"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Non-verbal conversation...

S

StartnAgain

Don Juan
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Okay, you're out with with your new sweetie. You dig her, she digs you (it's obvious). You're enjoying being together and feel at ease with each other. The small talk has been just that. The *real* communication is happening on the dance floor (during the slow numbers, when you're close). Here's something to try once you're back at your table.

Look into her eyes.

Don't put on an act. Don't try too hard (or *think* too hard) about what you're doing. Don't stare, but *engage* her eyes. Just tell her with your look what you're thinking. Smile-- slightly, but genuinely (and knowingly). Don't fake it. Let her know-- without *saying* it out loud-- how much you're enjoying being with her.

As she returns your gaze and your smile (and if you do it right, she *will*), reach across the table for her hand-- she'll reach back. Stroke and caress her hand and fingers gently, never breaking your eye contact.

After a few seconds, give her a warm smile, squeeze her hand, let go, and resume your conversation.

Do this several times during your date, making it last a little longer each time. I'll bet that by the end of the night, you're communicating *much* more with your eyes (and your other parts
) than with your words.

Enjoy life,

SA
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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F

Fakir

Don Juan
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Moderators/StartnAgain,
Move this to the Tips section

-Fakir
 
B

Blaster

Don Juan
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You're about 3.5 years late in your reponse there, bud :p
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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