way back. She mentions how we should do something more exciting next time. I grab her hand again, but she rejects it. She tells me she doesnt like holding hands. I ask her what she likes. She says she just doesn't like holding hands. I tell her I'll figure it out later. She's positive.

Arriving at my place I see if she wants to stay outside/inside. Of course I don't ask, I just judge her body language.
Inside, I show her my room. She thought the other one was my room, leading by the hand. I tell her of course it's not, look at the princess blanket! Obviously that is my style.

Back in my room, I show her a drawing of me and 2 spraypaint pictures. Im really excited about them. She's not. As we're talking and looking about these, I have her close by the waist. She comes in closer. Something is wrong. Usually by now, we'd be kissing. I decide to go all in and put my hand under her chin. She doesn't react.

Ahh. I find this part funny. She tells me she doesn't date guys in the same school. I agree. She says I'll just tell people. I say that my #1 rule is don't kiss and tell. I do tell her how me and Robin share pretty much everything though, but that's it. During all this, contrasting, we're very close, her arms around my neck and mine by her waist. She's gotten super touchy since we went upstairs.

She has to leave anyway, so I lead her downstairs. Still everything is 100% real and on. Fvck it was damn cute when she put her hand on mine on the railing. Haha.

Repeat the above in the garage. I barely get to touch her lips before she denies it. She silently says "next time". I kiss her hand and she drives me to the gate, where I let her out.
I'll take this as a win. She was damn sweet.

On my way back I chat to 2 10th grade chicks.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Asked Violet out today:

Walking back from PE, while she has dancing. Conveniently, she's alone. - Sidenote: if girls seem to randomly be alone, any place they wouldn't usually be, or late, it's likely because of you.
I leave my friends, I call out, "oi", no reaction, "OI!", no reaction, "Violet!" She turns around. We chat very briefly while walking. During this time I have such weak kino, it's RIDICULOUS. Definately a sticking point there. It's correlated to being in school and around friends. I must be true to my intent.

So anyways, just after one of my friends makes it a tiny bit awkward, I call her name. She turns around and I go,"Violet, you wanna come with me to the *school next to me*'s valentines dance this saturday?" She's straight "no." Rationalizing it with "it's not our school, why would you go to another school's dance?" for her persona, it makes sense. However, that is irrelevant. Being me, I don't actually hear it. Really, I didn't hear it, but i understood it. I answer with, "Alright cool, but sunday's on you!", which was both good and bad, cause I want to make sure we're doing something on sunday.

It actually hit me a bit later, which made me realize: I'm experiencing scarcity right now, for the first time in almost 2 years. However, contrasting 2 years ago, I know what to do.

Which brings me to, as I'm sure i've mentioned, Im having a before and afterparty at my house on saturday, for that valentines dance. It's gonna be way awesome.¨

Sidenote: I'm being more descriptive, cause I read this excerpt on how journalers stop analysing when they get better, thus it sortof ruins the purpose. Take a look at my first pages to see a ****ton of scattered thoughts and analysing beyond belief.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Randomness, rockstars, lies, babes, alcohol, late-night creeping, and resolutions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4hi_YnX7tw
Im so sure Ive posted that song before. My carelessness is beyond belief.

I think I've entered a new stage.

I think I'd call it a rackstar dilemma. I can get what I want, but I'm not happy. I know what I have to do. I must live in alignment, just do and be what I want and have to be. Im such a fvcking beast. I got what was good for me, but not what I wanted.

I figured Rise Against are playing in my hometown in Norway this summer. Skrillex and Rise Against.. I didnt have words when i read it.

I've made a promise not to tell anyone, which I adhere to, apart from you guys. Consider yourselves lucky. Im refuting it for another one of my friends as Im typing this. It actually sucks for your ego, but in the end it's for the best.

K, lets stop being vague as fvck.

Alright, just set up a surf date in 1 hour, so I'll be quick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIP4Q_L5iCM

Friday:

Head over to Robin's place, eventually get driven to this gettogether party in Vredehoek by his brother. We jump the gate and enter. It's filled with chain smokers and alcoholics, and everyone is stoned. Was an interesting night filled with next to little interesting things. It was cool though.

Saturday:
Oh **** ME. Hahahahaha. People start arriving at 5-6. Me and Nic have already bought some booze. We end up being like 10 people at my place. Then 4 more of my friends show up.

