Hey guys I'm sure pretty much nobody knows me on this forum because I started a journal but then stopped writing in it and I don't post much. But rest assured I've been trying to get better at this stuff.
I'd just like to share some of the things I've noticed so far along this journey. The reason that I'm making this post isn't because I'm trying to give advice to people or anything, but rather I'd just like to relate to some of you because a lot of this stuff you can't talk about with everyday people in your life, and also maybe get a pep talk from some of the more prominent members here like Igetit and Warrior since the best way to start this journey is to get advice from others who are farther along than you.
1) This Isn't About Girls, It's About Happiness
For the longest time I used to huff and puff about not getting girls. I was UTTERLY CONVINCED that it was literally impossible for me to get girls because of my height and other superficial reasons.
And then I realized something after I read something Warrior posted (I forgot what it was but I had an aha moment), I realized that my whole life revolved around whether girls liked me or not. But isn't that really silly when you think about it? I'm a man, there's so much more stuff going on in my life than women, and I know to most people who come here that statement would sound absurd, but it's true.
Women are just one part of your life. You've also got your career and your social life to worry about (I know women are related to that but it's not exactly the same). If you are failing in this category it's alright, there will be a time in your career or something else you are slacking in too, but women shouldn't be 90% of what you're focused on in life.
Focus on doing what makes you happy no matter what other people say. If it makes you happy and people make fun of you or don't like you, cut them off. Your pursuit of happiness is your most valuable asset because nobody can ever take it away from you. You can lose your job, your wife, everything, but nobody can ever take away your pursuit of happiness.
This was the first major thing I learned so far.
2) Never...Never...Never Ask Women For Advice About Other Women
This one is self-explanitory, but so important. Ask your friends who are good at this, or better yet, WATCH THEM. And next time you're in a situation, ask yourself what they would do in that exact situation.
3) Nobody Wants You To Succeed!
This one was a big one that I learned next. Nobody, NOBODY wants you to succeed. And I don't mean with girls because as I just stated before this isn't about girls it's about life.
Your friends who you hang out with will ignore you, they won't let you become the leader, the man you want to be because you fit into their version of what they want their life to be. Any girls who you used to have a crush on don't want you to succeed because if you do that means they missed out on a great catch. If you had issues with your parents, guess what? They're going to continue to do the same things to you until you're out of the house.
Every single person you currently know does not want you to succeed. They'll tell you they do, they'll insist they do, but they don't. And when you realize this you're going to have to do one of two things: force your changes to come out when you're around them or get rid of them.
You can change how you look, you can get a better job, you can do anything you want, but anyone who remembers you as a wimp will continue to see you as a wimp until the day you die or until your changes are undeniable and everyone else treats you accordingly (everyone else might have to be entirely new people).
Your friends who are loyal to you are great people, but if you really want the life you've always wanted, where you're respected and treated like a king, you've either got to get them to change the way they act with you or find new friends. It's better to ditch some life-long friends and experience the happiness you've always wanted than be loyal to them and miserable your entire life.
And another thing, you'll beat yourself up about your past time and time again. You'll think about all of the blown opportunities, all of the things you could've done differently. But you need to forgive yourself, and understand why you let things happen the way they did.
Even those of you reading this don't want me to succeed, because then it's just more competition.
4) Happiness Won't Just Fall From The Sky, Anything You Want In Life You've Got To Work For
I used to think for the longest time "Look, I'm not getting girls now, and I probably won't get girls for a long time, but maybe I'll meet that one girl someday".
Guess what? You may meet some girl and just get married, but if you get married to a girl just to get married, or get into a relationship out of your insecurities, you'll be living a lie your entire life, and you'll never find happiness.
The women of your dreams will be someone who accentuates your already good qualities, and will be someone who compliments your happy life, not creates it.
The first thing I did along this journey was simply changed what I looked like. I got a new haircut, got new clothes, and I looked like a million bucks compared to what I looked like before. Guess what? I didn't get anymore girls than I did before.
And why is that? Because I tried looking better so that girls would like me more. You shouldn't look your very best because girls want good looking guys, LOOK YOUR BEST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SELF RESPECT. You deserve to look the best, and I'd argue one of the reasons girls don't like dirty hippies also is because not showering and such is a sign of a lack of self respect.
5) Okay, You Know What You Need To Do, Now Go Make Some Mistakes!
This one is pretty much where I am now. I've begun making mistake after mistake with women. I used to be incredibly afraid to make a move with women. I couldn't tell when to go for a kiss, and I was worried that if I tried to kiss a girl and I got denied then she would tell everyone she knows and I would be humiliated.
Sure, she might tell her friends, but it's never going to be as big of a deal as you make it out to be. And furthermore YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES. I just messed up big time with some girl at my house last night, and guess what happened? I kicked her out because she was being b*tchy about it. And going back to number 3, I probably won't be hanging out with her anytime soon either.
6) Don't Listen To What She Says, Watch What She Does
Self explanitory.
7) She Wants You To Succeed
This goes against number 3 in one sense, but I'm not talking about a girl who already denied you. Every girl wants someone to sweep them off their feet. Why not make it you? Sure it could be someone else, but why not you? Just do it!
So that's what I've learned so far, and that's where I am. I still have a few friends who make fun of me that I'm pretty much the worst dude they know when it comes to girls, and it used to tear my insides up a lot. But I'm at a point where I brush it off and dis them back and it's all in good fun.
My life is going to be amazing, and not because I'm going to have girls in it, a nice job, or anything like that. It's going to be amazing because I won't give up until it is. If you ever give up trying to make your life amazing, you haven't just already sealed your fate with women, but you've also dedicated yourself to an inferior life.
