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Normal female behavior or red flags?

AttackFormation

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The girl im talking to got upset yesterday (or pretended to), because i brought up a subject she claimed to find tiresome.

1. I tried solving it yesterday. Before bedtime i said we cant say good night yet, because there are still bad feelings and we have to decide to forgive or not forgive first. She didnt respond to that directly. Today we said good morning, she left my next message on read so i asked her if shes still tired of me because of yesterday or just busy. She responded with a couple dismissive gifs. I said i didnt mean to make such a problem but if she wants me to leave her alone i will. She said ok thanks.

2. Later today she texted good night. Then said i should apologise, so i simply pointed out where i already did. She dismissed that and said im acting like a baby. Next she insinuated that shes not important to me, because i didnt try harder to talk to her when she sent the dismissive gifts so i failed the test. I said i knew thats what she was testing but i didnt want to play a game. She replied thats very nice of you clap for yourself. Then she went into a long monologue.

What i see is a precedent where she can act upset, dismiss my efforts at forgiveness and clear communication, insult me, put all the blame on me, gaslight me into thinking i need to make it up to her, and then have herself as the judge of whether im guessing what she wants well enough and making up to her well enough or not. It pissed me off but i didnt show that. I wanted to say in fact it's this behavior that makes me not love her but didnt say that yet. So, is this just normal female behavior or red flags? Im wondering because if this is what it will be like to live with a woman, it doesnt feel like it's worth it.
 
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AttackFormation

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Just move on bro, she’s disrespectful and combative. Next!

postscript: your messages to her were all needy. Is this a woman you know, in person?
Thanks for your advice.

That could technically be a flaw of my messages. The explanation is these days i just say what i feel like saying, i dont want a fear-based mindset of worrying so much about how im coming across. Then they can take it or leave it and im fine either way. I dont know her in person yet no, im at the vetting stage.
 
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Pierce Manhammer

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The good morning goodnight thing is cringe af! You don’t even know this woman.

Move on or ask her out. Stop wasting time. You’re wimping hard core.

Thanks for your advice.

That could technically be a flaw of my messages. The explanation is these days i just say what i feel like saying, i dont want a fear-based mindset of worrying so much about how im coming across. And then im fine either way if were not compatible. I dont know her in person yet no, im at the vetting stage.
 

AttackFormation

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The good morning goodnight thing is cringe af! You don’t even know this woman.

Move on or ask her out. Stop wasting time. You’re wimping hard core.
She wants to communicate every day or she feels neglected (not the first time women from her culture have implied that). So that's an easy way of doing it. It's no big deal to me. The context is that im looking for someone who could be a wife and mother, and i had a good impression of her so far which is why i bothered to make this thread. But obviously that impression is changing now, as you would expect whenever the masks start dropping. And that's the point... vetting.

I was planning to meet her when i could, just couldnt meet yet. But yeah i already told myself that after this woman, im done with that.
 
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Pierce Manhammer

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You over invested in text, how old are you and her? Keep communication to a minimum, and get an in person date, in the next few days. You haven’t even seen her in person. You’re over invested and she knows it by showing you blatant disrespect, as you told us.
 

CornbreadFed

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What was the subject? You could have called her mother a big fat farming tool or something? Some subjects you just do not bring up to women yet alone humans regardless.
 

BeExcellent

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Pierce is 100% correct on this one. OP is approval seeking & asking "How high?" when she says "Jump!"

I predict he's already blown it & they never meet in person. I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.

Anybody wanna make odds?
 

Millard Fillmore

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The girl im talking to got upset yesterday (or pretended to), because i brought up a subject she claimed to find tiresome.
Talking to...? It's way too early for that and also it sounds like too much talk, not enough action.

But generally speaking if someone would rather continue bytching I simply say, "I've already offered my apology. If you won't accept it, that's your problem." Then cut it off.
 

PlatoPacks23

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if you really like her, you should 100% get her on the phone. she can't hide behind these dumb gifs and "waiting to text" things.


worst case leave a (short) voice mail but what's going on right now is pretty unwinnable
 

AttackFormation

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What was the subject? You could have called her mother a big fat farming tool or something? Some subjects you just do not bring up to women yet alone humans regardless.
It was nothing inherently insulting, no.

Pierce is 100% correct on this one. OP is approval seeking & asking "How high?" when she says "Jump!"

I predict he's already blown it & they never meet in person. I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.

Anybody wanna make odds?
I see my behavior as testing the waters. If im respectful and cooperative and she meets that with disrespect, games and insults, it lets me know her character sooner than if she still felt she had to keep a mask up.
 

CBear

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Thanks for your advice.