Jason is also having a party next door, with like 40 people. As those people leave for the dance, I chat with a few of them that I know, including swede.
Guess who shows up to my place at this time? Violet and 3 other chicks. Yay.
I found it funny how I gave this other chick a hug, but barely dropped eye contact with Violet. I know she doesn't want people in school to know, so I'm easy on touching whenever someone is around. I hug this beautiful swede goodbye and head inside with Violet. I take her to my room where she puts her bag. Matthew follows, poor guy being rather drunk tonight. He tells me "Dont touch Violet!!" and pushes me away. I just laugh. Violet whispers to me, "Dont leave me alone with him."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSZky8U3hrE

We head downstairs and watch the others try to leave, while I run around cleaning up everything and doing people favours, which reminds me that Prokop owes me a pair of socks. After watching Matthew try to tie his shoes, we lock off the house and leave hand in hand after the others.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maAZUMYiGYE

As we reach the school (like a 400m walk), we meet her 2 guy friends, one of them being Daniel, her dance partner. She takes a pack of sigarettes and a lighter out of her shoe and gives it to him. I end up having it in my pocket. She says it's for him, she knows I dont like it.
Turns out she forgot her money in her bag, so we go back, with a comment, "typical of you Violet" from Daniel. Im quite laid back and not very forward at all. I know the possibility of her doing it on purpose to get laid was there, but I didn't take the risk.

Lead her by the hand through a pack of people by the entrance, letting go whenever someone from school came up. Inside I meet tons of people I know while we wait for Daniel. She asks me not to leave her alone with him. We enter the hall. It's cut off in half, with chilling spots in the back and a stage in front, with tons of people dancing. We walk and dance through the crowd. Just fun stuff really. A few times we come really close, like those "make out scenes" in movies. It's only teasing from both sides though, as I know I have to be careful, considering what I know. We share a quick kiss, more of a seal, and head out on the other side, where about 100-200 people are. Small area.

During all of this, I just keep bumping into so many people I know, it's ridiculous. Epic social proof I guess. Im actually impresssed that this thought didnt cross my mind once.

I think Daniel borrowed Violet for 10 minutes while I talked to random people outside. I meet them as I walk around. I think Daniel asked for the smokes now, while pointing at Violet. I give her a serious deathstare and ask her if she smokes. I think she says yes, and I immediately turn around and walk off,chatting to some people. She apologizes, I tell her I just felt like being dramatic. We make plans on how we're gonna sneak out of the area, which has guards and is sealed off.

Luckily, I surveyed the area at 1 PM the same day, so I know it. I tell her about this emergency door in the back, and she's keen to get there. I lead her through the boy's bathroom and down the stairs. There we encounter someone hooking up and the door is locked. I take her back upstairs, but now we see the stage. We go on backstage and hide behind a piano. While there, she smokes, we hook up a few times, and chat. We stay for about 30 minutes. During this time I chase away a few people that try to walk past. Eventually we are caught as we are about to leave.

After this, she runs off to the dancefloor with Daniel, while I happily walk around outside talking to a bunch of girls.
Im on fire. I talk to everyone immediately, no thought. Someone hot walks by? I grab them and tell them what I like about them. A ridiculous amount of girls responded so well to this. I didn't hook up with any that night, cause I felt like being faithful. Yeah.

I approached so many girls that I can't remember all. Most notably was this group of 6 8th grade girls that I randomly walked up to. I just said whatever was on my mind. They were just stunned that I was talking to them. I then started jerking them off and creeping on them. They wanted my name for facebook, so I gave it. I then figured out they lived in my estate, so I told them all the dirty things I'd do to them if I ever found them. I then chased them away.

After this I repeated it with 5 9th grade girls. One of them kinda hated me, so I pushed her around a bit while we screamed verbalities at eachother. I decided they would either tell me to fvck off or leave; I would not. I succeeded.

I walked up to these 3 chicks, took all their attention, and started studying each of them from top to bottom. Once I had spent 30 seconds doing this in silence, I left.

Alex and Connor were in disbelief how awesome I was, so I had Connor walk with me for a bit. I walked up to these 2 chicks and stopped them with one arm over each shoulder. We chat and I introduce Connor. It would've been quite a good set if I wanted to pursue. The one on my left was quite hot.

I walk up to this other group of 5 chicks. 3 walk away, Im left with a super-horny one and her friend. She asks me to dance, I say I have a girl inside. I then take her to Connor. He says "naaaah, I dont dance", sounding like he's rejecting her. I signal and yell at him "She wants to HOOK UP!!!! HOOK UP HOOK UP!" He gets the signal and they go dance and do dirty things. He thanked me today.

Repeat the above paragraphs for another 30 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clbHc4Xg&ob=av2e

After this, I lost my will to approach random people. I started looking for Violet, with increasing paranoia about her and Daniel. Looked outside and inside. I find it interesting how determined I was walking and acting. It's like a mindful, 'dude you better get the fvck outta my way'. I meet quite a few people I know, 1 chick that gave me a *******, and another that I fingered and gave me a handjob. I got away from them fast. I even looked on stage, simply walking up there like it was my privilege. I decide I'll just text her.

Im walking around inside again as this girl runs up to me and gives me a great hug. Turns out its Jean's sister from camp. I'll call her Jailbait, cause she's turning 15, yet looks like she could be 18.

On family day, I spotted this hot sister of someone. Turns out it was Jean's sister. When she leaned over later and I saw her rack and body,( and face) I was sold.

Of course she's super excited to see me. We hug, and chat a tiny bit. As I take my phone out for her to take down my number, Violet shows up. I finish up quickly and walk Violet out. On our way back, we bump into Nic whom I command to tell me who has the keys. I was very commanding this night. We run into the rest of the folks, drop contact and walk back to my place.