I've still never had a girlfriend, and no I haven't mastered this yet, but I've started pushing my limits, and I know my life will be amazing.
I'd just like to share some of the things I've noticed so far along this journey. The reason that I'm making this post isn't because I'm trying to give advice to people or anything, but rather I'd just like to relate to some of you because a lot of this stuff you can't talk about with everyday people in your life, and also maybe get a pep talk from some of the more prominent members here like Igetit and Warrior since the best way to start this journey is to get advice from others who are farther along than you.
1) This Isn't About Girls, It's About Happiness
For the longest time I used to huff and puff about not getting girls. I was UTTERLY CONVINCED that it was literally impossible for me to get girls because of my height and other superficial reasons.
And then I realized something after I read something Warrior posted (I forgot what it was but I had an aha moment), I realized that my whole life revolved around whether girls liked me or not. But isn't that really silly when you think about it? I'm a man, there's so much more stuff going on in my life than women, and I know to most people who come here that statement would sound absurd, but it's true.
Women are just one part of your life. You've also got your career and your social life to worry about (I know women are related to that but it's not exactly the same). If you are failing in this category it's alright, there will be a time in your career or something else you are slacking in too, but women shouldn't be 90% of what you're focused on in life.
Focus on doing what makes you happy no matter what other people say. If it makes you happy and people make fun of you or don't like you, cut them off. Your pursuit of happiness is your most valuable asset because nobody can ever take it away from you. You can lose your job, your wife, everything, but nobody can ever take away your pursuit of happiness.
This was the first major thing I learned so far.
2) Never...Never...Never Ask Women For Advice About Other Women
This one is self-explanitory, but so important. Ask your friends who are good at this, or better yet, WATCH THEM. And next time you're in a situation, ask yourself what they would do in that exact situation.
3) Nobody Wants You To Succeed!
This one was a big one that I learned next. Nobody, NOBODY wants you to succeed. And I don't mean with girls because as I just stated before this isn't about girls it's about life.
Your friends who you hang out with will ignore you, they won't let you become the leader, the man you want to be because you fit into their version of what they want their life to be. Any girls who you used to have a crush on don't want you to succeed because if you do that means they missed out on a great catch. If you had issues with your parents, guess what? They're going to continue to do the same things to you until you're out of the house.
Every single person you currently know does not want you to succeed. They'll tell you they do, they'll insist they do, but they don't. And when you realize this you're going to have to do one of two things: force your changes to come out when you're around them or get rid of them.
You can change how you look, you can get a better job, you can do anything you want, but anyone who remembers you as a wimp will continue to see you as a wimp until the day you die or until your changes are undeniable and everyone else treats you accordingly (everyone else might have to be entirely new people).
Your friends who are loyal to you are great people, but if you really want the life you've always wanted, where you're respected and treated like a king, you've either got to get them to change the way they act with you or find new friends. It's better to ditch some life-long friends and experience the happiness you've always wanted than be loyal to them and miserable your entire life.
And another thing, you'll beat yourself up about your past time and time again. You'll think about all of the blown opportunities, all of the things you could've done differently. But you need to forgive yourself, and understand why you let things happen the way they did.
Even those of you reading this don't want me to succeed, because then it's just more competition.
4) Happiness Won't Just Fall From The Sky, Anything You Want In Life You've Got To Work For
I used to think for the longest time "Look, I'm not getting girls now, and I probably won't get girls for a long time, but maybe I'll meet that one girl someday".
Guess what? You may meet some girl and just get married, but if you get married to a girl just to get married, or get into a relationship out of your insecurities, you'll be living a lie your entire life, and you'll never find happiness.
The women of your dreams will be someone who accentuates your already good qualities, and will be someone who compliments your happy life, not creates it.
The first thing I did along this journey was simply changed what I looked like. I got a new haircut, got new clothes, and I looked like a million bucks compared to what I looked like before. Guess what? I didn't get anymore girls than I did before.
And why is that? Because I tried looking better so that girls would like me more. You shouldn't look your very best because girls want good looking guys, LOOK YOUR BEST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SELF RESPECT. You deserve to look the best, and I'd argue one of the reasons girls don't like dirty hippies also is because not showering and such is a sign of a lack of self respect.
5) Okay, You Know What You Need To Do, Now Go Make Some Mistakes!
This one is pretty much where I am now. I've begun making mistake after mistake with women. I used to be incredibly afraid to make a move with women. I couldn't tell when to go for a kiss, and I was worried that if I tried to kiss a girl and I got denied then she would tell everyone she knows and I would be humiliated.
Sure, she might tell her friends, but it's never going to be as big of a deal as you make it out to be. And furthermore YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES. I just messed up big time with some girl at my house last night, and guess what happened? I kicked her out because she was being b*tchy about it. And going back to number 3, I probably won't be hanging out with her anytime soon either.
6) Don't Listen To What She Says, Watch What She Does
Self explanitory.
7) She Wants You To Succeed
This goes against number 3 in one sense, but I'm not talking about a girl who already denied you. Every girl wants someone to sweep them off their feet. Why not make it you? Sure it could be someone else, but why not you? Just do it!
So that's what I've learned so far, and that's where I am. I still have a few friends who make fun of me that I'm pretty much the worst dude they know when it comes to girls, and it used to tear my insides up a lot. But I'm at a point where I brush it off and dis them back and it's all in good fun.
My life is going to be amazing, and not because I'm going to have girls in it, a nice job, or anything like that. It's going to be amazing because I won't give up until it is. If you ever give up trying to make your life amazing, you haven't just already sealed your fate with women, but you've also dedicated yourself to an inferior life.
I've still never had a girlfriend, and no I haven't mastered this yet, but I've started pushing my limits, and I know my life will be amazing.