That could technically be a flaw of my messages. The explanation is these days i just say what i feel like saying, i dont want a fear-based mindset of worrying so much about how im coming across. Then they can take it or leave it and im fine either way. I dont know her in person yet no, im at the vetting stage.
You haven't even met and she's acting like this already. Do you believe this is a good sign or a bad sign? Because I'll tell you, any time a person is this comfortable being petty this early on, it just means that they're an extremely difficult person to deal with. Sounds like a lot of trouble. Good riddance for you, don't need to waste any time on something that'll be bad for your mental health.
 

AttackFormation

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You haven't even met and she's acting like this already. Do you believe this is a good sign or a bad sign? Because I'll tell you, any time a person is this comfortable being petty this early on, it just means that they're an extremely difficult person to deal with. Sounds like a lot of trouble. Good riddance for you, don't need to waste any time on something that'll be bad for your mental health.
Youre absolutely right and normally i would drop her for this. But shes my physical type which isnt that easy for me to find where i am. And she posted positive things about me on her tiktok which she doesnt realise i can see, and that made me think she might be genuine, but it might just mean she is mentally unstable. I dont know for sure. Thats why it's harder than normal to just cut her off.

Today she tried to video call me, i didnt respond, then she said she misses me, and now shes saying ive decided to not talk to her anymore and if i dont wanna talk to her anymore she has no problem with that. Im very tempted to agree with her on that...
 
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SW15

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she’s disrespectful and combative. Next!
Pierce is 100% correct on this one. OP is approval seeking & asking "How high?" when she says "Jump!"

I predict he's already blown it & they never meet in person. I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.

Anybody wanna make odds?
That's a good reason to next someone. The interaction isn't going anywhere.
 

Mertz09

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Pierce is 100% correct on this one. OP is approval seeking & asking "How high?" when she says "Jump!"

I predict he's already blown it & they never meet in person. I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.

Anybody wanna make odds?
Nope...
 

Mertz09

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Youre absolutely right and normally i would drop her for this. But shes my physical type which isnt that easy for me to find where i am. And she posted positive things about me on her tiktok which she doesnt realise i can see, and that made me think she might be genuine, but it might just mean she is mentally unstable. I dont know for sure. Thats why it's harder than normal to just cut her off.

Today she tried to video call me, i didnt respond, then she said she misses me, and now shes saying ive decided to not talk to her anymore and if i dont wanna talk to her anymore she has no problem with that. Im very tempted to agree with her on that...
Next!!! And no contact!
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I see my behavior as testing the waters. If im respectful and cooperative and she meets that with disrespect, games and insults, it lets me know her character sooner than if she still felt she had to keep a mask up.
Well, you tested the waters and they're shark-infested.
Unless you enjoy 'dramatic' women, I would move on. You're not equipped to deal with her.
Find someone who thinks the world of you.
 
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Barrister

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@AttackFormation

You have been a good poster here in the past. This sounds more like an imposter that has found your account and made this post. The fact you are expending this kind of energy on a woman you haven't even met yet is mind-boggling. Unless you are in some type of committed relationship with a woman (at a minimum a plate), there is ZERO reason to have any type of argument with her. The fact you are having this kind of conversation with a woman you have never met in person is an auto-NEXT and you need to be done with her.

For women you haven't met, you should be maintaining mystery and giving little to no information about yourself. Having a good morning/good night routine with her is pathetic. That is solely reserved for an LTR and nothing else. Wake up, brother.
 

AttackFormation

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@AttackFormation

You have been a good poster here in the past. This sounds more like an imposter that has found your account and made this post. The fact you are expending this kind of energy on a woman you haven't even met yet is mind-boggling. Unless you are in some type of committed relationship with a woman (at a minimum a plate), there is ZERO reason to have any type of argument with her. The fact you are having this kind of conversation with a woman you have never met in person is an auto-NEXT and you need to be done with her.

For women you haven't met, you should be maintaining mystery and giving little to no information about yourself. Having a good morning/good night routine with her is pathetic. That is solely reserved for an LTR and nothing else. Wake up, brother.
Haha maybe my mindset got languid, i stopped coming here for a long time because i dont want to spend too much thought on what's just women. And now you guys are giving me the smelling salts big time, i suppose thats what i need. Thanks for your guidance and im definitely moving on now, i was already seething at the disrespect when id showed nothing but politness and certainly cant see a life together with someone who is already like this. Honestly as i said before, if it wasnt for her physique i wouldnt even have thought twice about moving on.
 

Barrister

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Haha maybe my mindset got languid, i stopped coming here for a long time because i dont want to spend too much thought on what's just women. And now you guys are giving me the smelling salts big time, i suppose thats what i need. Thanks for your guidance and im definitely moving on now, i was already seething at the disrespect when id showed nothing but politness and certainly cant see a life together with someone who is already like this. Honestly as i said before, if it wasnt for her physique i wouldnt even have thought twice about moving on.
Iron sharpens iron as they say. Good to have you back and glad to provide the wake up call. I have needed a kick in the a$$ before too so we aren't any different. I think this place keeps us on our toes even if it is all stuff we have heard before.
 
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