Back at my place its me, prokop, Violet and the 2 other girls that I fvcked with clothes on for fun a week ago. We're chilling at my room in complete darkness. Fcking orgie on the bed, hahaha. Im not really feeling it. Me and Violet do share some quick kisses in the darkness though. However, it is then, when we're all chilling on the bed, that prokop has to start talking about Felix. While Violet was trying to shut him up, I caught onto that Felix and Violet have a sexual past and present, although he moved to Scotland in august.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Randomness, rockstars, lies, babes, alcohol, late-night creeping, and resolutions #2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZhzH-nFlPw

Prokop and the 2 girls leave. Violet comes on top of me and apologizes. I say it's chilled, "the past is the past". I hear her say "its the future". It all made sense in that moment. Why she doesn't commit. Why she's shy, but forward. Everything. I just found it disgusting. I put it aside. We hook up a bit, but I'm really relaxed. "Unrelax yourself then" as I go on top of her.
Personally, I find this position uncomfortable. Not only can't I hook up properly when I'm having my weight on my forearms, but how am I supposed to get her clothes off effectively?
We continue on and off while we get called 2 times each. Major ****blocks. After this she has to leave. Before this though, we talk about how to be around school. She says that she easily gets tired of people if she sees them a lot. She said back at school we'll be just friends. I asked "friends at school or friends in general?" She answered in general. To me, it's obvious what kind of relationship this will be, but I stop myself even mentioning an open relationship, cause it would just ruin what is coming.
Im obviously not gonna go out with her next weekend. It's an obvious flake.
I walk her to my gate and walk to the park as she disappears in the distance.

I'm in a state of turmoil and just tell everyone to fck the fvck off. I didn't really have a reason to be mad, but I needed it. During this time, everyone asks me if anything happened between me and Violet. It's super hard to say no, but I stand by my values; it will benefit everyone in the end. This one girl lets me rest on her boobs. She says that Im sucking her boobs and pulls me off by the hair. I shout at her repeatedly and start chomping on her boob. I then drink some coke and feel better soon afterwards when I realized it's all irrelevant.

I bump into this hot chick from almost a month ago, that lives very closeby. I'll call her Brittney. Her and her friends look really good. She just wants a sigarette though. I do give her one, as Violet gave me her packet (which I respect). We chill with them at my place, where I find it obvious that her friend wants me and brittney to hook up. Im just tired really and chilled out. Eventually the night is over at 2 AM.


Today I chatted to Jailbait straight after she accepted my request.
Me (wallpost): YOU. Ive got a whole day of BOREDOM ahead. Let's do something!

She inboxes me: Hello and what do you have in mind for today?

Me: i dont know about you, but im waaay tired after last night. You should've been over at my place!
But really, I could do most things today. We could climb a mountain, walk around the slums, rent a romantic comedy, turn off the sound and make our own vocals. We could make photo evidence of some epic adventure we never went on. Or we could just cuddle in my bed.

Her: Haha what happened at your house? I don't even know where you live. Where do you live? Um I think we were going to go to muizenburg today because Jean wants to surf. And I have homework... Oh it was so nice to see you again I thought I would never see you again

Blahblah, I invite myself to surf at muizenberg.
They come pick me up. Me and Jean surf while she swims and sunbathes. She's superhot. Her body is just amazing.
We go all the way out with her, where me and her chill by my surfboard. She's really cold, I find her hand quickly, and she goes back in.
I caught about 7 waves I think. Didn't fail a single one.
I find her and their mom back on the beach. Take off my wetsuit and chill for a bit. We then go out and swim while Jean surfs.
This was way cool. Of course I tackle her into the water after about a minute. We hold hands and shizz while we dive under the waves. Seriously, it's something I'd recommend. I carried her around underwater and had her on my shoulders. Only thing I regret is not kissing her on the way out, cause it wasn't really possible on the way in. We get on land colder than Ive been for 2 years, take an outside shower together and back up the stuff. They then drive me home, where we just hug (obviously, with family around I don't expect anything). I message her 10 minutes later, "Didnt know how comfortable you were with family around. Feel like going on a more stereotypical date on wednesday, something to look forward to?" - Referring to how she has nothing to look forward to in school this week.

Her: "Yeah sorry it was a little awkward with them there. I'm sorry I can't go out during the week "
Me: "fair enough. Make it up to me next weekend "
blahblah
Me: "i just wrapped myself in my princess blanket. You really have to see it yourself"
Her: "Hahahaha I wish I was there I just had the most amazing shower ever
Me: Wow, I can imagine. Come over sometime.
Her: "Yeah I think I should "

We scheduele for her to come over early on saturday, then I'll take her to a party in the evening.

Seems like things work out after all.

Keep in mind: Push harder and care less. Memories cannot replace the present, ever.

 

[Amo]

You're really starting to get the hang of catching yourself in the middle of emotion. My little Norway's growing up. :')